Template:Did you know nominations/Abbas Kazmi

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Allen3 ^talk 10:12, 16 March 2012 (UTC)

Abbas Kazmi

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... that a US diplomat had approached Abbas Kazmi to build a case to free Ajmal Kasab, the lone gunman caught during 2008 Mumbai attacks?

Comment: I had created the Page in my user space on Jan 30 2012 and moved it to main space on 7 Feb 2012

Created/expanded by Ratnakar Kulkarni (talk). Nominated by Ratnakar.kulkarni (talk) at 13:36, 7 February 2012 (UTC)

The article is New (moved from User space). Long enough with more than 1500 characters. Hook is interesting and understandable and suitably referenced. But the article doesnt through much light on the hook. That section of the article should write more about this. In fact, that part confuses you from what you read in the hook. Please improve that. -Animeshkulkarni (talk) 13:23, 8 February 2012 (UTC)

I have made few changes to the article and also to the section that you mentioned, can you please review it once. - Ratnakar Kulkarni (talk)

I still wasnt very happy with it. Hence made some changes. And hence i would also want some other editor to review it. -Animeshkulkarni (talk) 15:41, 9 February 2012 (UTC)

I completed edited this article, and placed the proper citation with the hook fact. It is all set now.--Ishtar456 (talk) 01:42, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

I am concerned that some of the phrasings used by this article may be too close to those of this source. Nikkimaria (talk) 20:46, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

I am sorry, I was trying to stay as true to the original writer's wording as I could. I found that and the source both a little difficult to decipher. I have reworked it again.
I am glad you caught this because I also want to suggest an alt as I am not sure that "freedom" was intended, but a special consideration in his sentencing. So I suggest: ALT 1: ... that a US diplomat asked Abbas Kazmi to build a brainwashing defense for Ajmal Kasab, the gunman tried for the 2008 Mumbai attacks?
I guess someone else should review it now. Please look at the dif. in the last few edits. --Ishtar456 (talk) 23:44, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

Second request for another review. I really did edit this article and I feel it is ready to go, but I did so much work on it that I would like someone else to look at it. I originally ask 6 days ago. Thanks--Ishtar456 (talk) 00:07, 10 March 2012 (UTC)

I had made few changes to the article but I feel that the ALT suggested by Ishtar needs some cleanup.--sarvajna (talk) 10:10, 11 March 2012 (UTC)

ALT2: ... that Abbas Kazmi was asked, by a United States Diplomat, to construct a brainwashing defense for Ajmal Kasab, the gunman who was tried for the 2008 Mumbai attacks?

A little simpler. Crisco 1492 (talk) 07:25, 13 March 2012 (UTC)

Doesnt mentioning "US Diplomat" make it more hook-y? -Animeshkulkarni (talk) 21:33, 14 March 2012 (UTC)

I just added the last suggestion to the hook. I am hoping someone will complete this review.--Ishtar456 (talk) 00:09, 15 March 2012 (UTC)

This is now good to go with ALT2 (I made a few minor tweaks to the article and added a citation to an uncited paragraph). Moswento (talk | contribs) 09:45, 16 March 2012 (UTC)