Talk:Blind Man's Zoo
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Each song is a reference to a hot-topic political issue
[edit]Please elaborate. A hot political topic in 1989 is not readily discernable from a title like "Headstrong." --Fantailfan 23:07, 29 April 2006 (UTC)
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'On the week ending' / chart performance section
[edit]just a suggestion- wording in the chart performance section with the phrase 'on the week ending' is awkward- it would make more sense as a group of charts, similar to this one. alex! (talk) 19:04, 21 February 2020 (UTC)
my bad- i meant that having both the chart performance section and the charts section is kind of redundant, i think it might be easier to read if the information from the chart performance section was added to the charts section, maybe as a separate week-based chart? alex! (talk) 19:07, 21 February 2020 (UTC)
GA Review
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- This review is transcluded from Talk:Blind Man's Zoo/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 05:40, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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On first glance, this article looks alright and does have a number of unsourced claims but they are not sentences plus they are not any citation failed tags, so this does not get quick failed for sure! --K. Peake 05:40, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
[edit]- Recording date is unsourced
- Tagged with "citation needed". --George Ho (talk) 19:43, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- George Ho You should 100% not be doing this anywhere in the article since that could lead to a failure under the criteria; either remove the info, add citation(s) or change it by using other citations. --K. Peake 20:20, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- Eliminated recording dates and replaced unsourced genre with one from Allmusic. --George Ho (talk) 21:42, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- George Ho No, you do not use the AllMusic sidebar as a source; also, the release date is in prose so does not need a ref in the infobox. --K. Peake 10:56, 3 August 2020 (UTC)
- Eliminated "genre" parameter if AllMusic sidebar from the webpage can't be used. --George Ho (talk) 00:53, 4 August 2020 (UTC)
- Studio should use the separate parameter in the infobox
- Tagged with "citation needed". --George Ho (talk) 19:43, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- Remove the venue parameter as that is for live recordings
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:43, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- Separate the genres by using bullet points, plus they are unsourced
- Used "hlist" template. George Ho (talk) 19:43, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- George Ho That is not correct, per Template:Infobox song. --K. Peake 20:20, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- Changed to simple bullet format. --George Ho (talk) 21:42, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- See one of my above comments made at the same time as this. George Ho (talk) 00:53, 4 August 2020 (UTC)
- Are you sure the release months of the second two singles are unknown?
- Will find reliable sources verifying the months of the release dates soon. George Ho (talk) 19:43, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "Blind Man's Zoo, which was released in 1989, is the fourth studio album to be recorded by the American pop group 10,000 Maniacs." → "Blind Man's Zoo is the fourth studio album by American alternative rock band 10,000 Maniacs. It was released on May 16, 1989, through Elektra Records." with the appropriate wikilinks
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:43, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "current events that occurred during and before the production of the album." → "current events, which occurred during and before the production."
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:43, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- ""Trouble Me", the first track from the album to be released as a single, was" → "The track "Trouble Me" was"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:43, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "as dedication to the lead singer Natalie Merchant's father;" → "as a dedication to the father of the band's lead singer Natalie Merchant."
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:43, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- Start new para after this with ""Trouble Me" was released as the lead single from Blind Man's Zoo in May 1989, charting in..." then adding the two countries mentioned
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:43, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- Remove "and became a minor hit" since the description given with the two countries is enough
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:43, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- ""Eat for Two", a song about teenage pregnancy, also" → ""Eat for Two" and "You Happy Puppet" were released as the second and third singles, respectively..." with mention of the release dates if you can find them and chart performance of the songs; maybe name countries?
- I don't think "You Happy Puppet" charted, even when released, unless I overlooked. I wrote another sentence about "Trouble Me" after the suggested sentence.
