Talk:Snow on the Beach/GA1

GA Review

Passed. Ippantekina (talk) 07:04, 27 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Ippantekina (talk · contribs) 03:34, 21 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Happy to take up this review as I'm not a main contributor of this article. Will try to be as neutral as I can. Ippantekina (talk) 03:34, 21 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Hey @Ippantekina! I believe all comments are addressed and you can review the edits I made. Gained (talk) 08:38, 26 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

On first glance the article is in good shape. This first review will focus on the prose.

Lead

"Snow on the Beach" is a song by the American singer-songwriter Taylor Swift featuring the American singer-songwriter Lana Del Rey somehow clunky.. I suggest something like: ""Snow on the Beach" is a song from the American singer-songwriter Taylor Swift's tenth studio album, Midnights (2022). The song features the American singer-songwriter Lana Del Rey." Repharsed.
a dream pop tune featuring a midtempo, wintery production "wintery" is POV Removed.
a version featuring "More Lana Del Rey", ~~with additional vocals from the artist~~ pretty self-explanatory Removed.
on the United States' Billboard Hot 100 "US Billboard Hot 100" for concision Implemented.

Background

and that it features the American singer-songwriter Lana Del Rey, who Swift had previously named as one of her favorite music artists[3][7] and the most influential artist in pop.[8] should be "whom", also the later part is quite unnecessary.. ("the most influential artist in pop") Implemented "whom" and removed the latter.

Music and lyrics

"Snow on the Beach" is a dream pop tune[9] written by Swift, Antonoff, and Del Rey, with the first two handling production.[10] I prefer the active voice to the passive mostly... I suggest: "Swift, Antonoff, and Del Rey wrote "Snow on the Beaach", and the first two produced the track. It is a dream pop tune..." Repharased.
It is 4 minutes and 16 seconds ~~in length~~ Removed.
have been compared to holiday music by whom? (WP:ATTRIBUTION) Done.
Do you mean it's Haworth, New Jersey and not Hayworth? Also please link it because it is not a common geography Done. I believe it was a typo in the Pitchfork source.
Include the personnel who recorded, mixed, and mastered the track Implemented.
deemed the production of the track as wintery Removed.
Spencer Kornhaber of The Atlantic cited the song as an example of Antonoff's musical style that doesn't make Midnights a repetitive album this fits more into the "Critical reception" section. Moved to "Critical reception".
the work of American composers Philip Glass and Steve Reich "the American composers" Implemented.
a love song about ~~the~~ two people falling in love at the same time Removed.
and doesn't want to reveal it to the public "does not" to ensure a formal tone throughout Done.
It is also where she references Janet Jackson's "All for You" (2001) do we have the lyric? Done.

— Ippantekina (talk) 04:51, 26 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Release

Del Rey acted as more of a background vocalist for Swift this is not a fact but rather an opinion; consider rephrasing it i.e. "Some publications regarded Del Rey's role on the track as a background vocalist and found her vocals indistinguishable from Swift's" Rephrased.
I think I saw a video where Del Rey said something like "If it ain't broke, don't fix it", justifying Swift's original version. Might be helpful to add to this section if we have a source. ~~Doing~~ Done. Oh! That one interview with Harper Bazzar. Let me see if I could find something.
on May 26 add the year (2023) Done.
At three minutes and fifty seconds long change it to "3 minutes and 50 seconds" to be consistent with the "Music and lyrics" section Implemented.

Commercial performance

Globally, "Snow on the Beach" received over 15.03 million streams on Spotify in its first 24 hours, where it became the third-most streamed song that day, behind fellow Midnights tracks "Anti-Hero" and "Lavender Haze" "In its first day of release, "Snow on the Beach" received over 15.03 million streams on Spotify globally, becoming the day's third-most streamed song behind..." Done.
the first and only artist to occupy the entire top 10 of the Hot 100 I would add "at the same time" Implemented.
It also marked Del Rey's first top five entry on the chart and her second top 10 entry after "Summertime Sadness" (2012) "top-five" and "top-10" (add the hyphen) Done.
reached the top ten "top 10" for consistency Done.
received certifications from Australia "in Australia" Done.
the UK "the United Kingdom" (consistency with "the United States") Done.

