Talk:The Celebration Tour/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: Chrishm21 (talk · contribs) 00:52, 8 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 11:09, 31 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

It is reasonably well written.
a. (prose, spelling, and grammar):

b. (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a. (reference section):

b. (citations to reliable sources):

c. (OR):

d. (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a. (major aspects):

b. (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):

b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/fail:

(Criteria marked are unassessed)

I will get on with this right away, have a Happy New Year! --K. Peake 11:09, 31 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox looks good!
Simply describing as a bacterial infection would work better for the lead, to avoid using the quotation and it is implied as serious from the language of "developed" in this sentence
"the singer had worked with" → "Madonna had worked with"
"to friends lost to HIV-AIDS, and to artists" → "friends lost to HIV/AIDS, and artists" with the wikilink since repeat usage of "to" is not warranted when tribute is used at the start of the sentence
Last para looks good!

"on Billboard's Dance Club Songs chart." → "on the US Billboard Dance Club Songs chart." to specify to readers since this is the first mention of a Billboard chart
A full-stop is not needed after the quote with a question mark since that piece of grammar should end the sentence
"circulating on October" → wouldn't it work better to write "circulating in October 2022" and change early October 2023 later on in this sentence to around a year later?
The January 2023 part would be better to mention Billboard instead of The Sun to indicate to readers more clearly that this was from reliable sources and the word anniversary does not need speech marks around it
Remove overly obvious wikilink on London – one of the most famous cities in the world
"announced the Celebration tour" → "announced the Celebration Tour"
Mention at the point of the tour dare it was in reference to the Truth or Dare film per the source

Quote box looks good!
Maybe it would be worth writing her ideas after "she knows what she wants", as this is what the source indicates?
"watch the show" → "then watch the show" since otherwise the prose implies this was a separate part of his role to checking for the alteration
"or a statement"." → "or a statement."" per MOS:QUOTE on full sentences
People reiterates on two occasions there was actually 3 physical therapists so please alter accordingly
"each representing a decade." → "each representing a decade:" since the quote is explaining the reason behind this and the colon provides an introduction that does not yet exist in prose
"wanted to tell it"." → "wanted to tell it.""

Img looks good!
"On June 24, Madonna" → "On June 24, 2023, Madonna"
The hospital being in New York and Madonna being unresponsive at her home specifically are not sourced
You should not capitalise intensive care unit
Add the several day-stay to prose per the source and how the lead mentions this
"includes the tour"." → "includes the tour."" per MOS:QUOTE
"In late July, Madonna" → "In late July 2023, Madonna"
The part of the quote from "My focus now..." onwards is not source and re-invoke the ref here per direct quotations
Definitely put more of the Pollstar article quoting into your own words per MOS:OVERQUOTE
"On August 15," → "On August 15, 2023,"
Copcabana Beach → Copacabana Beach with the wikilink, per the source and its official name
"quite like this"." → "quite like this.""

Imgs look good!
"she is in the room"." → "she is in the room."" per MOS:QUOTE
Put more of the info about the elements being drawn from for the abstract map of New York into your own words to avoid too much copying of the source
"that refers both the" → "that refers to both the"
"the 1984 MTV Video Music Awards, and a clock." → "the 1984 MTV Video Music Awards and a clock's shape." per the source
[24] should be after vast circular lighting rig instead since that is the only part of this sentence it backs up

Imgs look good!
"created their "dream" → "each created their "dream" to specify these were different ones
"On February," → "In February 2023,"
A full-stop is not needed after the quote with a question mark since that piece of grammar should end the sentence
""Bad Girl" and" → ""Bad Girl", and"
""Mother and Father" (2003) and" → ""Mother and Father" (2003), and"
Pipe cover to Cover version

"On July, The New York Times" → "In July 2023, The New York Times"
Imgs look good!
"Madonna dons a" → "Madonna donned a" to be consistent with the past tense
Sexual liberation should not be surrounded by quotation marks
"A black mini dress with conical cups," → "a black mini dress with conical cups," but where are the conical cups sourced?
Add a comma before the blue colour
"based on the 2000s," → "based on the 2010s," per the source
Remove the speech marks around "to the metaverse"

Pipe Tennessee Senate Bill 3 to Tennessee Adult Entertainment Act and re-invoke the ref here since it uses a direct quote
Herb Ritts is not sourced as being one of these people

Img looks good!
"who's wearing a" → "who wears a"
Remove repeat links on "Nothing Really Matters" "Holiday", "Live to Tell" and "Like A Prayer" in prose – already done in production
Pipe trenchcoat to Trench coat
Remove repeat link on Prince
""Erotica"'s performed with the singer and troupe" → ""Erotica"'s performed with Madonna and the troupe" with no wikilink here nor on boxing
Remove repeat links on "Papa Don't Preach" and "Justify My Love"
Remove overly obvious link on Dominican
Remove repeat links on "Bad Girl" and "Vogue"
"the troupe, including Madonna's daughter Estere," → "the troupe, including Estere," per her already having been introduced
Remove repeat links on "Crazy For You" and "Don't Tell Me"
Img looks good!
You should not capitalise rainbow flag
Remove repeat link on "Bedtime Story"
"Madonna and Michael Jackson interact" → "Madonna and Jackson interact" per him already having been mentioned
Why is the last para in the past tense while the rest is in present tense and this one does not seem to be about a single concert?