- "The album had a mixed reception," → "The album received mixed to positive reviews from music critics," with the appropriate target since this is more accurate and add what was praised/criticized in this sentence
- I made some brief highlights about the album, but I've not yet inserted such words as "issues" or "current events of that time". --George Ho (talk) 19:43, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "and reached No. 13 in the Billboard Top 200 chart and No. 18 in the UK Albums Chart. → "It reached number 13 on the US Billboard 200 and number 18 on the UK Albums Chart." with the target
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:43, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
Production and songs
[edit]- Retitle to Themes and lyrics
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- The first two paragraphs of this should be in a different section titled Background and development, which will come before the retitled one in this order
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "Members of the band 10,000 Maniacs were, at the time of the album's release, singer-songwriter" → "At the time of Blind Man's Zoo being released, the members of 10,000 Maniacs were; American singer-songwriter"
Done without the proposed semicolon, which to me would break up clauses. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- [1] should only be invoked at the end of the paragraph since it backs up every single sentence of this one
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "Its first few releases were less than commercially successful: the Human Conflict Number Five EP (1982) and Secrets of the I Ching LP (1983) under its own" → "The band's first few releases lacked commercial success, which were the EP Human Conflict Number Five (1982) and the album Secrets of the I Ching (1983) under their own"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "Christian Burial Music; followed by an LP titled The Wishing Chair after signing contract" → "Christian Burial Music. The releases were followed by 10,000 Maniac's second studio album The Wishing Chair, after they signed a contract"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "In My Tribe, released in July 1987, became modestly successful," → "In My Tribe was released in July 1987 and became modestly successful,"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- Target single to Single (music)
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "was recorded in" → "was recorded at"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "The ballad "Trouble Me" (track four), the album's first track to be released as a single, was co-written" → "The ballad "Trouble Me", which is the fourth track, was written" with the target since the single info is irrelevant for this area; I will tell you where to place it instead though
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- George Ho Even though you have since changed part of this sentence, some of the prose I requested for it like not putting (track four) are yet to be fixed; I have noticed at other points in the article, so please make sure you are looking at everything properly. --K. Peake 20:27, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
- "Dennis Drew and Natalie Merchant for Merchant's father," → "Drew and Merchant for the latter's father,"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- Target gospel to Gospel music
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "provided the background vocals" → "provides background vocals"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "Other songs on the album" → "Numerous songs on Blind Man's Zoo
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- Target politics to Music and politics
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "who is five-months pregnant." → "that is five-months pregnant."
- I think "who" is more suitable to a person (who is referred using one of pronouns) than "that". George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "did not intend the song" → "did not intend for the song"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- Target anti-abortion to Anti-abortion movement
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "Rob Buck played the guitar" → "Buck played the guitar"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "the song; Jerome Augustyniak, percussion." → "the song, while percussion was performed by Augustyniak."
- I used a few of the same words that you proposed but used active tone rather than passive as suggested. George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- Remove the singles sentence from here
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "The second track, "Please Forgive Us"," → "The album's second track, "Please Forgive Us"," and this belongs in the above para instead
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- Target U.S. interventions in Central America to Foreign interventions by the United States
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- [4] should solely be at the end of the sentence before [7]
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "the Iran-Contra affair." → "the Iran–Contra affair."
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "concerns a Vietnam War veteran" → "references a Vietnam veteran"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- [1] should solely be at the end of the sentence before [2]
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- Wikilink Washington, D.C.
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "The seventh track "Poison in the Well" concerns" → "The seventh track, "Poison in the Well", concerns"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- [1] should solely be at the end of the sentence before [4]
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "is about the working class." → "is about the working class, centering around the plight of them."
Done. BTW, I found sources (NYTimes, Stereogum, Christian Science Monitor) describing that the song is also about a mother struggling to raise her children. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "The tenth track "Hateful Hate" concerns" → ""Hateful Hate", the tenth track of Blind Man's Zoo, concerns"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "and racial tensions" → "as well as racial tensions"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "The final track "Jubilee" is" → "The final track, "Jubilee", is"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- [3] should solely be at the end of the sentence before [7]
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "and concerns a racist" → "and is about a racist"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "a dance hall in which he had" → "a dance hall, in which he had"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- The music videos para should not be in this section
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "Music videos of "Eat for Two," "Trouble Me," "You Happy Puppet," "Dust Bowl,"" → "Music videos for "Eat for Two", "Trouble Me", "You Happy Puppet", "Dust Bowl"," with the wikilink
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "were released in a" → "were included on the"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- Target VHS album to video album per MOS:LINK2SECT
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- [8] should solely be at the end of the sentence
- The ref doesn't mention the re-release. I'll find secondary sources to back up the re-release. George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- Add ref(s) to back up the re-release info
- If the primary source isn't sufficient enough, I'll try to find other sources then. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "bonus music videos from the band's" → "bonus videos from the band's 1993"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- "in which the band" → "during which they"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
Release and promotion
[edit]- Create this section directly after Themes and lyrics, starting a sentence stating the release date of the album
- Added release date, which is not exact. Using AllMusic's early 2000s book. --George Ho (talk) 00:51, 4 August 2020 (UTC)
- The RIAA suggests May 4, 1989. I take it that's acceptable? dannymusiceditor oops 16:37, 4 August 2020 (UTC)
