Talk:Leifang/GA1
GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Nominator: Kung Fu Man (talk · contribs) 11:07, 25 June 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: QuicoleJR (talk · contribs) 14:22, 9 September 2024 (UTC)
This article has been waiting for way too long. I will review it. QuicoleJR (talk) 14:22, 9 September 2024 (UTC)
@Kung Fu Man: Here is the review. QuicoleJR (talk) 16:32, 9 September 2024 (UTC)
- @Kung Fu Man: I looked over the article again. It passed the spot check, and I just have one thing to mention. Do we really need Leifang's exact height and measurements? I don't really see why they would be included. QuicoleJR (talk) 14:59, 11 September 2024 (UTC)
- @QuicoleJR: I always include those if possible as they give the reader a point of reference not only to other characters in the game but other fictional characters. If I say a character is "tall" that can be anything from 5'11" to 8 ft. If I say a character has large breasts that can be a whole range in itself as shown here between Leifang and the other characters. These numbers do provide useful context to the reader.--Kung Fu Man (talk) 22:03, 11 September 2024 (UTC)
- @Kung Fu Man: That makes sense. I don't see any more issues with the article. There could probably be a bit more info on the plot, but I don't think it is enough to hold this article back. I will now be passing it. QuicoleJR (talk) 22:14, 11 September 2024 (UTC)
- @QuicoleJR: I always include those if possible as they give the reader a point of reference not only to other characters in the game but other fictional characters. If I say a character is "tall" that can be anything from 5'11" to 8 ft. If I say a character has large breasts that can be a whole range in itself as shown here between Leifang and the other characters. These numbers do provide useful context to the reader.--Kung Fu Man (talk) 22:03, 11 September 2024 (UTC)
Lead
[edit]has appeared in the series' subsequent installments, as well as spinoff titles such as the Dead or Alive Xtreme series and related media to the franchise.
This bit is a bit long and could be shortened. Maybe just say she became a recurring character in the franchise?- Rewrote this
who snuck a rough version of her character into location test builds of the game
What are location test builds?\- Tweaked. While location tests is a relevant term (they're essentially Early Access builds of arcade games available to the public and media), there's no good target for this, so reworded it a bit to make it clear these were test builds of the games available at events to the public to play.
while also received praise
Grammar issue.- Rewrote.
Conception and creation
[edit]At location tests she became quite popular,
Again, what are location tests?- See above.
Appearances
[edit]One day upon encountering a boy being accosted by two thugs she intervened, she is taken by surprise and received a deep slash on her arm.
The punctuation here needs fixing.- Rewrote.
she is also considered a technical fighter
You should explain what “technical fighter” means.- Rewrote this, put technical in quotes to boot as its gamespot's terminology here and put wording that gives the meaning they indicated by it.
In games outside the Dead or Alive franchise,
This part can be cut, since there is only one.- Tweaked.
Reception
[edit]- The number of quotes could be trimmed a bit. The section is currently made of mostly quotes, many of which could be paraphrased.
- I feel it's not too bad on quotes, while there are several outside of the Kakuchopurei quotes most are very short and give an indication of the author's feelings on the subject related to the character, and help reduce concerns of OR and/or weasel words in that context I feel. I did shorten a few where possible such as the underdog one.
Sources
[edit]- Is Kakuchopurei a reliable source? It hasn't been discussed before AFAICT, and the About Us page wasn't any help.
- I was a bit wary about it at first myself, but discussions at WP:VG/S lean towards reliable due to the EiC's past work and it's ties to other industry aspects, with Ferret going to bat for it and I put a lot of stock in her opinion on such matters.
- Not strictly required, but I would appreciate it if you could find a way to replace a few of the Japanese sources with English sources that support the same information.
- I don't think I can replace many of them here, as they're either interviews, reception or alternatives in english aren't from reliable sources (Case in point only QooApp covered one of the mobile game appearances in english...)
- I will perform the spot check during my second pass over the article.
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.