Talk:You Are the Apple of My Eye/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Crisco 1492 (talk · contribs) 08:34, 4 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this. Note that I do not speak Mandarin, so I will be unable to provide a thorough source check (i.e. no spotchecks here) — Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:34, 4 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Checklist

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
	1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	See below
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
	2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
	2c. it contains no original research.
	3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	Within definition
	6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	Fine, but see note
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	Fine
	7. Overall assessment.	Pending

Comments

1

Plot is jolty and doesn't flow very well. Perhaps consolidate similarly-themed parts into larger paragraphs. The third and fourth paragraphs stick out the most. -tried my best to improve it. However, the plot of the film itself jumps between the two scenes, so I really do not know how to fix this problem. Some help, perhaps?

with her strength or his? -done

~~Who's Ah-he? What does his dating Chia-yi have to do with the plot?~~ -Removed
~~Any reason why Chia-yi does poorly on her exams?~~ - added in
~~"saying that he did it to impress ex-girlfriend (and the female protagonist) Shen Chia-yi." - Any way to work that parenthetical into the text? ", the inspiration for the female protagonist, perhaps?~~- done
~~(who plays lead female character, Shen Chia-yi) - Is this necessary? You indicate who she played above~~- removed
Mypaper - a bit about the publication would be nice (Singapore-based Mypaper or whatever) -done
Several further paragraphs are really short and could be merged. -can you specify which?
"It contains six vocals by various artists and nine accompanying soundtracks used in the film." - Unclear. Do you mean it had six songs with vocals and nine instrumental pieces? -done
Really heavy on quotations (see WP:QUOTEFARM). This has copyright aspects as well. Should be cut back if possible.- Most quotes in the Production and Critical Reception section, so should be okay.
"Film Business Asia" - Should this be italicised? -done
~~(The previous record was set in 2003 by Infernal Affairs II, which earned HK$8,941,266.) - Might be good as a footnote (using {{efn}}, for example)~~- done
~~Same for (The record was previously held by the 2004 film Kung Fu Hustle.)~~- done
~~(which earned $390,000 in Singapore) - Not necessary, could be trimmed~~- done
I've given a copyedit, check the changes

3

Looks like you have issues with links dying on you. Suggest you use www.webcitation.org to archive them (at least your core references). I've done it on all my GAs and FAs. -see comments below
Fix the citation needed tag(s)- done for most. As for the one in the soundtrack section, it is really necessary to have one? It is already stated on the list, and in the album itself.

Just cite the album booklet (simple enough) -how exactly to do this?

~~Check your reference formatting. For example, the The Straits Times should be in italics for FN 42 and there is a double period in FN 26.~~ -done

6

Preferable to remove the album cover, as it is essentially the same as the poster.- done — Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:34, 4 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Further discussion

On hold for one week. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 09:11, 4 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review. I have made some changes to the article, though I would need more time to implement your suggestions. The really big headache I have, as you mentioned, is the dead links. I am not aware of the tool you mentioned, so thanks for the tip. However, I really am unable to find any archives that saved these deleted pages. In fact, I have fixed quite a lot of dead links before this GA review, though evidently not all. Can you suggest some alternative methods to solve this problem, given your past experience? --Lionratz (talk) 08:00, 6 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Note to reviewer: I might be unable to spend large amounts of time in near future editing this page, since I have got exams coming up.

Did you try the Wayback Machine? It may help. (here) — Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:10, 6 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Should have replaced all the broken links that the Checklinks tool highlighted. I have also added notes beside each point. Can you have a look at them?--Lionratz (talk) 13:54, 8 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

This one looks dead. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 14:03, 8 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Replied above. Struck addressed comments — Crisco 1492 (talk) 14:10, 8 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Completed (I think) most of the tasks, with comments added beside each comment. Fixed the link too.--Lionratz (talk) 13:44, 9 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Looks like you just have that When tag to deal with. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:01, 9 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done, I think...--Lionratz (talk) 04:35, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, passing. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 04:48, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Okay. Thanks for the review!--Lionratz (talk) 02:04, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]