Wikipedia:Silly Things/BJAODN from What Wikipedia is not

This page is currently inactive and is retained for historical reference.
Either the page is no longer relevant or consensus on its purpose has become unclear. To revive discussion, seek broader input via a forum such as the village pump.

This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous.
Such material is not meant to be taken seriously.

This page in a nutshell: This version of What Wikipedia is not distances itself from the cognitive inhibitive orientation of its parent page.

Wikipedia is not a fortune cookie

"You will get squashed by a massive bird playing Wikipedia"

Wikipedia is not Michael Shumacher

see wikipedia is not The Stig

Wikipedia is not repetitive

Simple enough

Wikipedia is not the place to blow your teacher

Because they dont like you.

Wikipedia is not a brand of soda

And even if it was, nobody would buy it because it sucks (like Duncan).

Mountain Dew is better.

Wikipedia is not Kendrick Lamar

We won't disappear for 5 years.

Wikipedia is not a big truck

It's a SERIES of TUBES!

Wikipedia is not a urinal

Hey, you! Do that stuff over there, or there.

...but it is a public toilet.

Wikipedia is not a sock

I mean, does it smell bad? No! Then it's not a sock!

Wikipedia is not a graveyard

So don't put dead bodies in here.

Wikipedia is not behind you

So For the Love of God Don't Look. It's Your Mama there...

Wikipedia does not bite

Ow! ...Except, of course, if you want to bite the newbies.

Wikipedia is not Russian

In Soviet Russia, Wikipedia article edits YOU!

Wikipedia is not a place to get drunk

Awwww, man. That's no fair.... but it's okay if we're drunk already, right?

Wikipedia is not a swimming pool

Cannonball!!!! Aww, crap! I broke my computer. hehehe

Wikipedia is not your great aunt Agnes

Thank God!

Wikipedia is not a place to boost one's ego

Perhaps this one should be officially added, now that the edit count tools are whack, and considering that the vast majority of editors are non-notable individuals.

Wikipedia is not a sexual lubricant

No explanation needed.

But knowing some of the stuff here could theoretically get you laid.

Wikipedia is not just for Christmas

It is for life. Don't let the kids sit on it or pull it by the tail.

Wikipedia is not a giant, blue and green striped, pink and purple polkadotted, odorous, pizza-covered, telephone-eating, lederhosen-wearing, Republican, bloodstained homicidal soda-sippin' piece of shit maniac named Bob

This follows from the fact that Wikipedia is not Republican.

Wikipedia is not a spoon

But you can still eat soup with it, although it might be wise to invest in a new computer. Also, Wikipedia is there, as opposed to the spoon.

Wikipedia is not a duck

Being an encyclopedia, it could not possibly look, swim, or quack like a duck.

Now that's just despicable!

Wikipedia is not a place for an argument

Yes it is. No it isn't. Yes it is. No it isn't.

That's not an argument, that's just a contradiction!

No it's not.

Yes it is. An argument is an intellectual process, intended to establish a proposition. That's not just saying, "No it isn't".

Yes it isnt.

No, it isn't.

Look -- if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.

DUNCAN <dead argument sketch continues in random order ad infinitum>

Wikipedia is not a window shade

You can't use it to darken your house. Well, you could print out articles and use those, but Wikipedia itself is not a shade. Don't even think about it.

Put down the pull cord and step away from the glass.

Wikipedia is not on the internet

Usefulness? On *my* INTERNET?!

NB: It's more likely than you think!

Wikipedia is not eadable

If you want to want to eat crap, go eat the real stuff, not the virtual stuff.

Wikipedia is not spell checked

Edible.

Wikipedia is not an online encyclopedia that comes in many languages and can be edited by users

Oh, wait. It is. Never mind.

Wikipedia is not ON WHEELS!!

Anymore, that is. Now that Willy on Wheels is gone.

Oh, no I'm not!--Willy on Wheels (ON WHEELS!)

Wikipedia is not a flotation device

In the event that someone is drowning, do not throw Wikipedia to him/her. This will only make matters worse (see electrocution).

