Template:Did you know nominations/The Sons of Great Bear
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- The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:13, 22 December 2012 (UTC)
The Sons of Great Bear
[edit]... that after East German head of state Walter Ulbricht watched the Western film The Sons of Great Bear, which presented the Oglala Lakota Native Americans as heroes struggling against the villainous Whites, he told the studio representative to "keep it up"?
- Reviewed: Johan Frederik Classen, Det Classenske Fideicommis, Corselitze Forest
- Comment: Prose portion expanded fivefold, from 2,900 characters to 16,500
Created/expanded by Bahavd Gita (talk). Self nom at 16:21, 4 December 2012 (UTC)
Excellent expansion on good sources, offline sources accepted AGF. The hook is too long, I don't think we have to use many words to explain Ulbricht, there's a link, and I find it hard to translate a short German statement well to English. I used Native Americans in the United States for Native Americans, trying:
ALT1: ... that Walter Ulbricht demanded a private screening of the Western film The Sons of Great Bear, which presents the Oglala Lakota Native Americans as heroes struggling against the villainous Whites?--Gerda Arendt (talk) 14:08, 6 December 2012 (UTC)
The author/nominator placed a "Retired" notice on their user page shortly after posting this nomination. — Maile (talk) 22:52, 12 December 2012 (UTC)
- For me, the problem with ALT1 is that the hook doesn't grab me: who is Walter Ulbricht, and why should I care that he demanded a private screening? Since the nominator is gone, and there don't appear to be any issues with the article itself, let's try to get a catchy hook. Do either of these work?
ALT2: ... that the East German film The Sons of Great Bear is a Western which presents the Oglala Lakota Native Americans as heroes struggling against the villainous Whites?ALT3: ... that the East German film The Sons of Great Bear was that country's first Western, and presents the Oglala Lakota Native Americans as heroes struggling against the villainous Whites?
- I'm of two minds as to whether we should squeeze in the fact that this was the first East German Western, thus the two variants, which are 163 and 182 characters respectively, shorter than both earlier hook suggestions. —BlueMoonset (talk) 18:23, 13 December 2012 (UTC)
- I thought most people would still know Ulbricht, and there's a link for those who don't. I tried to stay to the author's "legacy", but like your suggestions. How about a little more quirky then
- ALT4: ... that the 1966 film The Sons of Great Bear was East Germany's first Western, presenting the Oglala Lakota Native Americans as heroes struggling against the villainous Whites? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 10:39, 14 December 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks, Gerda. I like ALT4 better than mine, so I'm striking them (and all the earlier hooks, too). Since we were both involved in creating ALT4, though, as it's a modification of my ALTs and adds a new fact (1966), I think we need a new reviewer to wrap this up in a nice bow. BlueMoonset (talk) 02:54, 15 December 2012 (UTC)
Reviewer needed to review ALT4 hook, and, if desired, to also recheck earlier review. Thanks! BlueMoonset (talk) 02:54, 15 December 2012 (UTC)
Article is a substantial 4.9 times expansion (5,500-->26,483 bytes) and I am not going to quibble about a few dozen bytes. It is new enough and the ALT4 hook is sourced to an offline book and accepted in good faith. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 14:23, 21 December 2012 (UTC)
- thanks for the tick, but we count only "readable prose size": from 2.786 to 16,555, --Gerda Arendt (talk) 14:51, 21 December 2012 (UTC)