Wikipedia:Peer review/Gao Qifeng/archive1
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I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to take this article to FAC, and I'm quite a bit rusty. If anyone is familiar with this era in Chinese history, or can tweak the translations, I would also appreciate that.
Thanks, — Chris Woodrich (talk) 23:05, 1 October 2024 (UTC)
- SC
I'm neither familiar with any era of Chinese history, nor able to help with translations, but:
- honourary is more normally spelled as honorary
- Oh, interesting. Done. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 16:05, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- "Boxiang died when Gao in 1895": something's gone a bit awry there
- My brain fart when I got the new source. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 16:05, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- "with Fei Pu Sketching on his seal": I think you may need to explain this a little
- Done. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 16:05, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- "nihonga artists": Maybe a brief (one-line) explanation of what nihonga is
- Done. I may add a footnote noting that Jianfu simultaneously joined two organizations, one for the hybrid nihonga and one for more realist painters. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 20:24, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- "Teaching art, Gao believed, would allow the transmission of better understandings of ethics and social conditions" could be slightly improved slightly as: "Teaching art, Gao believed, would allow the transmission of a better understanding of ethics and social conditions".
- Done. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 16:13, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- "2,000 yuan (equivalent to ¥126,000,000 in 2019)": £13.5 million for expenses??!
- Hmm.... something's not right; comparing with some historical data, that should only be about US$14k. Let me see if there's something wrong with the template. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 09:12, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- Okay, so the template doesn't accommodate redenominations, and according to History of Chinese currency there were two sizable redominations due to the hyperinflation of the 1940s. I'll try and brainstorm something. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 09:19, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- Alright, got it. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 10:23, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- There are a couple of points where you could use "he" instead of "Gao"
- Done. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 16:13, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
Done down to the end of his biography: I'll do the other half shortly. - SchroCat (talk) 08:35, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- ps. I've added this review to Template:FAC peer review sidebar, which is a useful little place to flag up future FAC articles - I've got a copy on my talk page, and it's good to pick up on any interesting ones that come up. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 09:20, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- "creating a new "national painting" suited": As this stands, it reads as if they are going to paint a picture for the nation. Would " creating a new "national painting" style suited" be better?
- Done. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 16:05, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- Relationship with Zhang Kunyi: are there any dates we can put to this? (As it's just after his wife leaving him, there are obvious questions that arise, and a date may clarify matters)
- I'm only seeing that the dedications were the late 1920s, and then her moving in with him would have been 1929/1930. Our article on her has the uncited claim that she started to learn from him when she was thirteen, which a) I haven't found anything supporting this claim, and b) he would have been been painting lampshades at that point, and definitely not a virtuoso attracting students. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 17:15, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- "several paintings to Zhang" 'to her' would work here
- Done. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 16:05, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- "Gao Qifeng had many similarities with Gao Jianfu and Chen Shuren": I think you need to clarify where the similarities are – I presume painting style, but it's not clear
- I've added a bit, as well as another line to highlight their differences. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 20:24, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- "However, they also had": "However" should only be at the beginning of a sentence rarely and never at the start of a paragraph
- I've removed two, and moved one to a dependent clause after the subject of another sentence. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 17:15, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- US$993, USD 511 and USD 159 – you need to make consistent whether symbol or letter is used, and whether to have a space or not
- Done. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 16:05, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- "Gao favoured vigorous yet delicate brushwork": I think that as there is opinion in there, we need to say whose it is
- Done. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 16:05, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
That's my lot. Ping me when you go to FAC and I'll go over it again and see what else I can pick up. Cheers – SchroCat (talk) 13:11, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- Thanks muchly. I got most of these, though for ones that I have to consult the sources it'll take a little bit. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 16:05, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- Thank you, SchroCat. I think the article looks quite a bit better now! — Chris Woodrich (talk) 20:24, 3 October 2024 (UTC)