Wikipedia's Javascript doesn't mean be hyper

Perk!Perk!What?Blah!Let'splay!PLAYPLAYPLAY!*thud-snoooooooore*

Wikipedia is not.

It just is not. It was, but that didn't work so well.

Wikipedia is snot.

Wait..

Wikipedia is not my beautiful house

Nor is it my beautiful wife.

Wikipedia is not the call of the Seventh Trumpet of the End Times

It does, however, hang out with war, famine, death, and pestilence.

Wikipedia is not the Governor of California

Hasta la vista, one-liners!

Wikipedia is not gay

Despite the assertion of many a vandal, Wikipedia is not gay. He is in fact going out with google.com. I heard he got her pregnant!

"Not that there's anything wrong with that."

Well, I don't know about ^him, but I heard they broke up.

THEY WERE ON A BREAK!

Wikipedia is not in the process of sucking

Depending on what your reply is, you could suffer... *cocks shotgun* Any Questions?

Wikipedia is not also in the process of blowing

Do note that although this is the alternative of sucking, you should think accordingly as to whether it does or does not blow. *waves shotgun*

Wikipedia is not the wind in Vietnam

See two previous entries. Also, it won't love you long time.

Wikipedia is not the place for non sequiturs

The sky is blue.

Wikipedia is not my shotgun

It isn't really possible to blast your enemies in the face with Wikipedia, although additional cardiovascular damage may occur as a result, making it roughly as dangerous.

Wikipedia is not a game

Too many people think it is.

Wikipedia is not a carrot

Wikipedia is also not Britannica, ~~nor is it a radish~~.^[1]

Wikipedia is not original research.

Wikipedia is not a GameShark

You can't use Wikipedia to make your life as easy as breathing. It leads to serious problems.

Wikipedia is not deodorant

Yup.....what were you expecting something funny? Well your not gunna get it cuz it really isn't deodorant.

Wikipedia is not a banana

Don't throw it on the floor and let people fall on it.

Wikipedia is not any kind of fruit or vegetable

It is a website. Well duhhhhh!!

Wikipedia is not The Matrix

Although it is an alternate reality of sorts.

Wikipedia will not help you lose weight

That's why dieting and/or exercise were created.

Wikipedia is not a pipe

Or, as the French would say, Wikipédia n'est pas une pipe.

Wikipedia is not sold in stores

So call now! The next fifty callers receive a free Wiktionary! Sorry, no CODs

Wikipedia is not gonna take it

no, it ain't gonna take it, Wikipedia's not gonna take it, anymore

Wikipedia is not a member of The Solar Federation.

But thanks for letting us know you have assumed control

Wikipedia is not a scientologist

Not since that arbcom ruling.

But it is a cult.

Wikipedia is not blasphemy and/or madness

THIS... IS... WIKIPEDIA!!

No, Wikipedia is not the rule of double negation

No, no, it is not.

Wikipedia is not AAAAAAAAA

It's not BBBBBBBBBB, Meow, Woof or YYYYYYYYY either.

Wikipedia is not yo mama

If Wikipedia tells you to do something, you don't necessarily have to do it. Now clean your room!

Wikipedia is not The Flying Spaghetti Monster

Please don't get your friends to worship it, please.

Wikipedia is not radioactive

Okay? It's safe. Just take off that damn protection suit, it smells like your ugly face!

Wikipedia is not Cyndi Lauper's house

No girl should just wanna have fun here. This is serious business!

Wikipedia is not The Price is Right

Come on down all you want, but you aren't winning a new car anytime soon.

Wikipedia is not Jeopardy!

I'll take "Wikipedia" for $200.

Wikipedia is not Wheel of Fortune

It isn't a place for buying any vowels, either.

Wikipedia is not supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

You can say that backwards. Or is that going too far?

Wikipedia is not the Paris Hilton Fanclub

Go to Jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

Wikipedia is not a maid

Pick that up!

Wikipedia is not KAT-TUN

So take your kawaii's and kakkoii's elsewhere fangirls. D:<

Wikipedia is not suitable for vegetarians

It also isn't suitable for people with nut allergies.

Wikipedia is not The Weakest Link

You are, goodbye.

