Talk:Hormizd II/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Royroydeb (talk · contribs) 16:05, 7 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Doing... RRD (talk) 16:05, 7 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

1. Well written:

Criteria	Notes	Result
(a) (prose)	Comments have been added	Pass
(b) (MoS)	"most likely did not take part" - most likely is someone's opinion. It should be "According to Shahbazi, Hormizd..." " It is said that Shapur" - who said?	Pass

The first sentence of lead needs to be rewritten. "the eighth king (shah) of the Sasanian Empire" must be changed to "Shah of the Sasanian Empire". Shah is primarily a title. Putting "the" before it reduces it to a post (ex. the president of India).
It would be better if you could copy the first sentence from Henry III of England and make the necessary changes.
"He was the son...." - It should be "He was a son of and the successor of.." . This change must be done if Narseh had more than one child.
The first sentence of second paragraph again needs to be rewritten / divided into two sentences.
The heading of the "Name" section should be "Etymology". The sole sentence of this paragraph needs to be rewritten.
"this may be his queen " - "this may be his wife".
"which forced him to surrender " - "forcing him to surrender".
"assuming a crown resembling the crown" - makes no sense.
"last years of his reign" - he reigned for two years only. What does "last years" signify here?
In succession section, the first "he" must be replaced by Hormizd.

2. Verifiable with no original research:

Criteria	Notes	Result
(a) (references)	Have a look at MOS:NOTES. The offspring section is completely unsourced. Al-Tabari is primary source.	Pass
(b) (citations to reliable sources)	Pass	Pass
(c) (original research)	None	Pass
(d) (copyvio and plagiarism)	Will check	Pass

3. Broad in its coverage:

Criteria	Notes	Result
(a) (major aspects)	Comments have been added.	Pass
(b) (focused)	Pass	Pass

The name section must be expanded.
"started out as a cruel ruler but then became benevolent" -Explain.
The internal turmoil must be expanded.

4. Neutrality:

Notes	Result
" avenge the humiliating defeat" - humiliating must be removed	Pass

5. Stability:

Notes	Result
Stable	Pass

6. Illustrated:

Criteria	Notes	Result
(a) (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales)	Pass	Pass
(b) (appropriate use with suitable captions)	To prevent MOS:SANDWICH, the first image must be placed at right	Pass

17:35, 9 April 2019 (UTC)

@Royroydeb: Think I've done most of what you asked. As for the internal turmoil part - it's very obscure, there isn't really anything else to write about it, since the only source we have is a rock relief by Hormizd II. Also, the cruel/benevolent ruler part is explained in the quote by al-Tabari. Btw, Hormizd ruled for 7 years. What do you think? --HistoryofIran (talk) 21:11, 9 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@HistoryofIran: I have added more comments. Please have a look. RRD (talk) 16:52, 11 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@Royroydeb: What specific part(s) do you want me to add citations to in the offspring section? Also, I disagree on the "most likely" (or "probably" for that matter) part, as I've seen various GA/FA articles doing that without having to mention the certain author stating that. --HistoryofIran (talk) 20:37, 11 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@HistoryofIran: All the offsprings must be cited. RRD (talk) 11:50, 14 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@Royroydeb: Done, anything else? --HistoryofIran (talk) 12:03, 14 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@HistoryofIran: I will recheck soon. RRD (talk) 08:24, 16 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]