User talk:Odeantoni
| This user is a student editor in University_of_California,_Berkeley/Global_Poverty_and_Practice_(Fall_2024) . |
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Odeantoni, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 20:29, 3 September 2024 (UTC)
Peer Review of your drafted edits on Community health centers in the United States
[edit]What does the article do well?
Your draft is awesome. You have great structure and reliable sources. It is overflowing with information -- in a good way. Your added paragraphs were incredibly easy to read, and I can honestly say that I learned a lot. You definitely made positive contributions to the pre-existing section on finance, and I believe that the original wikipedia article is better off because of your contributions. The specific statistics were very insightful as well.
What changes would I suggest the author apply?
One copy edit is that you say "Between 2020 to 2020, they demonstrate significant resilience...", but I think you meant to change the latter date to something different. Also, I full-heartedly agree with your stance on the financing of community health centers, but I would be careful with a few of the adjectives/adverbs you use just because wikipedia is pretty serious about presenting totally neutral content. A few words you can review are "radically" in the sentence "radically changing the modes of care"; "rapidly assembled" in the sentence after that; "immense victory" in the sentence "Despite the stagnant funding, California recently passed Proposition 35, which is an immense victory for patients." None of that is to say that these things aren't true, and I don't even think you exaggerated anything, but I think it's worth it to review your diction just in case. I think this could help you balance your coverage a bit more to put forth more neutral content. ˜˜˜˜finchjulia23 Finchjulia23 (talk) 19:47, 15 December 2024 (UTC)
Peer review of your drafted contributions edits on Race and health in the United States
[edit]What does the article do well?
Your draft is really good. I think it is super beneficial to explain the political context that has contributed/created/perpetuated racial differences in access to health care. Your structure and organization is great, and your draft is super easy to read/follow. I also think you do a good job remaining neutral and presenting a wide array of information. Overall, I think you did a great job, and I learned a lot from your contributions!
What changes would I suggest the author apply?
When you say "The combined effort of CHCs," you should consider adding parenthesis to explain what CHC stands for here -- I see that you do this a few sentences later, but I think you should do it earlier when you introduce the acronym for the first time. The same thing for "WCRC." Also, this is just a copy-edit, but you should change the sentence "Furthermore, reducing out-of-pocket costs through vouchers and reimbursements–mitigate the financial burden of cancer care" to "Furthermore, by reducing out-of-pocket costs through vouchers and reimbursements, CHCs mitigate the financial burden of cancer care." ˜˜˜˜finchjulia23 Finchjulia23 (talk) 20:13, 15 December 2024 (UTC)
December 2024
[edit]
Hi Odeantoni! I noticed that you recently marked an edit as minor at Race and health in the United States that may not have been. "Minor edit" has a specific definition on Wikipedia—it refers only to superficial edits that could never be the subject of a dispute, such as typo corrections or reverting obvious vandalism. Any edit that changes the meaning of an article is not a minor edit, even if it only concerns a single word. Please note that you have made two consecutive edits marked as minor which do not count anywhere near as such. I implore you to read the definition in the links above. Yutah123|UPage|(talk)✶ 00:07, 21 December 2024 (UTC)