Talk:Sheshi/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Tim riley (talk · contribs) 21:46, 11 November 2015 (UTC)

Starting first read-through. More to follow a.s.a.p. Tim riley talk 21:46, 11 November 2015 (UTC)

Great thank you, I am looking forward to your review. Iry-Hor (talk) 09:11, 12 November 2015 (UTC)

Comments and suggestions

First lot; more to come:

• WP:EDITORIAL
  • Nothing serious, but there are five "indeeds" in the text, and it wouldn't hurt to lose a couple.

Y Done I have kept only one! The others were clearly superfluous. Iry-Hor (talk) 08:27, 14 November 2015 (UTC)

• Nomen and prenomen on seals
  • "Egyptologists universally believe that Maaibre was the prenomen of Sheshi" – that's a very strong claim. Can you prove that absolutely every Egyptologist thinks so? Otherwise I think you should modify this to something like "The consensus among Egyptologists is that Maaibre was the prenomen of Sheshi."

Y Done, I am yet to encounter a source disagreeing with this but it is better to be safe than to be wrong.

• Location of the finds
  • "Over 80% of the seals" – the Manual of Style recommends avoiding the % symbol in prose, and using instead the word form – "per cent" if writing in English and "percent" if in American English.

Y done, thank you for pointing this out. Iry-Hor (talk) 08:27, 14 November 2015 (UTC)

• Location of the finds
  • I can't work out your policy on when to give numbers as digits and when as words: "three seals have been unearthed … and a further 8 are from the wider Delta region. Four seals … and a further five…". (The "2 seal impressions" in the previous section looked a bit odd to my eye, too.)

Y Fixed! I try to write down numbers lower than ten and write the others with digits. The "8" and "2" are mistakes. Iry-Hor (talk) 08:27, 14 November 2015 (UTC)

• Vassal of the Hyksos
  • It doesn't bother me much, but I notice that in the third para you open a sentence with "Thus" followed by a comma, having in the previous para opened a sentence with "Thus" with no comma. Either is fine (I'd use a comma, myself) but perhaps consistency is desirable.

Y Fixed. Iry-Hor (talk) 08:27, 14 November 2015 (UTC)

• King of the 14th Dynasty
  • I'm probably exposing my ignorance here, but if I am right in thinking "Hyksos" has an aspirated H (as in the English "Henry" or German "Heinrich" as opposed to the French "Henri") then I think "was an Hyksos king" should be "was a Hyksos king". Same in the lead.

Y I must say I actually have no idea: as I am not a native English speaker, my pronunciation is not reliable. I will follow you on this! Iry-Hor (talk) 08:27, 14 November 2015 (UTC)

After a further reading I have found no more points to quibble at, and it gives me much pleasure to promote the article to GA.

Overall summary

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose quality:

   B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. References to sources:

   Well referenced.

   B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

   Well referenced.

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B. Focused:

4. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

   Well illustrated.

   B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:

   Well illustrated.

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Tim riley Thank you for your review! I will nominate Sheshi at FAC some time soon. Iry-Hor (talk) 21:55, 15 November 2015 (UTC)