Wikipedia is not Final Fantasy X

There is no pilgrimage to becoming the high administrator, no maestor Wales to overthrow, no aeonpuppets to summon, and no overdrive edits to perform. The dead do not become fiends. No Wikiknights are battling Sin. You can't increase your power by negotiating the edit grid.

And on a further note, Wikipedia is not Final Fantasy XI

Wikipedia is not a Big Brother contestant

So you can't nominate it for eviction. But you can nominate the stupid contestant's pages for deletion. Or be bold and redirect them to the article of the Big Brother season they appeared. Unless of course they have been all over the news for saving baby seals, or they happen to be best friends with Paris Hilton, or written a best seller, or did the nasty with Richard Hatch. Other than those things, there is no reason to have individal articles on Big Brother contestants just for being on/or winning the show! Get a life.

Wikipedia is not a phone-in competition

But, if it was, they'd either be won by someone who works for Wikipedia^[2] or have already chosen the winner before closing the lines^[3].

It also follows that they'll also rig phone-in polls as well^[4], or charge more than they should for those votes^[5].

Besides, if it was a phone-in competition, the winner will be someone who works behind the scenes, without the host's knowledge^[6]. Either that, or say the show with less votes is the winner^[7] and be fined less than they made^[8].

Wikipedia is not a Salmon

Because it had to be done.

Wikipedia is not a place for putting long funny lists

So what is this then?

Wikipedia is not an Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini

it's not a catchy song either.

Wikipedia can't save Koridai

It is written: Only Link can defeat Ganon.

Wikipedia is not Burger King

You can't always have it your way here, sorry.

Wikipedia is not The Borg

You won't be assimilated. Just your knowledge. You can go on about your business. Move along.

Wikipedia is not Donkey Kong

It will not throw barrels.

Wikipedia is not Jay-Z

Wikipedia has 99 bitches and ain't a problem with one^[9]

Wikipedia does not look good on the dancefloor

Anyway, that's Alex Turner out of the Arctic Monkeys' job.

Wikipedia is not a purple monkey dishwasher

Nor is it a cheese-eating surrender monkey.

Wikipedia is not My Chemical Romance

WHEN IT WASNT!

Wikipedia is not not4chan

MOAR SAUCE

Wikipedia is not old copypasta is old

Wikipedia is not your bitch

YOU WISH!

Wikipedia is not the place to look for the meaning of life

That's on Wiktionary

Wikipedia is not Slashdot, Gizmodo, Engadget, MySpace, Digg, YouTube, Fark, or Reddit

Seriously

Wikipedia is not fo' urban languages

So get ya shitty pants o' ma articlez, or y'ain't be breathin' anymo'. Come o', man, ya heard me, get t'hell outta ma encyclopediah.

Wikipedia is not the place to swear

While Wikipedia is not censored, there is no fucking need to swear for no fucking reason.

Wikipedia is not claustrophobic

Not funny!

pikiWedia is Dot Nyslexic

pikiWedia is also not a space for ploonerisms, mo natter fow hunny they are. Seliousry. me Wean it. Necause there are bumerous editors tomitted co vinding thilly sings in articles and theverting rem, you won't wet agay with it.

Wikipedia is not an organ donor

We're so selfish

Wikipedia is not for figuring out the tattoo on your girlfriend's ass

Even if it refers to a minor river in Romania.

Wikipedia is not even supposed to be here today!

My girlfriend's orally pleasured 37 men...no, not in a row! DodgerOfZion (talk) 07:21, 1 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Wikipedia is not from New Jersey

So don't ask which exit. DodgerOfZion (talk) 07:21, 1 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Wikipedia does not own itself

Neither has it been on fire since 1962.

Wikepedea is nut the plaice two miss speel wurds

allwas ooze a spilling chequer too macke shure that ewe speel you're sentuncas corectally.

Wikipedia is not a Communist

It may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but it is not a porn star!

Wkpd ds nt lk vwls

Whch s why ths sntnc s Whch s why ths sntnc s wrttn wtht n.

