Template:Did you know nominations/Harutiun Djangulian

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Yoninah (talk) 23:46, 2 June 2014 (UTC)

Harutiun Djangulian

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~~... that although Harutiun Djangulian (pictured) was killed during the Armenian Genocide, he was once sentenced to death earlier in his life?~~

Reviewed: Template:Did_you_know_nominations/Tharanga_Goonetilleke

Created by EtienneDolet (talk). Self nominated at 08:42, 4 May 2014 (UTC).

Length and date verified. Offline/Armenian-language sources accepted on good faith. I also was able to check one of the details (Djangulian's means of death) via Google Books. Good to go. - Biruitorul ^Talk 13:58, 5 May 2014 (UTC)

The first paragraph under Kum Kapu demonstration needs a cite per Rule D2.
The hook doesn't make sense. Why "although"? If he hadn't been killed, would the death sentence have held? The article says his death sentence was commuted to life in exile. How about:
ALT1: ~~... that Harutiun Djangulian (pictured) launched the 1890 Kum Kapu demonstration by interrupting mass and reading a declaration of sympathy towards the maltreatment of Armenians from the altar?~~ Yoninah (talk) 22:18, 7 May 2014 (UTC)

@Yoninah: I find that hook too long which may not appeal the reader as much. Let's try:

ALT2: ~~... that Harutiun Djangulian (pictured), a leader of the Kum Kapu demonstration, was arrested and subsequently executed during the Armenian Genocide?~~

We have run so many Armenian Genocide hooks about rape, murder, and genocide over the past few months that ALT2 isn't novel or interesting, IMO. You could shorten ALT 2 ...
ALT3: ~~... that Armenian activist Harutiun Djangulian (pictured) launched the Kum Kapu demonstration by stepping on the altar and interrupting mass?~~
... or suggest something else. Please remember about the cite. Yoninah (talk) 23:49, 7 May 2014 (UTC)

@Yoninah: I prefer ALT1 at this point. Étienne Dolet (talk) 04:19, 8 May 2014 (UTC)

OK, but I can't review my own hook. Could another reviewer sign off on this please? I also added a "citation needed" tag where a paragraph needs a ref. Yoninah (talk) 10:39, 8 May 2014 (UTC)

Here's a shorter version of ALT1:
ALT4: ... that Armenian activist Harutiun Djangulian (pictured) launched the 1890 Kum Kapu demonstration by interrupting a mass and reading a declaration from the altar? Yoninah (talk) 10:56, 8 May 2014 (UTC)

I'm fine with ALT4. Reviewer needed. Étienne Dolet (talk) 19:25, 8 May 2014 (UTC)

Full review for ALT4. New enough (for 4 May) and long enough. Hook supported by offline citation #6, taken AGF. QPQ OK. Hook image is free. Images in article are free. No problems with disambig links or with external links. As far as I can see, all issues in above discussion are now resolved. This is a worthwhile article; congratulations. Good to go.--Storye book (talk) 14:09, 2 June 2014 (UTC)