Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Nightswimming (Awake)/archive1

Addressed comments from Crisco 1492

Image comments

File:Steve Lawrence-Eydie Gorme-publicity.jpg has no indication that the back was copyright notice free (some publicity stills have the notice on the back, although not all)
- Done. TBran dl ey 00:27, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
File:Awake S01E08.jpg - We don't need an image to visualise a man nude.
- Done. TBran dl ey 00:29, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Otherwise okay. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:10, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Prose comments from Crisco 1492

2.80 million or 2.8 million? Why the extra 0?
- Done. TBran dl ey 00:30, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Why the Easter egg at 18 and 49? Just state Nielsen ratings
- Done. TBran dl ey 00:31, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Perhaps indicate a transition from series overview to episode plot.
- Sorry; not really sure. I'm not really sure how I would do that. Any way? Thanks, TBran dl ey 00:32, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  - Something like "In this episode" or "In "Nightswimming"" — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:39, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    - Done. TBran dl ey 00:40, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
      - Sorry, I meant in the lede. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 01:34, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
        Ooh, okay, sure. Done. TBran dl ey 01:38, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
eight guest performances or eight guest actors?
- Done. TBran dl ey 00:34, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
items for Goodwill due to Oregon. - I'm not understanding this.
- Done. TBran dl ey 00:36, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"but do not find the person whom they would like to interview, Greg, about the whereabouts of Alina." - This reads a little awkward. Perhaps "but do not find Greg, the person whom they would like to question regarding Alina's whereabouts."
- Done. TBran dl ey 00:37, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"Afterward, they speak to Greg," - When did he come in?
- Done. TBran dl ey 00:39, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"As they leave, however, Hollander, who is tied up, kicks down a table in the living room, notifying the cops that he is in there." - That's a lot of commas. Any way to simplify it?
- Done. TBran dl ey 00:44, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
The bit about Jeffrey Reiner has too many clauses and needs to be simplified.
- Done. TBran dl ey 00:47, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  - It can't be "further installments" if those two were finished first. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 01:34, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    - Okay; sorry. Done. TBran dl ey 01:38, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"This entry was rated TV-14 in the United States during its original broadcast on television." - This feels like it comes out of nowhere, considering how you spent the last 6 sentences talking about the crew. This and the sentences that follow may be better as their own paragraph
- Done. TBran dl ey 00:49, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"The installment was filmed in Los Angeles, California, as were all other Awake episodes, which is where Awake is also set in." - Perhaps "The installment was filmed and set in Los Angeles, California, as were all other Awake episodes."
- Done. TBran dl ey 00:50, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"Contrasting with Sepinwall's opinion, Handlen thought that if the arcs of the "red reality" were not included in this installment, it would not work as an episode." - How's this contrasting? Sepinwall and and Handlen are saying the same thing, but Handlen is using a double negative.
- Done. TBran dl ey 00:53, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"gave "little mistakes"," - Gave or made?
- Done. TBran dl ey 00:54, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I did a copyedit, be sure to double check.

Thanks for the review, and copy-edit! I did check, looks good. :) I have addressed all of your concerns above. How's the article looking now? TBran dl ey 00:55, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Have addressed your next points. Cheers, TBran dl ey 01:54, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

— Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:35, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Gen. Quon's Addressed Comments

Comments Only a few comments:
- Would it be a good idea to cite the production number?
  - It is cited. See the production section.
- I don't think websites are supposed to be italicized in the references (Ref 19 is an example). It think it should either be Deadline.com or Deadline.
  - "Deadline.com" is the name, and it's a magazine. So, I think it should be fine. TBran dl ey 19:00, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- For the BARB site, you might want to the note section small, like what I did with "Triangle (The X-Files)". That's just an idea, not really a huge issues.
  - It was small, but I made it larger per MOS:ACCESS. TBran dl ey 19:00, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- That's all I can really find upon my sweep. Great article!--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:55, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  - Thanks for the review! I have addressed/replied above. TBran dl ey 19:00, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]