- DannyMusicEditor No it is fine, AllMusic is considered a reliable source for release dates. --K. Peake 20:24, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
- The singles info from the previous sections belongs here, as does the music videos info and add more if you can like the proper release dates
- Moved singles info into that section. --George Ho (talk) 00:51, 4 August 2020 (UTC)
- Still make the prose changes I suggested for the content proposed to be moved, though I may suggest further changes after you have created this section
- After checking the DVD re-release's tracklist (via Amazon), I eliminated one unverifiable clause and rewrote the other clause as independent sentence. I can't be too sure whether an inline citation or a secondary source is needed when the live album MTV Unplugged is already used as a source. --George Ho (talk) 00:51, 4 August 2020 (UTC)
- George Ho No, you need to cite a source that states the track list of the live album. --K. Peake 20:24, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
Reception
[edit]- Retitle to Critical reception
Done. --George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
- Refs in the ratings template should be invoked after the scores instead of the sources
Done. --George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
Done. --George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
- Add "Blind Man's Zoo was met with mixed to positive reviews from music critics" as the opening sentence with the target
Done. --George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
- "said the track "Trouble Me" is "the most uplifting"" → "said "Trouble Me" is "the most uplifting track"" if that is what the source directly says; elsewise, put [track]
- Turns out that Natalie Merchant called "Trouble Me" 'uplifting', so I moved her quote to "Themes and lyrics" section, splitting off from DeCurtis. --George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
- Target Timothy White to Timothy White (writer)
Done. --George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
- "called the album the band's" → "called the album 10,000 Maniac's"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
- "Spin journalist Jonathan Van Meter considered" → "Spin journalist, Jonathan Van Meter considered"
- Added comma after "journalist" and "Meter". --George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
- "People magazine praised the music," → "The staff of People praised the music of the album,"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
- "Rob Buck's guitar performance" → "Buck's guitar performance"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
- "also called the "Jubilee"" → "further called "Jubilee""
Done. --George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
- "Allmusic reviewer Chris Woodstra rated the album three-and-a-half stars out of five, considering it" → "AllMusic reviewer Chris Woodstra considered the album"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
- Remove wikilink on In My Tribe
Done. --George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
- "[the album] ultimately" → "[Blind Man's Zoo] ultimately"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
- Chicago Tribune → The staff of the Chicago Tribune
- Found the author's name. --George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
- For this review, don't have the star rating written out in prose and instead quote the review here
- Found one or two quotes from the review. --George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
- Do the same for the following Rolling Stone review and the only Robert Christgau in this article
- Found one quote from the RS review. The same couldn't be said for the latter, so removed it from prose. George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
- "Another Rolling Stone reviewer J.D. Considine rated it three out of five and wrote that" → "J.D. Considine, reviewing for the same publication, wrote that"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
- The certifications info belongs in Commercial performance instead
Done. --George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
- "was certified Gold (500,000 units) on July 11, 1989 and then Platinum (1,000,000 units)" → "was certified gold for selling 500,000 units in the US on July 11, 1989 and then platinum for sales of 1,000,000 units in the country"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
- [14] should solely be at the end of the sentence before [15] and should use a refname from the cert table
Done. --George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
- "it the band's fourth album to be certified Platinum." → "it 10,000 Maniac's fourth album to achieve the certification."
Done. --George Ho (talk) 01:50, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
Chart performance
[edit]- Retitle to Commercial performance
Done. --George Ho (talk) 05:04, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
- "In the United States, Blind Man's Zoo reached number 13 in the Billboard Top 200 chart" → "In the US, Blind Man's Zoo reached number 13 on the Billboard 200"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 05:04, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
- [16] is the correct ref but this should be using a refname from the chart table and place solely at the end of the sentence before [17]
Done. --George Ho (talk) 05:04, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
- Add the RIAA certification directly after this
Done. --George Ho (talk) 05:04, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
- "at number 18 in" → "at number 18 on"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 05:04, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
- [18] should solely be at the end of the sentence before [19]
Done. --George Ho (talk) 05:04, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
- Write about the BPI certification for the following sentence
- Found the BPI website and the page verifying the certification. --George Ho (talk) 05:04, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
- "In the Billboard charts," → "On the US charts,"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 05:04, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
- "number 20 in the" → "number 20 at the"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 05:04, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
- Target should be solely on Mainstream Rock
Done. --George Ho (talk) 05:04, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
- "number three in the" → "number 3 on the" per MOS:NUM
Done. --George Ho (talk) 05:04, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
- Target should be solely on Modern Rock Tracks
Done. --George Ho (talk) 05:04, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
Done. --George Ho (talk) 05:04, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
- "and number seven in the" → "and number 7 on the"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 05:04, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
- Target should be solely on Adult Contemporary
Done. --George Ho (talk) 05:04, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
- "reached number 77 in the" → "reached number 77 on the"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 05:04, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
- [18] should solely be at the end of the sentence before [24]
Done. --George Ho (talk) 05:04, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
- The last para should be part of the second instead
Done. --George Ho (talk) 05:04, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
- "reached number 12 in" → "reached number 12 on"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 05:04, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
- Target Billboard to Billboard (magazine)
Done. --George Ho (talk) 05:04, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
- [18][21] should solely be at the end of the sentence before [25]
Done. --George Ho (talk) 05:04, 8 August 2020 (UTC)
Track listing
[edit]- This should be laid out with the template that is usually used for track listings, though still keep the sides separated
- The writers note is pointless since more than five had multiple writers and when this is in the template, list the writer(s) for every song
- A source is required for the credits
Personnel
[edit]- A source is required here
- Use the div col template for separation
- Any specific order here?
