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Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Santa Maria de Ovila/archive2

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Addressed comments from Crisco 1492

[edit]
  • Martin de Finojosa - Worth a redlink? He's been canonized, after all.
  • "To the west of the cloister stands a barrel-vaulted great nave." - Why the shift in tense in this paragraph?
  • Paragraph after that as well.
  • "Even at its height, Óvila remained one of the smallest Cistercian monasteries in the region of Castile." - Worth a "however" here, since we've been talking about its expansion?
  • "Subsequent wars caused considerable losses and major economic damage to the property" - Economic damage to a property? Or physical damage? I have trouble visualising property as having economic damage.
  • Hmm?


  • "The fatal blow..." - Seems a little flowery for an encyclopedia.
  • "the Confiscations" - Why the capital C?
  • "The monastery project had cost Hearst about one million dollars during 1930–31." - Today's money?
  • I ask because $97,000 to $1 million is a big jump
  • More:
  • "a few buildings remain of the original monastery in Spain. These include the foundations of the church and the winery or bodega, now the oldest surviving building on the site." - First, are the foundations considered buildings? Second, is the bodega whole(-ish), or do just the foundations survive?
  • I note that you use the convert template {{convert|27|by|90|ft}} in the Spanish ruins section, but have hardcoded measurements above. Shouldn't this be standardised? You mix it up several other times later.
  • One of the instances is the following: "with a three-foot-thick (1 m) mat of concrete and steel". I thought that "{{convert|3|ft|adj=on|0}} thick mat of concrete and steel" (displaying as "3-foot (1 m) thick mat of concrete and steel") was less attractive because it separated "three-foot" from "thick". Same with "seven-foot-thick (2 m) walls"; the other instance. Basically, I don't like the look of the adjectival form of the convert template. Binksternet (talk) 04:11, 4 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • I personally prefer having both numbers together, as one would not read something "thick 1 m concrete". Does the MOS have a bit about this?
  • "incurring annual storage fees of $15,000" - in modern dollars or 1930s dollars?
  • What's the policy for geocoordinates in line?
  • I acknowledge that inline coordinates are not pretty prose of the sort you want in a book, but they are part of Wikipedia and they allow linking several locations within one article. Most articles are not that complicated—they have one location, or none—but this one discusses several spots, and I wanted the curious reader to be able to find them. Binksternet (talk) 04:11, 4 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The current abbot of the Abbey of New Clairvaux, Thomas X. Davis, first saw the stones and pictured them reassembled as a monastery on September 15, 1955—his first day in California. He arrived that day in San Francisco to serve as a new monk in Vina, California, at Our Lady of New Clairvaux, Trappists of the order known as Cistercians of the Strict Observance, whose land was once used by Leland Stanford to grow wine grapes." - That is a monster sentence and difficult to parse. Perhaps trim / split it.