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Talk:United Nations Memorial Cemetery/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Hchc2009 (talk · contribs) 07:01, 18 February 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'll read through and start the review proper later on today. Hchc2009 (talk) 07:01, 18 February 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, I think we're pretty much there. If you can reference the final section, I'm happy to pass at GA. Hchc2009 (talk) 16:44, 17 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Well-written:

(a) the prose is clear and concise, respects copyright laws, and the spelling and grammar are correct;

  • "As North Korean People's Army forces moved south at the start of the war in June 1950" - as the first section, you need to explain what "the war" is. I'd recommend (NB: not a GA requirement!) that you also explain for the casual reader who the sides were, e.g. "The Korean war broke out in June 1950 between X and Y. As North Korean People's Army forces moved south at the start of the conflict..." - it just makes it really easy for a reader who knows nothing about the topic.
  • "were established by United Nations forces in Taejon (9 July 1950), Kwan-ui (Kwan-ni),[14] Kum-chon,[14] and Sindong." - (NB: not a GA requirement) I'd recommend easing the reader in here with something like "in the cities of Taejon..." - it makes it easy to understand if we're talking about provinces, areas, cities etc., particularly if your Korean geography is as bad as mine.
  • "Pusan" - could be linked (to Busan)
  • "with a Busan cemetery being " - be consistent in whether this is Pusan or Busan.
  • " When battles took place in North Korea" - "As the fighting pushed into North Korea..." might be more accurate
  • "Sukehon (Sonchon County)... Pupchong (Pukchong County)" - I'd recommend creating pages for Sukehon and Pupchong, and redirecting them to the County pages for now; this would be quite useful generally, and would also mean you wouldn't need the bracketed info here.
  • " in Yokohama, Japan" - comma needed after Japan
  • "The 108th platoon was configured as the 114th Graves Registration Company and " - I'd suggest "reconfigured", and it probably could do with a comma here after "and". If you wanted, you could loose the "108th", as its clear which platoon is being referred to.
  • "allied and American soldiers " - should allied be "Allied", as it's a specific alliance?
  • "When UN forces launched the Inchon Invasion in September 1950, a platoon from the 565th Graves Registration Company participated" - "participated" could mean several things. if you went for (e.g.) "accompanied them", it would be clearer.
  • "Besides battlefield conditions that included unexploded ordnance and booby-traps, the rugged geography and climate of North and South Korea added to the difficulty of burial and recovery of remains." I'd recommend reversing this sentence, e.g. "It was difficult to recover remains and conduct burials in Korea, due to the rugged geography and harsh climate, and the threat of unexploded ordnance and booby-traps." - it brings the verb to the front. I'd also move this sentence to the end of the paragraph, to avoid breaking up the flow.
  • "Following the signing of the Korean Armistice Agreement in July 1953, the Military Armistice Commission" - I'd explain that it was the United Nation's Military Armistice Commission. I'm presuming though it didn't try to reclaim all bodies, just non-North Korean ones?
  • " the resulting exchange of casualties, dubbed Operation Glory," - might be worth double-checking the source here. A casualty doesn't need to be dead; if the source uses this, fine, if not I'd recommend being more precise.
    • I think the context works well. Instead of using "remains" or "bodies" constantly, casualties is thrown in and it's clear we're talking about the dead. The remains were often skeletal, so "body" is not always a good term. (I may have tweaked this sentence, but don't recall for sure. Tell me if you'd like it changed some more.) – S. Rich (talk) 20:56, 16 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • " It was officially established by the United Nations " - what does "officially established" mean, given that it had already been established? It reads a bit oddly (compared to, perhaps, "officially taken over by", or "officially adopted by", or something like that)
    • Tweaked. I did not realize UNMCK, as the "Memorial Cemetery", came about in 1955 when the UN resolution was passed. Until then United Nations "Military Cemetery" was a common term. – S. Rich (talk) 20:56, 16 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • " In 1973, the only United Nations cemetery in the world" - if it was always the only cemetery, I'd put that at the beginning of the para, otherwise it sort of implies there might have been others that closed or changed ownership before 1973.
  • " The Commission is composed of representatives" - there's a change of tense here (from past to current); not a GA requirement, but I'd have stuck with the past.
  • "The 2,300 graves in the cemetery are set out in 22 sites designated by the nationalities of the buried servicemembers." This felt like it was part of a physical description of the site, and didn't fit well with the history. Would it fit better at the start of the memorials section? Hchc2009 (talk) 17:29, 5 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

(b) it complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.

  • "Laid out over 35 acres, the graves are set out in 22 sites designated by the nationalities of the buried servicemembers" I'd normally expect to see anything in the lead in the main text as well - this seems to just be in the lead.
  • Not strictly a GA requirement, but metric equivalents would be good (e.g. for "35 acres"). You can do this easily with the convert template, e.g. 35 acres (14 ha).
  • In an ideal world, the list of memorials would be fleshed out in time to become prose, but I can't see any sources to do that with, so a list seems suitable for now. Hchc2009 (talk) 16:42, 17 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Factually accurate and verifiable:

(a) it provides references to all sources of information in the section(s) dedicated to the attribution of these sources according to the guide to layout;

  • For ACR, I'd be looking for a common referencing style (e.g. some of the webpages have link, author, date etc. - some just the link), but this isn't a strict GA requirement. Hchc2009 (talk) 16:42, 17 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

(b) it provides in-line citations from reliable sources for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines;

(c) it contains no original research.

Broad in its coverage:

(a) it addresses the main aspects of the topic;

  • "Temporary battlefield cemeteries and remains recovery" section - anything we can say about the North Koreans here? Hchc2009 (talk) 08:10, 27 February 2014 (UTC)[reply]
    • Not sure what you're looking for. Do you mean recovery of nK remains or what the nKs did to recover remains? I'll cogitate. At present, though, I don't have refs which cover either aspect. (I'm awaiting a journal article which may help.) – S. Rich (talk) 17:17, 5 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
    • The burial of nK & Chinese soldiers is a bit off-topic, but I've added reference to the fact that many of them were repatriated as part of Operation Glory. – S. Rich (talk) 03:05, 17 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

(b) it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).

Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without bias, giving due weight to each.

Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.

Illustrated, if possible, by images:

(a) images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content;

  • Mostly fine. File:UN Memorial Cemetery.JPG may have an issue, though. It is tagged to cover the photograph, but probably also needs a tag to cover the underlying cemetery monument, which I think would be unique enough to carry its own copyright (NB: we could get a second opinion over at the Commons if you disagree). One problem is that South Korea doesn't have commercial freedom of panorama - see here - which might make this difficult under South Korean law. The monument is probably okay under US law, given its pre-1978 date, depending on whether a copyright notice was filed or not (see more on the linked page). Hchc2009 (talk) 09:28, 20 February 2014 (UTC)[reply]

(b) images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.

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