Charts
[edit]- Remove album header
- See MOS:TABLECAPTION
- This should be cited as a normal chart table with the chart history templates; this can be used for citing the US refname I referenced in this review
- Remove the singles charts
Certifications
[edit]- Cite as a normal certifications table; see Template:Certification Table Entry if you are unsure how to
- See MOS:TABLECAPTION
- Add the UK certification by BPI
- The gold and platinum certifications are not both needed, only cite the platinum one here
- The platinum certification here can be used for the refname I referenced earlier in the review
References
[edit]- Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool
- Copyvio score looks slick at 9.1%!
- Some of these are missing publisher/website and accessdates; give these to any sources that can have them added, i.e not the likes of the cassette and CD ones
- Target Timothy White to Timothy White (writer) on ref 2 and target Spin to Spin (magazine)
- Target Elektra to Elektra Records on ref 5
- Target People to People (magazine) on ref 7
- Cite Thomas Gale as the author for ref 8 and remove him from publisher, placing his surname before forename for consistency
- Allmusic → AllMusic on ref 9 with the wikilink
- Wikilink Chicago Tribune on ref 10
- Wikilink The New Rolling Stone Album Guide on ref 13
- Target Billboard to Billboard (magazine) on ref 15
- Solely cite Official Charts Company for ref 18 with the wikilink, as publisher
- Ditto for refs 19, 24 and 25 but with no wikilinking
- Ref 21's title appears to have not been filled in properly
- David Roberts' name is ordered incorrectly on ref 26 and target Guinness World Records Limited to Guinness World Records
Final comments and verdict
[edit]On hold even though the article is not too well crafted currently, I have confidence that you can fix these issues in a week and if I have not estimated properly then this may end up being failed. --K. Peake 13:00, 2 August 2020 (UTC)
- ✗ Fail for this article now since not only has it been over a week and you have not fixed the large amount of issues in time, but I have made comments to you directly days ago that you have not responded to at all. --K. Peake 05:39, 13 August 2020 (UTC)
GA Review
[edit]GA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Blind Man's Zoo/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 06:40, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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I will take this on for review, as it would be appropriate for me to get the article into GA status potentially because I conducted the first review; I will use that one here to help me somewhat! --K. Peake 06:40, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
[edit]- Infobox looks good!
- "of the lead singer" → "of the band's lead singer" and this is a change you did not fully implement from the previous review
- Oh, I guess I did.
Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:21, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Oh, I guess I did.
- ""Eat for Two" charted" → "The former of the two charted" to avoid starting two sentences in a row with the song's title
Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:21, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Another update: I made changes to the singles info to reflect the changes in the body. --George Ho (talk) 20:25, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Update the overview of the album's reviews to mixed like it is in the body; this is one of the parts of the lead that has changed since the previous review
- I changed "mixed to positive" → "mixed". I don't know whether that would suffice. George Ho (talk) 09:21, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- "number 13 in the" → "number 13 on the"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:21, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- "in the UK Albums Chart. It also was certified platinum in December 1997" → "on the UK Albums Chart, and was certified platinum in the US by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA)." and this should be the end of the sentence because otherwise it will be too long, plus you can't start two consecutive sentences with "it".
- I rearranged the sentences especially by separating the US and the UK into their respective sentences. George Ho (talk) 09:21, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- George Ho Nice start, but I did some moderate copyediting to completely fix this part. --K. