Talk:So Long Self

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:So Long Self/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Basilisk4u (talk · contribs) 03:12, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

Hi! I will review this article. Basilisk4u (talk) 03:12, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

Notes

Lead

• It says "written and performed" in the first sentence, and "Written and composed" in the second sentence, no need for second mention
  • Fixed
• Is the song actually about a breakup with sin? Because in the "Background and composition" section, it says it is about breaking up with yourself. Also, add the fact that it is a figurative breakup, not a literal one.
  • Fixed

• Hmm actually could you change it to "one's self"? This is the only remaining issue I have. Basilisk4u (talk) 19:29, 9 December 2011 (UTC)

• Occasionally, replace "MercyMe" with "the band" or "the group" to avoid repetition
  • Dones
• Add something about critical reception in the lead, just a brief "'So Long Self' received positive reviews from critics, who praised the song's hook" is good
  • Done
• Spell out all chart positions ("number one", "number sixteen", etc.)
  • Done
• There is a bit too much chart info in the lead. The song charting at number sixty-one is not needed here
  • Done, streamlined information and omitted the decade-end rank.

Background and composition

• What does Bart Millard mean when he says "It’s Not About Us"? Is this about the band breaking up? Clarify this.
  • Done.
• "It was recorded in Allaire Studios in Shokan, New York;[2] overdubs..." Citation is not needed in the middle of a sentence, especially when the same citation is at the end of the sentence.
  • Done
• "The song is lyrically about a break-up with sinful human nature" Put this in the first paragraph, where you talk about the lyrics
  • Done

Reception

• Make sure that when "So Long Self" is being discussed, it only has one quote around it (Example: "["So Long Self"] has mass appeal musically and lyrically" should be "['So Long Self'] has mass appeal musically and lyrically"
  • Done
• For the "Chart performance" section, have all chart positions spelled out like in the lead
  • Done

Music video

• "When the band realize they cannot possibly..." ---> "When the band realizes it cannot possibly..."
  • Done
• "they exit the vehicle to stop the doppelgängers" Use "the group exits". Also, "to stop the doppelgängers" sounds a bit strange. Consider rewording.
  • Done, changed to 'imposters'
• I don't think the image of the band in the music video can be used as it violates WP:NFC#UUI
  • Which part does it violate? It only seems to even be in question with rule 1.

• The problem is that since the band members are currently living, the photo could technically be replaced with a free image. And the reader would not lack understanding of the subject if the photo was not there. This can be worked out later though, as I am not an expert on this. It will not affect the GA review. Basilisk4u (talk) 19:29, 9 December 2011 (UTC)

Charts

• The "Weekly charts" section does not cite any sources
  • Fixed

References

• Need publishers for references 1, 7, 8, 9, and 20
  • Added publishers for 1, 8, 9, and 20 - 7 already had a publisher (Simpleville Music).
• For all citations of Billboard, you only need to link the work and publisher for the first mention. Delink the rest
  • Done

On hold

I have finished the review and put it on hold for seven days. Address these concerns, and you've got yourself a good article! I am impressed with your dedication to all MercyMe articles. Good luck! Basilisk4u (talk) 04:37, 7 December 2011 (UTC)

I believe I have corrected these issues. Toa Nidhiki05 20:11, 8 December 2011 (UTC)

I have passed the article. Congratulations! Basilisk4u (talk) 19:58, 11 December 2011 (UTC)