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Chris Redfield

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Hi there! I want to improve this article further (particularly the reception section and some parts of concept and design section for it to be fleshed out more), and might nominate it for FAC soon. Thanks! 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 08:36, 24 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Crisco 1492

[edit]
  • Vowing to never let any tragedies like Raccoon City happen again, Chris becomes a founding member of the United Nations' Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance (BSAA). - This is like the fourth sentence in the article. Most readers aren't going to know what happened in Raccoon City.
Reworded.
  • Some critics have referred to a scene of Chris punching a boulder in Resident Evil 5 (2009) as one of the most memorable within the Resident Evil series, which was also subjected to Internet memes. - May I just say that I love that that's in the lead? Also, I think internet is lower case.
Yeah, this seems to be important as an iconic character to his boulder-punching moment. Uncapitalized
  • aim more precisely, - Really? Is this to paraphrase his higher critical hit rate? I was under the impression that it was because his default pistol has different specs than Jill's. Tank controls didn't really lend themselves to aiming.
Removed it
  • His increased muscle mass was to show that he had trained heavily in order to fight the series' powerful villain, Albert Wesker, bare-handed - Was it specifically to fight Wesker? He didn't seem to be expecting him in the game. Also, what about Code Veronica? Any sources covering his appearance there?
I think he was expecting him due to Lost in Nightmares (which it takes place before the mission, RE5), where he thought also in the actual game that Jill literally died after falling with Wesker at window. Meanwhile, in Code: Veronica, I don't see any info about him sadly.
  • Resident Evil 5's producer Jun Takeuchi said that the series' fans "would really love" a video game featuring both Leon S. Kennedy and Chris as the protagonists due to their popularity, and at the same time, it would be "pretty dramatic" if the two characters never met before the series would end; this eventually occurred in Resident Evil 6 (2012). - The way "this eventually occurred" is phrased, it reads like it could be that they never met. Should be clarified.
Reworded
  • According to the director of Resident Evil Village DLC, Kento Kinoshita, the production team behind the horror sequel initially had a completely different plan in mind. "At the time of the project," he says, referencing the DLC's early days of planning, "there were some ideas that focused on Chris. But we wanted to focus on Rose Winters," disclosing that the crew had a preference for a DLC that starred Rose as the main character rather than having Chris rejoin the action. - Doesn't really speak to concept and design. Also, this could be reworded to read more easily, rather than focus on quotes.
Reworded
I think it would be fine since Jill Valentine's multiple FACs didn't bother it.
  • Set five months later, Resident Evil - Code: Veronica - After 1 or 2?
After the events of 2.
  • Chris is the protagonist of the game and one of the founding members of the UN paramilitary group Bio-terrorism Security Assessment Alliance (BSAA). - You mentioned his role in the previous paragraph. I'd pare this to "Chris is the protagonist, sent to Africa by the BSAA." Or even combined with the next sentence.... actually, that whole paragraph is choppy.
Reworded, I'm not sure if this is fine tbh. That whole paragraph was copied at Jill's article and I reworded it a bit.
  • Resident Evil 6 (2012) sees Chris return as one of the four protagonists alongside Leon, Ada Wong, and Jake Muller, the illegitimate son of Albert Wesker. - I don't think this is really a fair summary, but if that's what the source says...
Removed
  • Chris appears in the reboot film Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021). - Maybe mention the actor?
Done
  • Some critics have suggested that Chris may use steroids due to his hypermasculinity. - Definitely not worth the second sentence in this section.
Removed
  • Chris' characterization has also been praised by gaming journalists. - The next sentence is a popularity poll, which doesn't fall under "characterization".
Removed