Critical reception

was generally praised for its lyrics and ~~the~~ production Removed.
Ruggieri ~~of USA Today~~ not needed as we already introduced her publication before Removed.
a "gorgeous ballad." "gorgeous ballad". (quotation mark before full stop per MOS:") Done.
works by her peers "by Swift's peers"? Rephrased.
"sonically adventurous." "sonically adventurous". ditto Done.
Spanos ~~of Rolling Stone~~ ditto Done.
From this section, it seems that this song received a mixed reaction rather than a generally positive one. Consider changing this for the lead and first paragraph. Done.

References

Some ref errors need to be fixed Done.
Set The New York Times and the Los Angeles Times as |url-access=limited instead of |subscription= Done.
Set all Rolling Stone sources to |url-access=limited as well Done.
Please ensure to link all of the websites/newspapers/magazines/publishers in the references as per WP:OVERLINK Implemented.

This concludes my first round for this GAN. Overall the article is in decent shape. Will have a second read-through as well as a spotcheck round to ensure WP:V. Do ping me when everything's checked! @Gained: Ippantekina (talk) 09:08, 26 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@Ippantekina, I believe that everything has been addressed. I also converted all pre-existing citations to title cases to comply with MOS:CONFORMTITLE. You can check all of those out as well as the edits I made like before. Gained (talk) 10:57, 26 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Kudos for going the extra mile with the ref-title formats! Ippantekina (talk) 04:41, 27 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks! :) Gained (talk) 05:30, 27 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Spotchecks

The prose is fine, sources are properly formatted, but please remove the quotation marks (") and replace them with apostrophes (') in the ref titles (Template:Cite web#Title). One last criterion is the verifiability of the sources. Some random spotchecks:

"Snow on the Beach" is a dream pop tune that runs for 4 minutes and 16 seconds.[9][10] Y
Del Rey's vocals on the track are minimal and harmonize with Swift's.[14] Y
Wohlmacher wrote that the track incorporates classical elements and thought it resembles the work of the American composers Philip Glass and Steve Reich.[15] Y
It is also where she references Janet Jackson and her song "All for You" (2001): "Now I'm all for you like Janet/ Can this be a real thing, can it?".[22] Y the Today source only cites the first lyric Added another source.
which surprised fans that expected a duet.[23] Y
At three minutes and fifty seconds, Del Rey sings the entire second verse and chorus.[31][32] Y the source only says "second verse" and not "chorus". Also I missed a grammar point here: "The "More Lana" version is 3 minutes and 50 seconds, and on it, Del Rey sings..." Implemented.
It also marked Del Rey's first top five entry on the chart and her second top-10 entry after "Summertime Sadness" (2012).[37] Y
After the release of The Til Dawn Edition of Midnights, "Snow on the Beach" re-entered the Hot 100 at number 30.[39] N kind of WP:OR because the source does not mention the Til Dawn Edition Replaced source.
Jon Caramanica for The New York Times commended Del Rey's vocals on the track, but believed that Swift's vocals were too "cheery" for the track to ascend N we're missing the ref here. Added source.
Writing for The Guardian, Alexis Petridis praised the restrained collaboration but thought it was far from a "grandstanding summit" between them.[66] Y reading the Petridis review, I find his comment somehow more positive than mixed; he actually said it was "beautifully done" and that the "restrained" vocals were beautiful Rephrased.

Overall the prose appears to be verifiable by sources despite a few misses. Happy to give the article a pass once all is addressed :) Ippantekina (talk) 04:41, 27 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@Ippantekina. I believe it's all done! Gained (talk) 05:29, 27 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Great work! Passing ;) Ippantekina (talk) 07:04, 27 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.