Talk:Max Bentley/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Crisco 1492 (talk · contribs · count) 09:45, 25 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I will conduct this review in a few steps. Disclosure: I have previously reviewed this for DYK.

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
	1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	Good
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	Good
	2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	Good
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	Good
	2c. it contains no original research.	Good
	3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	Good
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	Good
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.	Good
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	Within definition
	6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	Acceptable
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	Good
	7. Overall assessment.	Looks good!

Parapharasing: Seems okay (1, 2, 3)

1A

I've done some rather minor copyedits and left a couple of comments. Feedback is appreciated.
I'm less than pleased with "The trio were joined in Drumheller by Doug and Reg for the 1938–39 season and the family operated a gas station in town when not playing hockey" as the two are unrelated (more or less). Two separate sentences would be better.
"when he joined the Canadian Infantry Corps during World War II" -- Since World War II is already in the above paragraph, shouldn't it be dropped from this one?
"Three weeks later, six games into the season, the Maple Leafs completed a deal to acquire Bentley" --> "Three weeks and six games into the season later, the Maple Leafs completed a deal to acquire Bentley"?
"Three weeks later, six games into the season, the Maple Leafs completed a deal to acquire Bentley. He was sent to Toronto with Cy Thomas in exchange for Gus Bodnar, Bud Poile, Gaye Stewart, Ernie Dickens and Bob Goldham, on November 2, 1947." --> I'd put this at the beginning of the Maple Leafs section

3A

"tying the league record for points in one game with seven" - Is it still the record? If so, that should be stated.
Personal life. Married? With whom? How many children?

6

Any chance of finding extra images, perhaps the teams from a certain year or the arenas he played in? I took a look for free images of the man himself, and could find nothing.

Unrelated to the article: Seems Montreal didn't forgive him for beating them. That is a very cold title... "Max Bentley is dead, was artist with puck". Oh, The Hockey Sweater strikes again...

Summary: Just a few touch ups. Crisco 1492 (talk) 11:20, 25 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Appreciate the review! I have fixed all of the technical issues you identified. Finally found a RS with his wife's name, but cannot find anything indicating how many children they had overall, only that his one son was a pro player. (Frustratingly, the Saskatoon Star-Phoenix is the only Western Canadian paper the local library doesn't have microfilm archives of, so I couldn't even find a proper obituary for that info). The timing of his career makes free images very tough to find. Unless an image that is specifically from 1947-48 in Toronto can be found, almost everything would have to be assumed to be under copyright. There is a very, very slim chance that a photograph from the Drumheller Miners might be contained in the collection on the walls of the Stampede Corral in Calgary, but it would be some time before I could even go check on that. Reso lute 16:17, 25 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Did you get a chance to see the hidden text comments I made? There are a couple suggestions there. Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:09, 25 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I hadn't, thanks for the reminder. I've changed a few, but left most alone. If you have a question on any change or not change, let me know! Thanks, Reso lute 15:24, 26 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I am assuming that you don't have an RS for Bev's full name (just curious, as I never knew Bev was a unisex name). Looks good to me. I am happy to pass this nomination. Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:19, 26 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Nope. Near as I can tell, Bev really was his name. Even his Hockeydb profile lists his name as just "Bev". Thanks again for the review. Reso lute 23:39, 26 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]