Talk:Zhang Zhenglang/GA1

GA Review

Passed. Thebiguglyalien (talk) 05:55, 8 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: Generalissima (talk · contribs) 03:42, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Thebiguglyalien (talk · contribs) 04:09, 4 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I was hoping to see some China articles in the DCWC! Give me a few days and I'll look this article over. Thebiguglyalien (talk) 04:09, 4 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Generalissima, great article overall. Very little to change before it meets all of the criteria. Thebiguglyalien (talk) 00:07, 7 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thebiguglyalien I think I got all your suggestions implemented! Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 05:09, 8 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

General comments:

My only note on the prose overall is that it's a little comma-heavy. Besides that, it's excellent in terms of readability and easily passes GA's requirements.
Since "biography" is the only level-2 heading in the body, it might be better to remove it and bump the subheadings up to level-2.
No issues with neutrality, stability, or images. More coverage would be nice, but it covers the main aspects, especially given the limited sources available.

Lead:

The lead seems long compared to the length of the article. I'd suggest trimming it down to only hit the main points so it can work better as a quick overview.
I edited the lead to change the tense in one sentence.

Education:

No notes.

Academic career:

This section is a little long. Is there a clean dividing point for another heading? If it becomes its own level-2 heading, it would be a good size for two or three subheadings depending possible dividing points.
I changed Following the conclusion of the war to "After the war", because "following the conclusion of" is redundant.
toeing the Communist Party line sounds like an idiom.
led to Zhang's assignment to a May Seventh Cadre School in rural Henan, where he worked as a pig farmer – Could a sentence of context be provided explaining why the academic was suddenly a pig farmer?

Later life and death:

Although he never published a book... – This sentence is probably the worst offender with the comma issue. I suggest rewriting it so it flows more smoothly, maybe as two sentences.

References:

Checked five uses of Lu at [1]p.201, [3]p.204 (both), [7]p.208, and [8]pp.207–208. I don't see that p.204 supports the details about his survey of the library or that he didn't lose any books. I assume this is covered with the other citation in Zhang's own account? Does pp.207–208 say that Jian was actively protecting Zhang, or just that he was angry after the fact when Zhang was fired?
- Re 204: Oops, needed a Shaguhnessy cite there. -G
- Re 207-208: Fair point, I guess it might be a bit of inference to say he was doing so beforehand. Rephrased. -G
Checked Shaughnessy at [10]p.xiv. Good.
Note that while placing all of the citations at the end of the paragraph is sufficient, it can make verification much more difficult if not all of the sources support all of the facts.

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.