Talk:Gita Gutawa/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: GreatOrangePumpkin (talk · contribs) 12:52, 4 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
The prose not ok. These are just examples from the lead:
"is an Indonesian soprano, actress, and songwriter; she is also the daughter of noted composer Erwin Gutawa." - replace semicolon with period and remove "noted" (seems like POV)

"Although ~~she~~ originally studied piano, Gutawa later switched to vocals." - reads better

"After album featuring the duet sold 800,000 copies, " - this is odd grammar, and what album?

"The success of that album, the self-titled Gita Gutawa, led to ~~her receiving~~ numerous acting and marketing job offers. " - totally redundant

"She has recorded two albums since then" - since when? Since she received "numerous acting and marketing job offers"? Or when she released her album? This is not clear.

"Gutawa resents what she feels is a perception that she became successful through nepotism" - I don't understand what you mean. And how is that notable to know?

or in text below:
"After several performances had to be canceled due to an inability to find band members at short notice, she assembled a band, made up mostly of girls her own age." - this should be definetly reworded
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
Most of sources are not in English, so I don't know how reliable they are. I know The Jakarta Post is reliable, but how are the following:
kapanlagi.com

Entertainment news website with paid journalists. Note how articles like this have a three letter code (or codes; in this case (kpl/wwn/boo)).

Like KapanLagi.com, entertainment website with paid journalists and editorial control.

It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Of course it would be nice to have a picture of Gita.

Sadly I'm batting 0.000 on OTRS requests, so... I've asked someone who's had more success to try KapanLagi.com; the editor succeeded in getting two pictures of Agnes Monica.

Dabsolver check: ok
Checklinks check: ok
On hold Sorry, but the prose is not very engaging, and totally not ok for GA. Please request one on WP:GOCE/REQ. I will put this on hold. Let me know if the article is copyedited.

I'm doing the copyedit on my own for now. If it's still not up to par later, I'll contact the guild. As a side note, it seems that The Jakarta Post and other sources always use Gita to refer to her. Should we do the same? Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:25, 5 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Did my copyedit. Hope it's enough. If not, let me know. Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:34, 5 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

" This led to Gutawa's mother stepping in and serving as her manager, in which role she continued until she became pregnant with Gutawa's sister" - A woman can be pregnant from a woman?
" This was followed by a third album, the Islamic religious album Balada Shalawat, in August 2010" - in August released, recorded? Not clear.