Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Gender Bender (The X-Files)/archive1

Prose comments

"sexually-oriented murders" - Worried this may be read sexual orientation. Another word, perhaps? "Murders after sexual encounters", or...?
Considered "motivated" but there's no sexual motive, so I just went with your suggestion there. GRAPPLE X 02:33, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"the village inhabited by the Kindred" - The Kindred are...?
Re-used the "Amish-type community" phrase here instead of mentioning them by name. GRAPPLE X 02:33, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"When Brother Aaron, a sick participant at the table, is denied medical attention from Scully, Brother Andrew states that the Kindred take care of their own." - "When the Kindred refuse to allow Scully to treat Brother Aaron, a sick participant at the table, Brother Andrew states that the Kindred take care of their own." perhaps?
Fair enough. GRAPPLE X 02:33, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"Unable to resist, she is eventually rescued by Mulder." - And Mulder managed to find her...? And escape from his crevice how...?
He literally just walks into the room and takes her out, there's not a lot of showing going on here (you know, as I'm going through this, I'm really realising that this isn't as well-written an episode as some of the reviews might suggest). GRAPPLE X 02:33, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"Meanwhile, in another club a man convinces a girl to dance with him by touching her hand." - Is this Brother Martin (Twa) or another Kindred?
Yeah; though this is only implied in the episode, really. Shadowy scenes, mostly focussing on the hand-rubbing. I went with that wording to keep the same level of implication it seemed the episode used, but I could make the leap and specify that it's the Stebbings-Kindred. GRAPPLE X 02:33, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"suggesting that the Kindred are aliens." - Is this what those references are for?
For the whole plot (while I'm here, the infobox ref is for the whole guest cast). GRAPPLE X 02:33, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"Peter Stebbings was cast due to his similarity to actress Kate Twa;" - Just a comment, but Twa looks to be half Stebbings age...
The picture used isn't contemporary to the article, it's just the only free one I had to hand. Stebbings would have been younger than me when that was actually shot (fuck my life), 22/23 roughly. Twa, although I can't pinpoint an age reliably, appears to be about that age as her IMDB page doesn't show any roles before 1994. (It's hard to get a good look at her in this episode but if you saw her in Soft Light (The X-Files) you'd get a better-lit look at her. I don't really know where I'm going with this. GRAPPLE X 02:33, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
""wanted an episode with more of a sexy edge, but it was difficult to find a story that shows sex as scary. As a result, it kind of veered off to, What if there are people like the Amish who are from another planet?"." - Perhaps trim, "wanted an episode with "more of a sexy edge" but had difficulty portraying the act as scary; the producers then took the concept "What if there are people like the Amish who are from another planet?"
Rejiggered a bit, how's it look now? GRAPPLE X 02:33, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"the removal of a scene where someone's crotch rots away to address concerns with the content of the episode." - Gurk (no action required)
Gurk indeed. GRAPPLE X 02:33, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
The chants uttered by the Kindred - English?
Murmur-ish if I recall correctly. Let me double check that one. GRAPPLE X 02:33, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"Bowman found the episode a difficult one to work on—the script had initially called for lantern light for illuminate several scenes, which was found to be unworkable; while an interior set constructed to represent the catacombs under the Kindred's barn was so encumbering to film in that a second unit crew were required to reshoot a large degree of camera coverage with Duchovny over an extra day." - Rather unwieldy sentence. Perhaps split into two or three?
Split into two. GRAPPLE X 02:33, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
A little heavy on the quotes in the theme section
Hmm. I am terrible at this. Truncated some, lost others. GRAPPLE X 02:33, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Looks better, but Gonzales' bit has not been tied in with this episode. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 12:03, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Oops, you're right. Reworded a bit now. GRAPPLE X 14:38, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"science fiction depictions of aliens or outsiders with a "potent" touch," - No mention of Star Trek: The Motion Picture and its character Ilia, a "sexually mature" Deltan?
No results in the source for "Ilia star trek" (not actually in quotes in search) at all. [1]. (Plus you're talking Greek to me, all I know is that A Man Called Hawk flew a spaceship). GRAPPLE X 02:33, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
You'd think he'd just call himself Hawk... Alright. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 12:03, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Huge quote in broadcast section may need trimming / paraphrasing
The Wong quote in paragraph two? Trimmed. GRAPPLE X 02:33, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Several {{cn}} tags.
Got them. GRAPPLE X 02:33, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Fairly solid, if short. Not sure if you need the subheaders in #production" — Crisco 1492 (talk) 01:42, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for such a quick response. I'll defer the use of subheaders to a third opinion; I could lose them without any loss of sleep over it ("Episode 2" doesn't use them) but since the material is already structured that way it seems logical to me to retain them. GRAPPLE X 02:33, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I agree with Crisco here; no vital point for separate headers if they're just separating single paragraphs and all cover similar topics. Bruce Campbell (talk) 03:49, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Fair enough; removed the headers but left the chronology in place. GRAPPLE X 14:38, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]