Talk:Super Mario Galaxy/GA3

GA Review

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 15:09, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I will review this. MWright96 (talk) 15:09, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Premise and setting

Celestial Object, Gravitional force and Wii Message Board are dab links
Fixed. JAGUAR 18:44, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
"that provide access to the forty-two galaxies available in the game" - forty-two should be in number form for consistency

Good catch. JAGUAR 18:44, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Controls

Ice skating is a dab link

Fixed. JAGUAR 18:44, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Power-ups and lives

Health meter and checkpoint are dab links

Fixed. JAGUAR 18:44, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Plot

Mushroom Kingdom is linked twice

Removed. JAGUAR 18:44, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Remove the outer space wikilink since its already in the gameplay section

Removed. JAGUAR 18:44, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Development

Remove both links to outer space

Done. JAGUAR 18:46, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

" life meter to 3 from 8" - spell out 3 and 8

Done. JAGUAR 18:46, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

"Miyamoto thought that it was too easy and lacked insensitivity, asserting that a game loses its excitement when it is made too easy." - reptition of too easy

Rephrased. JAGUAR 18:46, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

"Shimizu also had a negative reaction to the idea. Shimizu" - usage of "Shimizu" in close proximity

Fixed. JAGUAR 18:46, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

"Iwata noted that Mario's Bee Suit was popular with women, and also stated that Mario's other suits were designed to add variations to the gameplay." - the character would be better to avoid reptition

Done, thanks. JAGUAR 18:46, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Music

"Yokota almost quit his job," - quit is American style spelling

Yeah, perhaps. I've used "resigned" instead. JAGUAR 18:49, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

"in contrast to the tropical sounds of Super Mario Bros.. " - remove the second full stop

Super Mario Bros. has a full stop in its title, so the full stop after the game is correct. You should have seen the fun I had with Nights into Dreams...! JAGUAR 18:49, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

" stating that the control schemes more subtle and persuasive as opposed to the "vigorous literalism" of The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess." - missing "were"

Good catch! JAGUAR 18:50, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

References

Reference 29 is dead

Wayback Machine couldn't find it, so I had to remove it. JAGUAR 18:57, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

References 59 and 60 are lacking access dates

Added. JAGUAR 18:57, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Overall very-well written. Possibly one of your best works. On hold for now. MWright96 (talk) 18:29, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@MWright96: thanks for the review, and the compliment! I've addressed all of the issues. I might even consider taking this to FA, which I strangely wasn't aiming for. JAGUAR 18:57, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Jaguar: Best of luck if you choose the FA route. Promoting to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 19:02, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]