Wikipedia:Peer review/Cherry on Top (Bini song)/archive1
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I nominated on FA but it failed, I will nominate this on FA once have a peer review on this article. Thanks!
Thanks, Royiswariii Talk! 09:08, 19 December 2024 (UTC)
- Relayed
Hi, it's good to see some Bini songs getting some work done! Good job in successfully promoting this article to Good Article status. I believe there's still work to do to make this FA-worthy, but I have been looking at this article occasionally, and I do see great improvements.
Here are some things that I saw during a quick look. I don't know if I could do a full review, but these are the issues that caught my eye almost immediately:
- I suggest removing the citation for the song's genre in the infobox and instead moving it down to the "Composition and lyrics" section and including it in the prose, as it is generally not done in most articles because those should've been mentioned in the body anyway.
- The lyrics highlights the unique personality traits of a person, focusing on how these qualities make them irresistibly captivating and impossibe to get enough of. – Be careful of the words you are using. Some words could be dropped or rephrased here, like unique, irresistibly captivating, as they can be puffery (per WP:WTW). Also, impossibe is also misspelled.
- "Cherry on Top" entered Billboard Philippines' charts... → "Cherry on Top" entered Billboard Philippines's charts... – (per WP:'s)
- Remove any mention of "charts" from streaming platforms like Spotify and iTunes as "charts which rank material from a single vendor or network are generally unsuitable for inclusion in articles." (per WP:CHARTS)
- The arrangement of the subheadings should be: Background → Composition and lyrics → Promotion and release (I would rename this as "Release and promotion") → Critical reception → Commercial performance → Music video → Accolades → Credits and personnel → Charts → Notes → References
- There's a lot of information included in the article that can be perceived as trivial and miscellaneous, like for instance, The promotion also included a photoshoot clip with the caption, "All eyes on us! Our upcoming single 'Cherry on Top' is serving soon!", On August 7, the K-pop girl group Unis guested on a YouTube channel called "hello82", a platform dedicated to K-pop content. During their guest appearance,..., ...limited to the first 200 buyers only.... This could be dropped or paraphrased.
- On August 7, the K-pop girl group Unis guested on a YouTube channel called "hello82", a platform dedicated to K-pop content. During their guest appearance,... This feels trivial and feels out of place in the "Promotion and release" section.
- Make sure that whatever information you include in each paragraph, they are all related somehow. The last paragraph in the "Promotion and release" section delves into "Cherry on Top"-themed merchandise and suddenly mentions the performance of the song in a halftime show of an NBA game.
- "Release history" section can be removed since the song was only released in one format. Convert this into prose and include it in the "Promotion and release" section; take for example Pagtatag!#Release and promotion.
- The American bureau of the Philippine Daily Inquirer praised the music video for its depictions of Filipino cultural references despite its being aimed at international audiences. I think this should be moved to the "Music video" section, as it gives commentary to the song's MV, not to the song itself.
- Other sections of the article are very short, which is very unexpected for a well-known song of a high-profile pop group, giving me the impression that the article is not yet well-researched and comprehensive enough.
- Wherever possible, if other claims can be supported with other secondary reliable sources, such as Philippine Daily Inquirer, Manila Bulletin, Rappler, etc., please do so. ABS-CBN News is part of the parent company that Bini is being managed, which sometimes can present information with bias. Although, I am not ruling out the reliability of ABS-CBN News, what I'm just saying is to avoid such as much as possible (per WP:PSTS).
- Ref 19: PEP.ph → Philippine Entertainment Portal
In terms of citation formatting, please use either a title case or a sentence case. Choose one and use it consistently throughout the article (per Help:Citation_Style_1#Titles_and_chapters and WP:TITLECAPS). For instance:
- Ref 1: BINI, AGNEZ MO → Bini, Agnez Mo (per Help:Citation_Style_1#Titles_and_chapters)
- Ref 2: BINI → Bini (per Help:Citation_Style_1#Titles_and_chapters)
- Ref 17: Cherry On Top → Cherry on Top (per WP:TITLECAPS)
- Ref 20: GENTO → Gento (per Help:Citation_Style_1#Titles_and_chapters)
- Ref 36: ENHYPEN → Enhypen (per Help:Citation_Style_1#Titles_and_chapters)
- Ref 39: MYX → Myx (per Help:Citation_Style_1#Titles_and_chapters)
There's too many to mention, please do the same for the rest of the citations. Check the citations for Gento (song) for reference.
After a quick skim, I think the article still has a long way to meet the WP:FACRITERIA:
- a. Well-written: Some parts of the prose is not as engaging as others
- b. Comprehensive: The "Music video" and "Critical reception" could be expanded further
- d. Neutral: There are instances that unnecessary puffery words are used, which make the article biased in some way
- e. Compliant with Wikipedia's copyright policy: The copyvio report is at 45.4% (which is quite high), do check parts where you can paraphrase the information; avoid close-paraphrasing
- c. Consistent citations: The formatting of some citations could be improved
Hope these comments were helpful. Do message me if you need further assistance. – Relayed (t • c) 15:21, 19 December 2024 (UTC)
- @AstrooKai and Royiswariii: Pinging top contributors – Relayed (t • c) 15:24, 19 December 2024 (UTC)
- Hi Relayed! Its good to see you here reviewing this article. I'll try to address some of the mentioned issues here while Roy is away at the moment as I'm also preparing Pantropiko for GAN later this week. AstrooKai (Talk) 15:37, 19 December 2024 (UTC)
- Thank you for your review, Relayed!
