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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: ComputerJA (talk · contribs) 18:09, 29 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

GA review

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Review

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May I propose something for the article? I really want to see this one pass, and I think separating the Plot and Gameplay section into two separate sections would be much better. As I read through it a few minutes ago, I couldn't distinguish what was part was the plot and what was the gameplay. Separating the two sections will allow you to expand the Plot a lot more without the needed of sources; just don't forget that you'll need sources if you plan to expand the Gameplay section! I'll be reviewing the other sections for now and be posting my concerns. Thanks. ComputerJA () 18:48, 29 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I copy edited and peer reviewed this article recently, and many of my points were left unaddressed, in case you're interested (or uninterested in duplicating the work): Wikipedia:Peer review/Sonic the Hedgehog (1991 video game)/archive1 czar · · 20:44, 29 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Plot and gameplay have been separated, although the plot section is now very short. It may need to be expanded upon, although this may be limited by the plot's simplicity.EnglishEfternamn*t/c* 23:47, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Cool, thanks for your patience. Just make sure everything in the Gameplay section is cited appropriately (at least one source per paragraph), and make sure that everything in the text can be attributed to the sources. I discussed at the WikiProject video games whether we should divide the Plot and Gameplay sections, and two different perspectives were given (see [1]). We can either leave the Plot and Gameplay sections separately or merge them together and place the Plot at the very end. (I'd say you leave it how it is right now, as you work on citing everything, and then we can put the plot at the end without the need of sources). Cheers, ComputerJA () 06:23, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Initial comments

Having read the entire article, I think it is very well written. I like that you included details on the creation of the game and its later versions. That requires some research, and I'm very impressed with the work done so far. Now, below are some of my concerns as I read along. I did some minor copyediting, too, so please go back and check if I indadvertedly made any mistakes or if you disagree with any of my changes. Also, consider going back to the peer review sheet and address those concerns too. If you disagree with any of them, please post them here. (see Wikipedia:Peer review/Sonic the Hedgehog (1991 video game)/archive1).

  • Apple's iOS in the spring of 2009 – Please change the date per WP:SEASON
  • which also got released to Steam. – Steam directs to a different article. What does steam mean in the context you are using?
  • even after 16 years, the game still looks great. You'll be impressed by the clarity and color that come through [...] Few people realize how difficult it was to create Sonic's graphics engine, which allowed for the incredible rate of speed the game's known for. But the technical achievement impressed back in '91, and still does so today – In my opinion, the quote is a bit too long. Consider revising per WP:QUOTEFARM.
  • United States nearly two to one during the 1991 holiday season – Please consider revising to a specific date. Readers unfamiliar with the U.S. will not know when this occurred.
  • element of momentum-based physics to the standard platform formula – I do not know what this means. Do you think that linking the terms or adding a footnote might help? I highly doubt an average videogame reader knows what momentum-based physics gameplay is. If possible, you may want to simplify it.
  • franchise has also expanded into other media – You might want to change the last word. I am not sure if toys can be categorized as media.
  • In the "In other games" section, can you explain the importance of Green Hill Zone or how it is tied in to the original game? The only mention of Green Hill Zone outside of that section is in the picture. Consider explaining its role in the Plot or Gameplay sections when you expand them.

I'll be reviewing the sources individually for the next stage of this review. I'll leave the Ploy and Gameplay sections unreviewed until the work is done to fix the section (see above for the details). Thanks for your work on this one! ComputerJA () 00:45, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewing sources

Here are my concerns for the sources. Thanks! ComputerJA () 03:12, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Development for Sonic the Hedgehog began in April 1990 … five-person group changed its name to Sonic Team – Source does not say that it was in April, nor does it say it was five people. It says it was a group of 15. Please consider adding sources and/or changing the information.
  • The game uses the on-board Yamaha YM2612synthesizer sound chip to produce a variety of stereo sound effects and music … The Vector character was later re-designed and featured in the games Knuckles' Chaotix and Sonic Heroes. – This information is not found on the source.
  • Please fix source 9 and make it a full citation. Use source 10 as an example. See WP:CITEHOW.
  • The 8-bit version was released for the Sega Master System and the Game Gear. – When was it released?
  • special "Anniversary Mode" featuring the Spin Dash move that was not originally implemented until Sonic the Hedgehog 2. – I could not find any mention of the Anniversary Mode or the Spin Dash in the text.
  • In addition, the view is slightly zoomed in and adapted for the GBA'swidescreen aspect ratio. – Ditto.
  • Please make source 15 into a full citation.
  • Sonic the Hedgehog has been available for all three main seventh generation video game consoles. – Could not find this in the source either.
  • It was ported by Backbone Entertainment to the Xbox Live Arcade in 2007 – Backbone Entertainment is not mentioned in the source.
  • Additionally, Sonic the Hedgehog has been released digitally on a number of other platforms. In 2007, the game was made available on the iTunes Store as a game for the iPod Nano with video, the iPod Classic, and iPod with video. – The link [2], at least in my laptop, directs to a search engine. Do you know if you can cite this information with other explicit references?
  • Sega made the first two games available for Apple's iOS in the spring of 2009 – Not in source either. I think the link is dead and might have direct it elsewhere. Please consider adding a new source.
  • Please make sources 27, 29, 31, 38, 39, 40, 41 43, 44, 45, 46, and 47 full citations (For 39 and 41, however, I think you can fix the video exactly where the information is found; your call).
  • Please fix source 38 into a standard citation.
Done. Gamespot source.EnglishEfternamn*t/c* 23:36, 30 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is source 43 a reliable one?
  • Sega Superstars Tennis features tennis courts that take place in Green Hill and Scrap Brain. – Not mentioned in the source.
  • For the game's 20th anniversary, Sega released Sonic Generations, which contains a remake of the Green Hill level. – Source does not mention any anniversary.
  • Oh, and don't forget to add sources to the [Citation needed] templates! Thanks!

Given the GA nomination rules, I am going to have to fail this nomination. A week has passed all my concerns have gone unaddressed. But feel free to renominate this article when everything has been addressed accordingly. Thanks to all who worked on this article. Cheers, ComputerJA () 17:24, 6 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Good call. I've been a long time maintainer of the article...and as much as I keep vandalism off of it, I do recognize that it's not even really close to GA status... Sergecross73 msg me 17:29, 6 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you. The prose is pretty good, but I think what killed it was the source attribution. It's really disappointing to have to fail this. ComputerJA () 18:01, 6 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]