Template:Did you know nominations/Eternal Sun

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:35, 4 October 2017 (UTC)

Eternal Sun

(

)

... that hall of fame horse Eternal Sun's owner purchased him with an IOU written on the corner torn from the page of the seller's sale magazine?

Source: "Phillips retrieved a copy of his sale catalog and tore a corner from the edge. Howard took the corner and wrote an IOU on it." (and [1] Created by Dawnleelynn (talk). Self-nominated at 23:09, 17 September 2017 (UTC).

You need a QPQ. In other words, you need to review someone else's DYK? nomination. Futurist110 (talk) 01:39, 18 September 2017 (UTC)

Never mind; it looks like you don't need to do a QPQ for your first five DYK? nominations. Thus, this DYK? nomination is good to go right now! Futurist110 (talk) 04:15, 18 September 2017 (UTC)

There is no indication of what has actually been reviewed. Futurist110, please specify the criteria that the article meets whenever you review a DYK nomination. Thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 03:49, 28 September 2017 (UTC)

Article is new enough, long enough, hook is short enough and sourced. Article is neutral and no copyvio. No need for qpq. Good to go. Montanabw^(talk) 09:00, 1 October 2017 (UTC)

Hi, I came by to promote this, but found the presentation starting with "Show career and breeding" to be written like a magazine article rather than an encyclopedia article. The storytelling begins: "Harold Howard was a farmer who plowed his land with draft horses on his strawberry farm in Remus, Michigan. He dreamed of owning one horse who could do it all" — and continues through Death and legacy: "Eternal Sun worked his special influence on the Howard farm for almost 20 years". Please summarize the facts and remove the magazine-ish writing. Thanks, Yoninah (talk) 22:15, 1 October 2017 (UTC)

IMHO Yoninah, the phrasing is a bit flowery, but it's still within policy. I don't see it being a problem for DYK, though a bit of copyediting for encyclopedic tone might be useful if it were to go to GA or something. I can't both review and edit the article, so maybe some suggestions at the article talk would be useful? But at any rate, who now decides if it's OK to queue up, you or me??? Montanabw^(talk) 04:21, 2 October 2017 (UTC)

I think the writer should apply to WP:GOCE for some help here. Articles that appear on the main page really must meet basic Wikipedia guidelines, aside from the DYK criteria. Yoninah (talk) 17:15, 2 October 2017 (UTC)

@Yoninah:, we had the person who took the lead on the Secretariat FAC take a whack at it. I think it is improved, and I also did a few minor copyedits. I hesitate to give it another thumbs up until you have looked at it, as now I'm involved. Montanabw^(talk) 01:22, 3 October 2017 (UTC)

@Montanabw: @Dawnleelynn: I edited the section for encyclopedic tone. If it looks all right to you, I'll go ahead and restore the tick. Yoninah (talk) 20:21, 3 October 2017 (UTC)

I also suggest these changes to the hook, to explain what "hall of fame" is and also to use the language in the article about the IOU:
ALT1: ... that Eternal Sun, inducted into the Michigan Quarter Horse Association Hall of Fame in 1989, was purchased with an IOU written on the corner of a page torn from the seller's sale catalog? Yoninah (talk) 20:26, 3 October 2017 (UTC)

Or:
ALT2: ... that Eternal Sun, inducted into the Michigan Quarter Horse Association Hall of Fame in 1989, was purchased with an IOU and a handshake? Yoninah (talk) 23:26, 3 October 2017 (UTC)

OK, problems resolved, I'll let whoever promotes this to the queue choose the hook. I like the original hook and ALT2 both. Montanabw^(talk) 01:46, 4 October 2017 (UTC)