- I will do this all tomorrow, however i have a question regarding on the lyrics, I couldn't find any sources regarding on lyric reviews on COT, they are just describing the lyrics and not specifically (e.g: chorus or on specific words). Could you help me what should I do? Royiswariii Talk! 15:40, 19 December 2024 (UTC)
On August 7, the K-pop girl group Unis guested on a YouTube channel called "hello82", a platform dedicated to K-pop content. During their guest appearance,...
- Where section appropriate to add this? Royiswariii Talk! 15:42, 19 December 2024 (UTC)
- It's better of on the Critical reception section, this part of the paragraph makes it more suitable for that section:
During their guest appearance, the group reacted to the music videos from Filipino artists, including Bini.
With emphasis on "the group reacted to". AstrooKai (Talk) 15:50, 19 December 2024 (UTC)
- It's better of on the Critical reception section, this part of the paragraph makes it more suitable for that section:
- Done on the following:
- Ref 19: PEP.ph → Philippine Entertainment Portal
- Ref 1: BINI, AGNEZ MO → Bini, Agnez Mo (per Help:Citation_Style_1#Titles_and_chapters)
- Ref 2: BINI → Bini (per Help:Citation_Style_1#Titles_and_chapters)
- Ref 17: Cherry On Top → Cherry on Top (per WP:TITLECAPS)
- Ref 20: GENTO → Gento (per Help:Citation_Style_1#Titles_and_chapters)
- Ref 36: ENHYPEN → Enhypen (per Help:Citation_Style_1#Titles_and_chapters)
- Ref 39: MYX → Myx (per Help:Citation_Style_1#Titles_and_chapters)
- See revisions 1263958030 and 1263958460. AstrooKai (Talk) 16:08, 19 December 2024 (UTC)
I suggest removing the citation for the song's genre in the infobox and instead moving it down to the "Composition and lyrics" section and including it in the prose, as it is generally not done in most articles because those should've been mentioned in the body anyway.
- Done.
The lyrics highlights the unique personality traits of a person, focusing on how these qualities make them irresistibly captivating and impossibe to get enough of. – Be careful of the words you are using. Some words could be dropped or rephrased here, like unique, irresistibly captivating, as they can be puffery (per WP:WTW). Also, impossibe is also misspelled.
- Done.
- "
Cherry on Top" entered Billboard Philippines' charts... → "Cherry on Top" entered Billboard Philippines's charts... – (per WP:'s)
- WP:'s states that
If a name ending in s or z would be difficult to pronounce with 's added (Jesus's teachings), consider rewording (the teachings of Jesus).
Wouldn't it be hard to pronounce "Philippines's"?
- WP:'s states that
Remove any mention of "charts" from streaming platforms like Spotify and iTunes as "charts which rank material from a single vendor or network are generally unsuitable for inclusion in articles." (per WP:CHARTS)
- Done.
The arrangement of the subheadings should be: Background → Composition and lyrics → Promotion and release (I would rename this as "Release and promotion") → Critical reception → Commercial performance → Music video → Accolades → Credits and personnel → Charts → Notes → References
- Done, though it got me curious, why move Charts down the article? As for renaming Promotion and release, I will leave this to Royiswariii.
"Release history" section can be removed since the song was only released in one format. Convert this into prose and include it in the "Promotion and release" section; take for example Pagtatag!#Release and promotion.
- Done.
The American bureau of the Philippine Daily Inquirer praised the music video for its depictions of Filipino cultural references despite its being aimed at international audiences. I think this should be moved to the "Music video" section, as it gives commentary to the song's MV, not to the song itself.
- Done. This was already done actually by Danilmay in revision 1263058059 back in December 14, 2024, but was reverted by RFNirmala in revision 1263069139 with the edit summary:
I don't see the need to move that sentence, which is a "critical reception" of the music video. The music video section aims to describe the video itself.
Initially, I also thought that the Music video is aimed to describe the MV only.
- Done. This was already done actually by Danilmay in revision 1263058059 back in December 14, 2024, but was reverted by RFNirmala in revision 1263069139 with the edit summary:
- These are the issues I have addressed, along with the reference issues which I already addressed earlier. As for the others, I would leave them for Royiswariii to work on for now. I will check back here again once I have time. AstrooKai (Talk) 17:18, 19 December 2024 (UTC)
- Hi Relayed!
- This is what I added:
and sign language incorporated during the chorus.
- on Music video section from Radio and Music [1]
the K-pop girl group Unis appeared on the YouTube channel "hello82", where they reacted to Bini music video for "Cherry on Top". They praised the group synchronization, with Filipino member Gehlee noting that the song concept could also work well for Unis.