Aoba47

[edit]
  • I would remove the novelizations link as I think that it could be potentially misleading. When I first look at this link, I think that it will take me to an article on the Resident Evil novelizations, not a more general article on novelization. I would think that most readers are familiar with this concept so I am not sure the link is necessary or worth the potential confusion, but that is just my opinion.
    Removed 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 08:31, 8 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • The infobox image should have some form of ALT text. I would also make sure that the other images have ALT text.
Done 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 13:29, 9 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • The WP:FUR is incomplete for the infobox image. By that, I mean that there should not be any parameters with "n.a.".
Done 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 13:29, 9 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • I have two comments for this quote, "the same general direction,". In situations like this, the punctuation should be put on the outside of the quotation mark. Punctuation is only include inside the quotation marks when quoting a complete sentence or obviously when the comma or other marks appear in the middle of the quote. This is not a full sentence so the comma would go on the outside. That being said, I believe this quote should be paraphrased. It is not needed, as this information could be conveyed another way without losing anything, and the attribution is currently unclear in the prose so it is uncertain who is saying this.
Removed 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 13:03, 9 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • For this quote, "realistic structure.", the period should go on the outside of the quotation marks per what I have said above. I would double-check the article for any other instances of this. I would also more clearly attribute who is saying this quote.
Done 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 13:03, 9 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • I am not sure the "would really love" quote is necessary, and I think it could be paraphrased.
Replaced 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 13:03, 9 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Apologies in advance if this is obvious, but I was a bit confused by the paragraph in the "Concept and design" section that focused on the redesigns for Chris. The paragraph talks a lot about the changes without saying what these changes actually were. Do we have any information about that? For instance, what do they mean by a "more realistic look" in this context? It just seems unclear to me.
Attempted changes 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 12:50, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • For this part, (the production team behind the horror sequel), I would just say "the production team" as the "behind the horror sequel" bit reads awkwardly to me as a way to avoid repeating the Resident Evil Village title. Based on the context of the sentence, I believe the intended meaning would be obvious without this so it can be safely removed.
Done 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 13:29, 9 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think that the part on the Resident Evil Village DLC in the "Concept and design" section could be revised to be clearer. It reads like it assumes the reader already knows about the basic idea for this DLC, and I would avoid that. I think this information could be more clearly defined for readers who do not know anything about the DLC.
Attempted changes 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 12:50, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Were there any reviews for the actors's performances in Resident Evil: Afterlife or Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City?
    Probably not, only a tad bit of info about their role (not a reception). 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 08:31, 8 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
    I had a feeling that would be the case. It does not seem like these films really got any in-depth reviews, at least not any from video game critics, so there is not a lot of actual coverage or reviews on the adaptation of the video game characters for the films. It is a shame, but to be fair, the focus for the films was always more on Alice over everything and everyone else. Aoba47 (talk) 02:56, 10 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
    True. And yet, Alice doesn't have article yet and she is just barely notable. 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 12:29, 10 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
    I would actually disagree about the "barely notable" part. I have seen coverage on the character who had an article at one time, but it was turned to a redirect as it was in rough shape. Aoba47 (talk) 14:50, 10 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
    Fair enough. Anyway, I'm trying to work out the concept and design part. It is really tough, since its a bit obvious that the prose in that section isn't FA quality yet. 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 17:29, 10 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would use a different descriptor for Rebecca Chambers instead of "fellow survivor" as at the start of the series, the zombie outbreak had not yet happened on a large scale, and it would be relevant to mention that she is also a member of S.T.A.R.S.
    Replaced 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 08:31, 8 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • It may be helpful to provide context on the location of Rockfort Island. Something simple like "in the South Pacific Ocean would work.
    Done 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 08:31, 8 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would provide a descriptor for Alexia Ashford to give some context to unfamiliar readers on the identity of this person. I would do the same for Lucas Baker and Mother Miranda.
Added
  • What does "BOWs" mean in this context, "their use of BOWs as frontline soldiers"?
Reworded
  • I have two comments for this sentence: (GameSpy called his design in Resident Evil 5 "a cross between Colin Farrell and Hugh Jackman" in particular, and it became a source of controversy and was often ridiculed.) I do not see anything in the source to support the controversy and ridicule claims. On a more nitpick-y note, I would also say that the GameSpy author more so compared the design to these actors rather than saying it looked exactly like them. They said "look a little bit like a cross between Colin Farrell and Hugh Jackman" (italics added for emphasis), and I think the current wording pushes farther than the source.
    Replaced 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 08:31, 8 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think that the "Chris feels like a human" quote could be removed as it feels repetitive and that sentence is already rather quote-heavy. It could just be revised to say something along the lines of, (as a result of the game's design, he has been "given some depth".)
    Done 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 08:31, 8 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • It seems like a word is missing here: (Chris' has also been praised by gaming journalists.)
What's missing? apostrophe s? 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 13:14, 9 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The apostrophe is indicating that something specific about Chris is being praised: (Chris' what has also been praised by gaming journalists). There should be something after the apostrophe. If you are just talking about Chris in general, the apostrophe should not be there as it does not serve any purpose and is incorrect. Aoba47 (talk) 02:54, 10 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Looking at the other parts of this peer review, it looks like this part originally said, (Chris' characterization has also been praised by gaming journalists), and the apostrophe was not removed after "characterization" was taken out. Aoba47 (talk) 02:57, 10 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
My bad, I really apologize for this. I already removed it. 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 12:27, 10 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • For this part, (Sikh media and video game critic Veerender Singh Jubbal), why is it relevant to mention that he is Sikh? Looking at the source, this description seems to be taken directly from it, which is not great.
    Removed 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 08:31, 8 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would link quick time event as some readers, particularly those less than familiar with video games, will not know what this means.
This? [1] 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 13:05, 9 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
When I look at the article, quick time event was used as part of quote, but that has been subsquently removed. The prose should use "quick time event" to be more specific with what is actually talking about as scene is an Easter egg and would be confusing to readers unfamiliar with video games. Aoba47 (talk) 02:54, 10 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Oops sorry, done. 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 12:25, 10 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would be consistent on whether or not the citation titles use title case. It seems that there is a preference to use title case. To be honest, I was only made aware of this recently, and while it may be a pain to do, it is good to have consistency with citations.
Checked 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 12:50, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Citations with titles in a foreign language should be translated in English. I am referencing the biomovieJP tweet in particular, but I would encourage you to double-check all of the citations just to make sure.
Done 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 12:50, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would link Capcom in all of the citations for the game in the same way that the websites and publishers are linked in each citation.
Done 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 12:50, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I hope that these comments are helpful. Let me know if you have any questions. I will do a more thorough read-through of the article in the future. Best of luck with the peer review and the future FAC! Aoba47 (talk) 05:09, 8 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. I'll start working this one slowly. I'll ping you once I'm already done. I knew that there are a lot of problems at the concept and design section (It's really tough). Thanks a lot Aoba! 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 07:48, 8 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Aoba47 Done. Though, I'm not sure at concept and design section if the prose can be improved further. Thanks! 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 12:50, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for the ping and the response. I have done copy-edits to that section (here), but feel free to revert anything that you disagree with or if I have changed anything to the point that it no longer matches the sources. I think I will end my review here to let other editors contribute, but I will be more than happy to help out if or when this is brought through the FAC process. Best of luck with this, and I hope you have a great rest of your week! Aoba47 (talk) 15:52, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Same to you and many thanks Aoba again for the help! I'll ping once this have been brought to FAC. 🍕BP!🍕 (🔔) 21:46, 11 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
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