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Talk:The Art Teacher/Archive 1

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Sources

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---Another Believer (Talk) 19:22, 10 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Copy editing

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I have accepted the request to copyedit this article. I'll keep you posted on how the work is progressing! David Thibault (talk) 19:02, 19 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you! ---Another Believer (Talk) 19:14, 19 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Another Believer: Copy editing completed! I've posted some queries below. They're pretty straightforward, but if you want me to look things over once you've made changes please let me know! It looks like a great article! David Thibault (talk) 22:36, 20 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
@David Thibault: Thank you very much! ---Another Believer (Talk) 22:41, 20 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Copy editing queries

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section.
Lead
  • I recommend adding some more information regarding the last two works mentioned in the lead (“Vibrate…” and “Rufus Wainwright: Live from the Artists Den”). Are they concert films (DVDs)? Live albums?
 Done ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:10, 20 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Composition
  • Near the beginning of the second paragraph, a square bracket appears inside a quote. I’m not sure if this is just a typo, or if another character should be in its place:
‘…with Wainwright's "round vocals [leaping from deep lows to piqued highs".’
 Done Meant to note the tense change. ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:12, 20 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • In the second paragraph, the second quote by Stephen Deusner (“…over a Philip Glass prism…”) does not fit with the first quote. I recommend adding some additional text to bridge the two quotes.
    • @David Thibault: I'm a bit confused here. Are you able to suggest specific changes or wording? ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:20, 20 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
      • I've consulted the source material for the Stephen Deusner quote. The issue I stated above was that the broken-up quote would benefit from some bridging text. Below is a suggested revision:
Possible Revision: Pitchfork's Stephen Deusner described "The Art Teacher" as "a woman remembering her first love, the instructor of the title who turned her on to Romantic painter J. M. W. Turner", with the story told "over a Philip Glass prism of piano chords, a plaintive horn, and a slightly sped-up tempo". David Thibault (talk) 19:13, 21 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Ah, I see now. Thanks. I've added your suggested wording. ---Another Believer (Talk) 21:43, 21 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Recordings and performances
  • In the first paragraph, where was the Want Two version recorded? If it is the same recording as the EP version (just with an added horn solo), the text should be rewritten to show this. If it was recorded at a different venue, additional text should be added for the readers.
    • I will double check, but I am pretty sure the recording is the same (meaning from the same date and venue), but with the added horn solo. Does "overdubbed" but imply the same recording but with an added layer? I feel like saying more would be redundant... ---Another Believer (Talk) 01:20, 21 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
      • If the recording date and venue are the same, and the only difference is the added horn solo, I recommend the following revision to keep everything accurate:
Possible revision: The track was recorded live at Le Metropolis in Montreal. According to The Guardian's Alexis Petridis, the live recording is "unadorned – you can hear Wainwright gasping for breath between each line". The EP version is slightly different from the Want Two version, which features an overdubbed horn solo. David Thibault (talk) 19:13, 21 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Perfect, thanks!  Done ---Another Believer (Talk) 21:48, 21 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Reception
  • In the first paragraph there is text that says there are four tracks in total on Waiting for a Want (Bud Scoppa’s review), but the infobox at the top of the article only lists two tracks.
    • @David Thibault: I'm not sure what you mean here. Waiting for a Want does have 4 tracks. Where are you seeing an infobox showing only 2 tracks? ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:17, 20 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
    • The top right corner of the article has a box with information about the song and album, but it only lists "The Art Teacher" and "Gay Messiah" as tracks 1 and 2. The other two tracks ("This Love Affair" and "Waiting for a Dream") are not listed. Do you want them to be? I feel they should be listed to achieve completeness. If they are, they should listed in the correct order. David Thibault (talk) 19:13, 21 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
      • Oh, I see what you mean. This is correct use of the template, which displays only the tracks immediately before and after the track being discussed as the subject of the Wikipedia article. There is no need to include all track titles, as those are found on the Wikipedia article about the EP. Thanks! ---Another Believer (Talk) 21:50, 21 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
References

 Doing... Thanks, David Thibault, I will review these and update the article accordingly, soon. ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:01, 20 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

You're welcome! I'm available if you have any questions! David Thibault (talk) 23:04, 20 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
I do have a couple questions. Once addressed, I'll consider nominating this article for Good status. Thanks again for your help. ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:20, 20 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
@Another Believer: I've responded to the three queries posted above! Please let me know when you've looked at them! David Thibault (talk) 19:13, 21 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
@David Thibault: Thanks again. I've replied to your three comments and implemented two changes to the article based on your suggestions. Unless you have any other concerns, I'll nominate this for Good article status very soon. ---Another Believer (Talk) 21:51, 21 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
@Another Believer: The changes look good! I hope the article is successful achieving Good article status! I really enjoyed working on it! David Thibault (talk) 23:49, 21 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA toolbox
Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:The Art Teacher/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 19:19, 11 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead
Composition
Recordings and performances
Reception
  • I am not sure about the structure of the first two paragraphs. I would organize them by some sort of theme or topic if possible. Please reference the following resource to see what I mean. The content is good, but there should be some sort of narrative or organization tactic if possible.
Credits and personnel
External links
Final comments
Verdict
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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