User talk:Abbieloring/sandbox.group.herpetologist
PEER RESPONSES FEEDBACK
[edit]Abbie:
- Bulleted list item
Plan looks good. Move forward. Start proposing the changes you want to make on the article talk page to see if you get some feedback. Kelly:
- Plan for distinguishing text is good as are other elements
- Images: What we discussed is that you would add this image potentially to the page and re-organize how the images that show the two retraction methods could work. A potential thing you could do if all four panels of the image above are too much, is to edit that image and upload a portion of that image as a new one (with proper attribution to the original!) to Wikimedia commons. That might make the images easier for page readers to handle.
Olunia:
- This plan work and I would keep the lake image. Perhaps just alter the caption to be more descriptive.
- Captive Care is a low priority edit
- Neoteny: In order to understand what you planned to do, it was necessary for a reader to go directly to the Neoteny section of the page and sort of work that out. I think the feedback you got was due to not really being able to easily see where the changes would take place. Showing the original text with your additions in a different color or highlighted might be quite helpful so we can see what your edits will look like.
- From what I can see, I think your additions are good.
Osquaesitor (talk) 17:38, 27 April 2021 (UTC)
Peer Review by User:Curtisag
[edit]Description
Do you plan on adding more intext citations to the paragraph? It might be nice to have more than one source and/or cite the same one for other info in the paragraph.
Distribution and Habitat
"Agalychnis callidryas also require high humidity levels of at least 80%."
Don't forget to italicize species names!
Behavior
I'm not really sure what the quotations are in this paragraph. Are you able to quoting as part of your edit? Is this quoted because it's a copyedit from the original page?
Diet
Are you adding information about Diet? I see the subheading is listed.
Reproduction
Did you add any outside sources not previously used? I didn't see any sources listed in your Outline section.
Curtisag (talk) 03:23, 9 April 2021 (UTC)
"Turtle anatomy includes both an internal and external skeleton. The external skeleton is comprised of a bony shell which serves as protection. The internal skeleton makes up structures such as the flippers and facilitates the anchoring of muscles." I edited some grammar including commas and weird capitalizations. It might be good to specify that Pleurodira and Cryptodires are suborders. The term "subgroups" might be confusing.
Head
"Their tongues are used to help swallow their food, however are not able to be outstretched." <This sentence structure is a bit odd.
Shell
"The shell inside differs from the outside. Inside the shell is composed of many bones including ribs and vertebras, whereas the outside is composed of scutes. Scutes are a keratinized part of the epidermis and are similar in structure to scales of other reptiles, and are made of keratin." <I don't think the first sentence here is necessary because the next two sentences are good. I also fixed some grammar.
Respiration
A photo showing all the organs connecting to the lungs would be helpful.
Skin and molting
"The rest of the body is covered in smaller scales, similar to other reptile's scales, which are made of keratin." <Aren't scutes also made of keratin?
Limbs
"Tortoises have two fewer phalanges on each of their feet, do not have webbed hind feet, have hind limbs made of elephantine, and have less wrist mobility than that of aquatic turtles." <Potential new sentence structure for better flow. You might want to format the second citation listed in your Outline section as a book instead of a website. Have you used the citation tools for the new sources you list? I'm having trouble telling, and I couldn't find the article "Turtle Mating Systems: Behavior, Sperm Storage, and Genetic Paternity" listed in the references.
Curtisag (talk) 03:26, 9 April 2021 (UTC)
Description
Does your elaboration on buccal pumping use the same source listed as 28 on your group sandbox citations?
Habitat and Ecology
Why did you want to add quotations around "the fresh water"? Are these lakes actually high in salinity?
Neoteny
It might make sense to include neoteny as a subheading under the section about model organism since neoteny is somewhat lab-bred. Do they have a good image in the original page for neoteny already? You could add one if they don't.
Other
I'm a bit confused by the other articles listed in your Outlines section. Are those other articles you are interested in editing later?
