User talk:LIUCGaia03
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AfC notification: Draft:QC Terme has a new comment
[edit]
Further feedback regarding Draft:QC Terme
[edit]Unfortunately, I can't read Italian, so I can't comment too much on the sources. But make sure they are not connected with QC Terme.
In the lead "[...] it operates a network of establishments based on the tradition of Roman thermal baths and on contemporary wellness practices.The architecture and design of each location are based on the surrounding environment and use natural and sustainable materials" is vague and not clear - "wellness" is a bit of a buzzword, and I suspect the company's own words, which is not appropriate. The lead should summarise how third party sources have described the company. Contrast this with the lead of, for example, Nintendo which is fairly clear - they're a company that used to make playing cards and now make videogames.
The article needs to be written in more neutral language. For example, "with their distinctive architectural design", "The center's interiors feature a minimalist, contemporary design that harmoniously integrated with traditional Alpine elements" and "addressing the challenges posed by climate change while offering a new tourism experience" are absolutely not neutral and are promotional. -- NotCharizard 🗨 14:57, 29 December 2024 (UTC)
- I also think there are some questionable sources used, and that information could be cut. A longer article does not mean a better article, it is better to have a shorter article with strong sources that a long one with weak sources. -- NotCharizard 🗨 14:59, 29 December 2024 (UTC)
- I appreciate the suggestions, I will work on the language and the sources. LIUCGaia03 (talk) 15:06, 29 December 2024 (UTC)