Talk:Coulommiers cheese

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File:Coulommiers lait cru.jpg to appear as POTD soon

Hello! This is a note to let the editors of this article know that File:Coulommiers lait cru.jpg will be appearing as picture of the day on September 13, 2013. You can view and edit the POTD blurb at Template:POTD/2013-09-13. If this article needs any attention or maintenance, it would be preferable if that could be done before its appearance on the Main Page. Thanks! — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:26, 29 August 2013 (UTC)

Picture of the day

Coulommiers cheese is a cheese from Coulommiers in the Seine-et-Marne department of France. A cousin of Brie, it is made from cow's milk and is usually in the shape of a disc, with white, bloomy, edible Penicillium candidum rind.Photo: Myrabella

Clumsy sentence

When you produce a sentence that is really badly strung together, then the well-meaning editor who tries to fix it may make it worse.

• "This cheese can be either farmer-made or industrially produced, though the industrial version lacks the depth of an unpasteurized cheese; the artisanal or "farmhouse" unpasteurised Coulommiers has some reddish blush in parts of the rind."
• The sentence was editted to: It is farmer-made or industrially produced. The industrial version lacks the depth of an unpasteurized cheese; artisanal or "farmhouse" unpasteurised Coulommiers has some reddish blush in parts of the rind. The period of ripening when made of pasteurised whole milk is about four to six weeks.
• It is now: The cheese may be either farmer-made or industrially produced, however the industrial version lacks the depth of an unpasteurized cheese.

The other part of the sentence hasn't been deleted. It has been put in the description rather than in the production.

What was wrong with the sentence in the first place, that caused a well-meaning unidentified editor to stuff it up, by splitting two related ideas?

The problem was caused by by joining two not closely related ideas with a semi-colon. '"'the industrial version lacks the depth of an unpasteurized cheese; the artisanal or "farmhouse" unpasteurised Coulommiers has some reddish blush..."" do not relate closely. The semi-colon needed removing.

Using semi-colons

• Use them in long lists, only in places where a comma is not enough: "Joe Rudd, the butcher; John White, the baker; Jack Tallow, the candlestick-maker"
• Use them is balanced sentences: "He likes coffee; she likes tea"
• Use them for contradictions: "He said he would do it; he didn't." Note: if you include a word link, such as "He said he would do it, but he didn't." then no semi-colon. Conjunctions are almost always the better way to go.
• What semi-colons are not good for is stringing together ideas that ought to be in different sentences.
• Basically, think before using.

Amandajm (talk) 04:06, 13 September 2013 (UTC)