Talk:Ocean Parkway (Brooklyn)/GA1
GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Nominator: Epicgenius (talk · contribs) 22:18, 14 July 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: NoobThreePointOh (talk · contribs) 21:56, 27 July 2024 (UTC)
I'll review this and add comments in a while. NoobThreePointOh (talk) 21:56, 27 July 2024 (UTC)
- GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check.
- a (reference section):
b (inline citations to reliable sources):
c (OR):
d (copyvio and plagiarism):
- a (reference section):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects):
b (focused):
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):
b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
Article looks professionally written, so am placing this on hold. NoobThreePointOh (talk) 19:42, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
Spot-checks
[edit]4: I'm not able to access this source, even through the archive that appears below, as it shows an error. Do you happen to have another source or are you able to fix it?
9: I thought this was a little peculiar, but I read through it, and realized it was an old report about Olmstead and the parkway, so I let it go.
10: Checks out.
Everything seems to be fine, outside of source 4, since I can't access that due to a site or server error, even with the archived version. I would suggest fixing that one.
- Thanks for the review. I've fixed source 4 and will address the prose issues later. Epicgenius (talk) 20:15, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
Prose
[edit]Commercial vehicles are banned from Ocean Parkway
Not necessarily required, but I would recommend changing "banned" to less harsher wording like "prohibited" or "not allowed".- Done. Epicgenius (talk) 20:23, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
The outermost roadways are service roads, the inner westbound roadway carries traffic to Ocean Parkway and Fort Hamilton Parkway
I think replacing the comma with a semicolon would improve the flow of the sentence.- Done. Epicgenius (talk) 20:23, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
which indicate whether drivers must turn onto a service road if they want to make a turn.
Change the first "turn" to something like "exit" or "enter" for consistency.- I changed it to "exit". Epicgenius (talk) 20:23, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
A bike lane extends the parkway's length.
Add the word "along" between "extends" and "the".- Done. Epicgenius (talk) 20:23, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
In 1908 or 1910, a ban on open betting took effect
Which year?- Sources disagree on the exact year, which is why it was worded this way. Epicgenius (talk) 20:23, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
Cycling is no longer allowed on the east mall south of Church Avenue,
I'm a little confused about this. When was cycling originally allowed? Or when was it not allowed after that?- It's complicated. At one point (after 1896) cycling was allowed on both medians, but the sources aren't clear on when the east bike path was removed. I've changed this to "Cycling is not allowed..." Epicgenius (talk) 20:23, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
- Yeah, as I can see in the "Traffic and safety" section, I still see that there's the sentence I mentioned in my top point. You can leave it if you want, but it's just a suggestion.
- Done. Epicgenius (talk) 20:23, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
Ocean Parkway has long been one of Brooklyn's most dangerous streets.
There's a year you might want to explain here so that people can know when it all started. If you don't know, then that's okay.- Unfortunately, there's no exact date for this. It was ranked as one of Brooklyn's most dangerous streets by the late 20th century, but more exact statistics aren't available for previous years. Epicgenius (talk) 20:23, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
The trees along the parkway had not grown to their full sizes, giving the parkway a barebones appearance.
In my opinion, this seems to be slightly POV. Do you think you could change it to "empty" or "sparse"? If you don't want to do that, then suit yourself.- I've changed it to "barren". Epicgenius (talk) 20:23, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
The bike path was almost complete by late 1894,
Was it complete shortly after?- Yes. The exact date is mentioned in the next sentence so I've removed this. Epicgenius (talk) 20:23, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
and the work was completed the following May, giving the thoroughfare a permanent pavement for the first time.
Remove "a".- Done. Epicgenius (talk) 20:23, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
Traffic commissioner Henry Barnes also added parking spaces to the service roads, and he removed parking spaces near intersections to improve visibility
The previous sentence has the word "also", so I would advise removing it from this one and putting "as well" next to "visibility".- Done. Epicgenius (talk) 20:23, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
and there were also concerns that the barriers would encourage speeding.
Remove "also" for better grammar flow here.- Done. Epicgenius (talk) 20:23, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
The project also included new drainage systems, curbs, concrete roadbeds, and pavement.
The next 3 sentences, including this one, have "also" in the sentence. Again, this is just a recommended change, so you don't have to remove it if you please.- I've reworded this. Thanks for the review NoobThreePointOh. Epicgenius (talk) 20:23, 28 July 2024 (UTC)
- No problem. I'm glad to pass this article. Congrats on your 552nd GA! NoobThreePointOh (talk) 20:29, 28 July 2024 (UTC)