Wikipedia is not repetitive

Simple enough

Wikipedia isn't not able to say Candlejack

Seriously.

Wikipedia is not a Brazilian timetraveller

We don't know what it refers to, either.

Wikipedia did not kill Kenny

So it is not a bastard.

Wikipedia did not kill Kennedy

After all, it was you and me.

Wikipedia did not shoot J.R.

In spite of what was revealed, we all know that little John Ross did it.^{[original research?]}

Wikipedia is not suicide

Indeed, it's not always painless. Although it does bring home many changes...

Wikipedia is definitely not Stonkers

As ZX Spectrum fans know, nothing ever is. Not even stonkers.

Wikipedia is not a repository for fish puns

Cod knows, there's no plaice for such nonsense these dace.

I don't wish to carp, but no self-respecting Wikipedian would bream of writing such pollocks in any case.

Wikipedia is not The Game

But you just lost.

I did?! fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-----

damn it

Doesn't this make you win it though? http://xkcd.com/391/

Wikipedia is not Lolcats

It isn't in ur compootr edditn ur filez.

Wikipedia is not affected by ADHD

Wikipedia never loses its concentration or gets distracted in the middle of an -- oooh.... a butterfly....

Wikipedia is not a lumberjack

But It's OK, it sleeps all night and it works all day. It cuts down trees, it skips and jumps, it likes to press wildflowers. It puts on womens clothing and hangs around in bars.

Wikipedia is not The Stig

Wikipedia is not Perry McCarthy

Because he's The Stig

Wikipedia is not the Stig's Cousin

Wikipedia is not any of the following:

- The Stig's Southern American Cousin
- The Stig's Environmentalist Cousin
- The Stig's Communist Cousin
- The Stig's Vietnamese Cousin
- The Stig's Truck Driving Cousin (i.e. Big Rig Stig)
- The Stig's African Cousin
- The Stig's Technology Cousin ^{[dubious – discuss]}

Although: Some ^[who?] say that wikipedia and The Stig both have matching tramp stamps laugh track and that if put into a cage wrestling match, they would both win... All we know is its called The Stig and Wikipedia

Wikipedia is not Linkin Park

Wikipedia is not tired of being what you want it to be.

Wikipedia is not Mindless Self Indulgence

Wikipedia has never wrote a gay song.

Wikipedia is not suitable for persons of a nervous disposition

Nor, in all likelihood, anyone else. :-)

Wikipedia is not asleep

or dead.

Wikipedia is not The End.

Dead follows it.

Wikipedia is not a chicken

Though it doesn't cross the road.

Wikipedia is not Last.fm

No one can see if you watched any mature articles.

Wikipedia is not real

Which, according to the modal realism of David Lewis... Can't touch this!

Wikipedia is not a Pokemon

So put away that pokeball! (Piplup!)

Wikipedia is not a Mettaur

Don't even think of charging that megabuster!

Wikipedia does not see dead people!

Here's Wiki!

Wikipedia is not a FALCON PUNCH!

Or else you wouldn't be able to read this.

Wikipedia is not a place to insult others for making really tiny mistakes

But if you look 4 sections higher, you'll see that someone forgot the accent on Pokémon. That guy was probably fucking its mother while making that.

Wikipedia is not a place to insult back people who are paranoid about small mistakes

Look above this section and you'll see a cock mongler who's mother is also his aunt (don't get mad, get even).

Wikipedia editors are not Cybermen

Allthough there are editors whose battlecry is DELETE!

Wikipedia is not a Dalek

So it will not ex-ter-min-ate you."DEELEETEE!"

nor is it a cyberman

Wikipedia is not The Master

But you will obey it. YOU WILL OBEY IT.

Wikipedia is not a stone

It's a football! I chiseled it!

Wikipedia is not your father's Oldsmobile

This is the new generation of Wiki.

Wikipedia is not a beautiful and unique snowflake.

Wikipedia is the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and is all part of the same compost pile.

Wikipedia is not Mama Luigi!

That's Mama Wiki to you, reader!

Wikipedia is not a cup of Coffee

Starbucks is better anyways.

Wikipedia is not GLaDOS

So it will not promise cake.