Curtisag (talk) 03:32, 9 April 2021 (UTC)
Peer Review by Shelby
[edit]Abbie
[edit]I appreciated that you specified what you changed in each section and what you added. However I was a little confused about the sentences and phrases that are in quotations. Were these pieces that were already in the article? Or quotes from sources you are using?
Overall I thought the edits that you proposed were clear and concise, and made sense within the context of the article. I like the addition of the part about the nictitating membrane, but I'm not sure it belongs in the behavior section, maybe there is another place in the article that this might fit better.
Lastly, I'm not sure about your first three sources, especially the first one. They look like websites to me, not peer reviewed wikipedia-acceptable references. I could be wrong, but I think that you might want to find more reliable sources like your last two!
Kelly
[edit]I would have liked to see an overview of what the changes you made to the article were. You have a really long section here, so I am unsure if you wrote all of it or if some of it was copied and pasted from the page.
You have a few typos/grammatical errors throughout. I would proofread your sections again, and watch out for when nouns should be plural and when verbs should be past tense. In the first paragraph, "are mainly differentiated base on neck retraction," base should be based. In the head section "Aquatic turtle that submerge their entire body" turtle should be plural here. In the shell section, "including ribs and vertebras" they plural of vertebra is vertebrae. In the section skin and molting "all at one" should be all at once I am assuming.
The section in skin and molting about their scales/scutes is very repetitive. You have the same discussion in the above section about their shell and do not need to include it twice.
I really like all of the images you included!
Lastly, I would review your sources. You have a lot of them and most of them look really good, so great job on that. However there are a few that I am not sure would be considered peer-reviewed sources, particularly your first and third ones, though there may be others I missed.
Olunia
[edit]Your sources all look really good, excellent job!
I am not sure the image of Lake Xochimilco really adds anything to the article.
For the paragraph you moved to the neoteny section, I agree it makes sense here but I don't think it needs to be so detailed. I think the part about the experiment being unknowingly repeated might have made sense when it was in the model organism section, but it doesn't really add anything to neoteny. Maybe just say that Laufberger was able to induce growth in the axolotl to adulthood via thyroid hormone injections. I don't think it needs to say anything more than this in this section.
Overall I think your proposed edits look good! Nautas99 (talk) 21:09, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
Peer Review: Alexia
[edit]Abbie
Great job with your edits I was a bit confused with some of your quotations and if that was information you changed or was originally from the paper. For the description section I might suggest on adding some context it felt a little like a list, but also it could stay the same because it was very clear and easy to read. Also, great catch with the webbed feet and aquatic frogs.
I reviewed your sources and the last few look like great peer-review articles. However, the first couple are from websites and I might recommend finding journal articles to find that information since some websites can misleading information. Also, I was not sure if you meant to add in the diet subheading since it did not have information under it.
Kelly
Great use of images they really elevate your section on neck retraction. I also appreciate that you labeled them and are formatted well on the page.
Reading over your sections I was not entirely sure what specific contributions and edits you made to the paper. If you could potentially make a clear distinction I think it would be easier to navigate instead of having to reference the main page.
Also, good job on using credible sources I went through them and all the information was gathered from reputable papers. There were a few that were from websites and I might suggest that you find peer-reviewed articles to find that information since websites can be biased.
I have a few suggestions regarding some of the information your included. In your head section, it would be great if you added more information on cryptodires since you explain that pleurodira have flat broad skulls, but did not explain cyptodires. Also, I am curious if land and sea turtles have different nose structures. In the neck retraction section, I think some of your sentences could be condensed since a few of them repeat the same information. For example you mention a couple times that retraction is for feeding purposes. In the shell section I think it might be a good addition to link the dorsal page with the word dorsal so then you could take out the explanation of it. For me the explanation could be distracting attention away from the actual information you explain.
Olunia
Great job making your specific edits very clear. I checked your sources and they all look credible from peer reviewed journal articles.
I also like the images that you included however I am not sure if the picture of the lake supplements the paper. Also, I was not sure if you meant to add in the heading captive care at the end because I did not see additional edits. I found a couple typos that could be easy edits such as the repeated "when" from the sentence with using the 26th source. I think your plan to add more information about the development of Axolotls is a good idea and is much needed.