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Wikipedia:Peer review/Elon Ganor/archive1

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because Elon Ganor is a friend of mine so I would like feedback to make sure it meets wikipedia's standards.

Thanks, Jeffpulver (talk) 21:02, 16 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

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-(tJosve05a (c) 23:10, 22 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from LT910001

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Thanks for your edits to this article. It's very interesting to read. I have a few comments that you may take or leave at your behest:

  • Early life could be fleshed out a bit more
  • This article would benefit from a general copy-edit from a second pair of eyes. WP:ISRAEL or WP:COMPANIES may have a willing participant for this.
  • A source is missing for the early life section.
  • This article contains a lot of bracketed content, which is impacting on readability. If content is notable enough, it should be included in prose - if not, then deleted or put in as a footnote.
  • This article is an orphan article, so consider finding another appropriate article and linking to the page from there.

I wish you well on your wiki-travels, and hope this advice is useful (although it is mostly stylistic in nature). Kind regards, --LT910001 (talk) 13:33, 10 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]