User talk:Deestinyy/sandbox

Genivee's Peer Review

I think you did a very good job at providing pertinent information that was lacking from this subject on Wikipedia. You also had many valid sources to back up your edit. Your sources are strong and back up what you are adding. What I think you could improve is adding some links or wiki-links to important words or subjects in your edit that some readers might not know as common knowledge or would want to look more into. For example, Paraffin, Baron Karl Ludwig von Reinbach, hyaluronic acid, Francis Rynd, prosthetics, and silicone could be changed into wiki-links. In addition, I think you could improve grammar in a few sentences and restructure some sentences for further clarity. Also, I would stick to using present or past tense throughout the edit for continuity.

Grammar and Writing Improvements: Lip Augmentation:

Lips are an apparent feature of the face. Surgical lip augmentation began being experimented with in the late 1800s. (changed last sentence for clarity)

Specifically, the method of inserting hyaluronic acid into the lips has become a widely used method. (changed first word for clarity)

The process, as explained by Thieme Plastic Surgery, is injecting the polysacharride Hyalude into the lip then the acid will decompose which will form a matrix and create the illusion of a larger lip. (I inserted commas)

improving due to advancements in science. (got rid of "the")

Breast Implants:

used to form size, shape and definition of the breast (got rid of "a")

As any other medical creation, the gel shells were tested (inserted comma)

In a study conducted in a lab by scientists, these gel shells (inserted comma)

In summary, the force a person would have to place on the gel shells would have to be a tremendous force and even if that force were to occur, only one third of the gels would degrade. (changed for clarity, and got rid of “a”, and added comma)

Body modification, like breast augmentation, has become more desirable and due to the advancement in science, there are many options available for the diversity in bodies. (added commas and changed for clarity)