Wikipedia is not a wiki

Oh, wait, yes it is. Sorry, my mistake. While it turns out there're many, many wiki wiki, and that WikiMedia is subject to swinging, still, I'm married to my articles.

Wikipedia is not ITV

Which means that you won't see adverts instead of articles^[10].

Wikipedia is not the place to forget

Umm... What was I going to write again?

Wikipedia is not a stranger to love

But it knows the rules. And so should you.
A full commitment by your edits is what we are thinking of
You wont get this from any other guy
We dont want to tell you how we are feeling (unless the server crashes, then we're all sad)
Got to make you understand that you cant vandalise wikipedia

Wikipedia is not a license to abuse the rules of language

Spellcheckers and such, hmmm. Apparently someone went through the trouble to create these tools, so why should it trouble me to take the time to learn how to use them effectively? Yeah, there are numerous editors combing through WP articles, willing to clean up our grammatical messes. But why test this diffusion of responsibility? Why not bring along my own pooper-scooper?

Wikipedia is not a pooper-scooper

Do I need explain?

Wikipedia is not Himeko Nonohara in Disguise

But then why is it beeping?

Wikipedia is not Immanuel Kant

What's the difference between the Great Unthinking Masses and a triangle? A triangle has three points.

A job as a comedian is on des cartes I think.

Wikipedia is not the droids you're looking for.

Move along.

Wikipedia is not the place for inane lists of meaningless crap

... then what the hell is this page here for?

Wikipedia is not Skynet

Though it may be self aware.

Wikipedia is not run by Chuck Norris

If it's not in the Chuck Norris facts, then it's not true.

Chuck Norris Fact number 38:Editors don't run Wikipedia. Chuck Norris runs Wikipedia. -unsigned post signed by Some vandal hat hates Wikipedia (talk)

Oh be quiet. -.-

Wikipedia is not Gordon Brown

Could be true but I reckon it's more like George Bush.

Wikipedia is not a Time Lord, nor is it Haruhi Suzumiya, Evangelion, or a Xanatos Gambit by Jimbo Wales

And that just bugs me!!!

Wikipedia is not just for breakfast anymore

Part of a balanced diet includes plenty of Wikipedia, so any time is the right time for Wikipedia!

Wikipedia is not a Kentrosaurus

but it is heavily revamping the page.

Wikipedia is not James Cameron

it did not make Avatar, and we have more originality.

Wikipedia is not Gordon Freeman

So don't expect it to kill headcrab zombies for you

Wikipedia is not a Mudkip

Nuf said.

Wikipedia does not make lotsa spaghetti!

It can only make toast at the moment.

Wikipedia doesn't host the Angry Video Game Nerd.

And its PUTRID ANAL SH*T COMING OUT OF A RHINOCEROS A**HOLE because of it.

but when the server crashes, we act like him

Wikipedia is not Giygas

But you still can't grasp the true form of Wikipedia's attack

Wikipedia is not a Dacentrurus

yeah, it's not,

Wikipedia is not a Gigantspinosaurus

um, yeah, it isn't

Wikipedia is not a Tuojiangosaurus

These stegosaur jokes are just getting old now!

Wikipedia is not Billy Mays

Although they did hang out a lot.

Wikipedia is not Blackout from the 2007 Transformers Movie

but it is nearly as cool as him

Wikipedia does not play The Spy

It plays the Heavy Weapons Guy

Wikipedia is not not not not not not not not a sandwich

What the heck?

Wikipedia is not an encyclopedia (part 2)

A proper encyclopedia wouldn't have FAKE STORIES in it.

Wikipedia is not the NFL

So it doesn't claim that whoever wins it is "The World Champion" when all the entrants are from one country.

Wikipedia will never ever ever ever ever write a song about the Sibbie

Wikipedia freakin' hates the Sibbie!

Wikipedia is not a bakery

Because we all know that the CAKE IS A LIE!!!!!!!

Wikipedia is not a birth-control aid

Enough said.

Wikipedia is not Antisocial

But it does speak several foreign languages.

Wikipedia ain't fer ken-tract-shuns

Ner is it fer back-wuds di'lect!

