User talk:WillKBeatty/America 3000
Will - - I've assigned you one peer reviewer. Unfortunately, as drafts come in the peer review system gets a little out of sync. I need one more draft from someone else to assign you the other peer review. If you don't get a second peer review within a few days, let me know. ProfHanley (talk) 18:01, 12 April 2021 (UTC)
Peer Review
[edit]Lead: You seem to not have added anything to expand upon the old entry. I would use the dense detail you've put in the plot section and summarize it while also highlighting any particluar unique qualities that would set this film apart.
Plot: The plot is insanely detailed, but almost too dense. I would summarize the plot much more, focusing on the more story-important scenes and decisions and size it down to only a few paragraphs. However, the attention to detail is very useful and concise. For notes on the different language terminology, I would squeeze the wording in the sentence with different punctuation, rather than the multiple abrupt parentheses that riddle the section. Language: Actually set up very well, only thing needed to fix is to put the words into a bulletin list. Good job.
There doesn't seem to be any other additions to the other categories despite what's noted. My best recommendation is to find reliable sources on the reception, as that section would be the most lacking after your current contributions. Focus more on not overwhelming the reader but making the information easy to digest.
Chimericmacandcheese (talk) 03:16, 15 April 2021 (UTC)
Peer Review
[edit]Whose work are you reviewing? WillKBeatty
Link to draft you're reviewing:https://wiki.riteme.site/wiki/User:WillKBeatty/America_3000 Link to the current version of the article (if it exists): https://wiki.riteme.site/wiki/America_3000
Hi Will! Here's my peer review for you,
Lead
You have a solid lead here – you did a good job of expanding on the original. My only two notes would be that the plot could be summarized even more succinctly/generally here, and it would be helpful if you made clear which tribe is the women and which tribe is the men.
Content
Your plot summary is waaaayy better and more complete than the original. It is a bit dense, although the plot itself is probably a bit dense and I imagine a fan of this film would follow it better and appreciate it.
I would suggest making it clearer who Reya is before dropping into her storyline (I think she is the Tiara, but if so this is not explicitly written in the previous paragraph)
In the final paragraph of the plot, you wrote “a surrending Vena,” but I believe you meant to write “surrendering.”
I think it’s good you added additional examples under “Reception.” However, the “Globe and Mail” quote is more of a plot summary than their review/reception of the film. I would either find a quote from that article that shows their opinion on the film, or take out the quote entirely.
“Lead Actress” does not need to be capitalized. Also, a quote from Laurene about her experience shooting the movie would be amazing if you can watch the documentary, but if not, no biggie.
Tone and Balance
Everything is written in a neutral/balanced way!
Sources and References
All of your links work! And they are good, reputable sources.