Talk:Kalorie Karbdashian-Williams/GA1
GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Nominator: Another Believer (talk · contribs)
Reviewer: PCN02WPS (talk · contribs) 20:39, 24 March 2024 (UTC)
I'll take a look at this one. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 20:39, 24 March 2024 (UTC)
- Thank you! Looking forward to collaborating, and happy to address any concerns you may have. ---Another Believer (Talk) 20:45, 24 March 2024 (UTC)
A broad comment, and one that I am genuinely curious about: the pronouns switch a few times throughout, with "he" used in "Early life and education" and before the quote in "Career" but "She" in the last sentence of that section. Do they switch just because we're talking about a female name, even though it's the same male person both times? Again, just genuinely curious.
- Yes, it is common practice to use whichever pronouns are appropriate for the subject in and out of drag. Most often, this means the "Early life and education" and "Personal life" sections may use different pronouns than the "Career" section, which is focused on the drag persona. Of course, there are exceptions; the most important thing is to make a clear distinction about which text is about the drag persona and which is not, and to use preferred gender pronouns for the subject in and out of drag. For examples of similar biographies, I recommend browsing WikiProject Drag Race's Showcase. I hope this helps! ---Another Believer (Talk) 20:59, 24 March 2024 (UTC)
Career
- "...Albuquerque Social Club, and was crowned..." → remove comma
Done ---Another Believer (Talk) 21:02, 24 March 2024 (UTC)
- "On the premiere episode..." → Picky, but I think a minor clarification like "...the premiere episode of the season" would be helpful
- Done ---Another Believer (Talk) 21:02, 24 March 2024 (UTC)
- Could one or two sentences be added just to clarify that (I assume) the bottom two contestants have to lip-sync with the loser being eliminated each episode? Might be helpful for readers who haven't seen the show (myself included).
- I think additional sentences about how the show works might be overkill, but I have tinkered with the wording a bit to make it more clear that a 'battle' between the two contestants ranked lowest is what happened. I am reluctant to say "two" specifically because in some episodes, more than two contestants participate in a lip-sync battle. ---Another Believer (Talk) 21:02, 24 March 2024 (UTC)
Sourcing
- FN 12: Metro is considered generally unreliable per WP:METRO, especially as their web content is concerned. From what I can see, pharmaceutical marketing isn't mentioned explicitly in either source (FN 11,12) that cover the last portion of that sentence, though I could be wrong.
- I have removed the Metro source. I moved the Billboard ref to verify the pharmaceutical marketing claim: the source says, "... and told to create a lip sync performance for the PharmaRusical, a Drag Race-referencing musical act inspired by infamous television pharmaceutical ads". ---Another Believer (Talk) 21:07, 24 March 2024 (UTC)
That's what I've got on first read-through, nice work.
- Thank you! ---Another Believer (Talk) 21:07, 24 March 2024 (UTC)
@PCN02WPS: I think I have addressed your concerns, but please let me know if any remain. ---Another Believer (Talk) 21:08, 24 March 2024 (UTC)
- Awesome! Everything else, prose and spotchecks, look good to me, and thank you for the clarification regarding pronoun usage. Happy to promote! PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 14:32, 25 March 2024 (UTC)
- Thanks again for reviewing! ---Another Believer (Talk) 14:33, 25 March 2024 (UTC)