Wikipedia is not The Greased-Up Deaf Guy

So stop chasing it!

Wikipedia is not a Spandvut

The word doesn't even exist anyway.

Wikipedia is not Buzz Lightyear

But it does go to infinity and beyond.

Wikipedia is not Paris Hilton

So don't hunt it down trying to assassinate it.

Wikipedia is not Leia's Metal Bikini

And it knows that there are people out there who wish it was.

Wikipedia is not a Seal

It's not a sea dwelling mammal either.

Wikipedia is also not Seal. However, it will never survive unless we get a little crazy.

Wikipedia is not George Orwell

Neither was it created in 1984.

Wikipedia is not Jurassic Park

There aren't dinosaurs in here, oh wait!

Wikipedia is not a Vandal

It dosen't mess itself up.

Wikipedia is not a Giant enemy crab

As such, it does not have real-time weapon change, and you cannot attack its weak point for massive damage.

Wikipedia is not Ridge Racer

See previous entry.

Wikipedia is not the lead singer of A-ha

It ain't gonna drag you behind the milk rack and make you dance.

Wikipedia is not your GameBoy

Anyone get the reference? Anyone?

Wikipedia is not a sperm bank

So shake it somewhere else.

Wikipedia is not responsible for the loss of any valuables

So please make sure you keep them safe

Wikipedia is not Metallica

Wikipedia is not off to Never-Never Land.

Wikipedia is not the Walrus

However, it is the eggman. Goo Goo G'joob

Wikipedia is not Nazi Germany

All evidence to the contrary.

Wikipedia is not Modern Warfare 2

So it doesn't have ridiculously underpowered weapons, broken ironsights, failed experiments or campers.

Wikipedia is not Halo: Reach

There was no public beta.

Wikipedia is not the Soviet Union

Again, all evidence to the contrary.

Wikipedia is not a Cow

No explanation.

Wikipedia is not Peter The Great

Nor did he banish his sister, Wiktionary.

Wikipedia is not a place for unproved rumors

Snopes is.

Wikipedia does not like fishsticks

So it is not a gay fish

Wikipedia is not Battlefield: Bad Company 2

But it does have awesome weapons, destructible scenery, more awesome weapons and awesome vehicles.

Wikipedia is not That Guy With The Glasses

So it doesn't have Comic book reviewing sleuths with magic guns, A guy with glasses who hates bat credit cards, Spoony bards, or general insanity

Wikipedia is not Roadside Picnic

So there are no subplots.

Wikipedia is not a Walrus

However, it is Eggman. wait, wasn't this done before?

Wikipedia is not a video camera

so don't jam it up your nose and say "i'm so scared!".

Wikipedia is not Banjo-Kazooie

but there still are bears and red birds.

Wikipedia is not using lots of sockpuppets

not anymore at least.

Wikipedia did not hit her!

It's not true! It's bullshit! Wikipedia did not hit her! It did not.

Oh, hi Mark.

Wikipedia is not good, it's just a chicken, chip chip chip.

But you probably should keep your stupid comments in your pocket.

Wikipedia is not Wol

Don't you mean Owl?

Wikipedia is not the 256th entry on this page

This entry is on a page that is on Wikipedia (now I'm confused).

Wikipedia is not the ruler of the world

Not yet.

Wikipedia is not Spock.

SPOOOOCK! SPOOOOOOCK!

Wikipedia is not the place to look for Emma Watson's Phone number

For real! People have asked!

Wikipedia is not a guitar

but if it was it would be tuned in drop-D

Wikipedia is not a Neo-Nazi escort service

Acoording to Fetchcomms and yes, someone tried to use it that way

Wikipedia is not a toy

So it won't help destroy the Elder Race of Man.

You probably thought Wikipedia was alive.

Nope. It's not. It's dead. It's been taxidermized by Chuck Testa.

Wikipedia is not Dwarf Fortress

So no killing elves, no magma traps, no Giant Cave Spiders, no violating laws of physics, no-
A section of the cavern has collapsed!
Urist McAnon, Contributor has been crushed under falling rock.