- I focus on reacting to COT and I didn't add the pantropiko and pantropiko, since we'ere focusing on COT.
b. Comprehensive: The "Music video" and "Critical reception" could be expanded further
- I check on other sources like GMA, Philippine Daily Inquirer etc. It's the same on what they observe on the music video on COT music video, as well as Critical Reception it is one review from Gabirel Saulog from Billboard Philippines.
Wherever possible, if other claims can be supported with other secondary reliable sources, such as Philippine Daily Inquirer, Manila Bulletin, Rappler, etc., please do so. ABS-CBN News is part of the parent company that Bini is being managed, which sometimes can present information with bias. Although, I am not ruling out the reliability of ABS-CBN News, what I'm just saying is to avoid such as much as possible (per WP:PSTS).
- I agree, but some cases I didn't cite such as Philippine Daily Inquirer or GMA News because some articles on the releasing of COT, it's the same article as almost the same on ABS-CBN article what they wrote and to other articles. (I don't accuse the journalist on close paraphrasing or plagiarism, that's what I notice in some other articles.) Royiswariii Talk! 05:19, 21 December 2024 (UTC)
I agree, but some cases I didn't cite such as Philippine Daily Inquirer or GMA News because some articles on the releasing of COT, it's the same article as almost the same on ABS-CBN article what they wrote and to other articles. (I don't accuse the journalist on close paraphrasing or plagiarism, that's what I notice in some other articles.)
- Just my opinion – if secondary sources have published articles similar to ABS-CBN's, I think it's best to prioritize those secondary sources, even if the content overlaps. As Relayed mentioned, if the information is already covered by other independent sources, it's better to use them. This not only diversifies references but also helps avoid over-reliance on primary and non-independent sources. Personally, I try to limit the use of ABS-CBN News articles to ensure a wider range of references and reduce dependence on non-independent sources. This can also help demonstrate that the subject has WP:SIGCOV from independent sources. AstrooKai (Talk) 05:43, 21 December 2024 (UTC)
- Hey @Relayed! I just noticed your comment about the article's copyright violation (copyvio), stating that the article's copyvio report is 45.4%. I want to clarify it to you that the article you checked was the 2014 song Cherry on Top by Oh Land. The two bears the same name so it is understandable to be confused with these two. This article's copyvio result is actually 15.3%, which is fairly low and should be within copyright standards. AstrooKai (Talk) 12:12, 21 December 2024 (UTC)
Drive by comment by Dxneo
[edit]- Under Accolades:
"Cherry on Top" has received three awards from different award-giving bodies. They received two awards, winning Best Breakthrough Artist and International Music Video at Brazil's BreakTudo Awards.
- Who's received the awards here, it or they?
- And
…has received three awards from different award-giving bodies.
— I suggest you tweak this sentence, see User:Tony1/How to improve your writing. For an example, you can phrase it like "In 2024, Tyla won the inaugural Best African Music Performance at the 66th Annual Grammy Awards." Be specific, include the year, category and the awards edition. - Lastly, since there is a table, why aren't the three awards tabulated also? dxneo (talk) 08:34, 23 December 2024 (UTC)
- Done. I removed the prose since it is redundant to the article.
Who's received the awards here, it or they?
- Both the group and the song received awards from the same accolade. However, I removed the prose as the International Music Video award is already documented in the table, making it redundant. Additionally, the Best Breakthrough Artist award is now excluded because it pertains to the group rather than the song, and the section is specifically designated for awards and nominations related to the song.
- AstrooKai (Talk) 08:49, 23 December 2024 (UTC)
- On a side note, I added a caption for the table, just so that there's a description at least. AstrooKai (Talk) 08:50, 23 December 2024 (UTC)
- Out of curiosity, the statement said the song received three awards, I can only see one, why? dxneo (talk) 09:14, 23 December 2024 (UTC)
- You can see...only one?? AstrooKai (Talk) 09:48, 23 December 2024 (UTC)
- Yes, one won from three nominations. Be careful, at FAC they won't have time to fix such inaccuries. Everything must be clean and well-written. Good luck.
I have an open GAC here ("Water"), please consider reviewing it. dxneo (talk) 10:25, 23 December 2024 (UTC)- I guess the statement saying that the song received three awards pertains to those three nominations, though only one was won. AstrooKai (Talk) 10:51, 23 December 2024 (UTC)
- Yes, one won from three nominations. Be careful, at FAC they won't have time to fix such inaccuries. Everything must be clean and well-written. Good luck.
- You can see...only one?? AstrooKai (Talk) 09:48, 23 December 2024 (UTC)
- Out of curiosity, the statement said the song received three awards, I can only see one, why? dxneo (talk) 09:14, 23 December 2024 (UTC)
- On a side note, I added a caption for the table, just so that there's a description at least. AstrooKai (Talk) 08:50, 23 December 2024 (UTC)
Hi, AstrooKai and Royiswariii! Apologies if I was not able to respond quickly, had other things come up outside of Wikipedia. I'll review your responses in a bit. – Relayed (t • c) 08:59, 23 December 2024 (UTC)