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Template:Did you know nominations/George W. Jenkins

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The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:55, 22 April 2012 (UTC)

George W. Jenkins

[edit]

Created/expanded by Mgreason (talk). Self nom at 02:57, 6 April 2012 (UTC)

  • Nice work. For some reason DYKcheck claims the expansion isn't enough but a manual check verifies that it is. The concern is, though, that the article sound a bit...flowery at times, instead of encyclopedic. The data is there, it just needs a good copyediting to pluck the peacock phrasing. - The Bushranger One ping only 23:23, 20 April 2012 (UTC)
  • I read through the article twice, and I don't see any peacock phrasing or weasel words. Perhaps I'm just too close to see it, but would you point out a couple of examples that you noticed? Mgrē@sŏn 00:14, 22 April 2012 (UTC)
  • Well, it's marginal, but things like "it was a brave decision..." and "he returned their goodwill and hard work by..." sound somewhat more company-history-ish rather than encyclopedic, although I might just be being a little picayune I suppose! After looking through it again I don't think that's enough to disqualify it, although I would suggest still tweaking the wording there just a bit perhaps? Anyway, I give this an approval; I'd strongly suggest ALT3, which I've modified just a bit - hope you don't mind! :) - The Bushranger One ping only 03:21, 22 April 2012 (UTC)
  • I tweaked the language for the two examples you noted. ALT3 is fine. Thanks. Mgrē@sŏn 13:32, 23 April 2012 (UTC)