Talk:Parischnogaster nigricans serrei

Peivaz's Edits

Generally speaking, there were a couple of things that I focused on particularly. At a very basic level, I made grammar edits and fixed typos. I also tried to rearrange sentences and make them more concise so that the article felt a little bit denser. Furthermore, I tried to make the voice a little bit more active and if I noticed a verb in the past tense, I changed it to the present tense so that it made it seem that the information was still relevant. I felt like there were some other aspects of the article that were lacking a little bit and if they were remedied would add a lot of value to the article. First off, especially in the anatomy section, there were a lot of scientific terms that were either not explained nor were they linked to other wikipedia articles. Linking them or explaining them would help the reader follow along much easier. Furthermore, the organization of the article (more specifically in the behavior section) could be changed a little bit to flow better and make more sense chronologically. Lastly, I would suggest discussing certain behaviors a little more. “Hovering” seems to be a different behavior from normal wasps. Since this seems unique to this genus or species, I think it would be worthwhile to great a section on hovering. Furthermore, there was a ton of emphasis put on the hygiene of the wasps and the maintenance of its nest. I’m extremely curious as to why this plays such a huge role and whether or not there is any empirical evidence associated with a cleaner nest. Peter Eivaz — Preceding undated comment added 02:48, 27 October 2014 (UTC)

Alex's Comments

Your article is great! It is well cited and well written. I added links to some vocabulary words to their respective Wikipedia articles to make some parts more informative. You included lots of informative sections and made this wasp seem very cool. One thing I think you could make more clear are the parts about alarm call defense. I’m kind of confused how a wasp can call; maybe you could include more information about exactly how the wasp does it? Also, could you perhaps expand more on the predation section? Perhaps you could talk about more about their predator-prey interaction and how they co-evolved such a defense strategy. Have the ants evolved a way to get around these “ant guards” they make? Finally, if you could get some pictures that satisfy the Creative Commons requirements, I think that would really spice up your article. Ajlu1 (talk)

Zroscope Edits

Wikilinked any words that had pages yet were not hyperlinked yet. I may have missed the more common words. Added missing Vespidae class banner to talk page. Made small grammar edits that I felt were necessary. Edited spelling mistakes.
Under the header "Social Organization", I changed the sentence towards the end "...In other words, while the dominant alpha female has the most developed, largest ovaries and are the ones present in the nest for the majority of the time, other subordinate females have smaller ovaries and are often absent from the nest and typically engaging in foraging activities" to "In other words, while the dominant alpha female has the most developed, largest ovaries and is present in the nest for the majority of the time, subordinate females have smaller ovaries and are often absent from the nest, typically engaging in foraging activities". I believed you were talking about the alpha female staying in the nest for the majority of the time, not her large ovaries. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Under "Caste Differntiation" I changed "but pre-imaginal differences are not found, at least as of now, in hover wasp species" to "but as of now, pre-imaginal differences have not been found in hover wasp species".
Under "Elementary Behaviors", it would be helpful to explain that these findings/results came from one specific experiment (I believe that's where you got the info from), and to list which experiment it was, briefly, in one sentence. Under "Ant guard construction", who is Williams? Can you link to 'em?
Changed this "Larvae usually feed on liquid drops regurgitated by females or solid food, which includes various arthropods caught from spider webs, chewed by adult female for a considerable amount of time" to this "Larvae usually feed on liquid drops regurgitated by females. The females acquire these drops from solid food, which includes various arthropods caught from spider webs, that is then chewed on by adult females for a considerable amount of time".
Under "With Larvae (larval care), this sentence is confusing : "Unlike other social wasps, adult P. nigricans serrei wasps barely use their antennae by keeping them apart and only touch the sides of the larva." The wasps only touch the sides of the larvae with one antennae at a time? What, exactly, is going on?
"...larvae will react in the same way by relaxing and opening up" Opening up their mouths, right?
Under "Abdominal secretion collection and oviposition" here "placing its posterior and middle legs on the nest with its gaster bent towards the mouth". Towards the mouth of the nest or the wasp?
"After some time, the wasp emits an egg with its mandibles" Is the wasp pulling the egg from its rear end or...well it sounds like the eggs come out of its mouth...
"and it consists of three distinct phases:..." You might consider putting the three phases into list form later. Changed present tense into past tense since you were talking about an experiment that already occurred.
Changed "In captivity, P. nigricans serrei are able to easily pluck" to "In captivity, P. nigricans serrei have been reported to have easily plucked off small crickets or flies (typically Drosophilae), which were attached to the windows of a cage with drops of honey when they were captured" since you are referencing one past specific experiment.
Under "Defense" in sentence "it has been observed that females will leave their nest to contact the nonresidents in flight and then quickly return to the colony for protection", who are the nonresidents? "In flight" means the female is in flight during contact?
Your references don't link to anything. Might want to change that. Zroscope (talk) 01:08, 24 October 2014 (UTC)

Amgoldberg15 Comments

I have a few suggestions to make this article a Good Article. This article has a lot of interesting information. It has a lot of words and would benefit from the addition of pictures. I fi There is a lot of information in the behavior section and I think it could be organized in a better chronological way that would flow better. Wikipedia likes shorter paragraphs and it is a lot of information to read it one place; if it could be in multiple headings that would be better. It is a little confusing because there are some headings on the outline that don’t have their own information under them but are similar size in font to the sections below it. If they all fall under that heading consider making it its own section. Overall, great job! Amgoldberg15 (talk) 23:13, 20 November 2014 (UTC)

Rey_ks comments

This is a really great article. It covers a lot of information very concisely. I have some minor suggestions for how to make the structure a little more logical but other than that this article is very close to satisfying “Good Article” standing. As for the Elementary and Extranidal behavior section, while the information provided is helpful and important, the organization is inconsistent with the following sections. The numbering works for the Colony cycle section because it goes in sequential order, but for these behaviors I think it would make more sense to have these as separate categories under sub-headings rather than as numbered points in the article. I think you could fix this by adding a few transition sentences between the different types of behaviors. Lastly, if there is more information about the range of this species it would be helpful to include that as well. Overall I was very impressed with the content of the article. It is very well written and is well-rounded but also pays sufficient attention to detail. Rey_ks (talk) 18:15, 20 November 2014 (UTC)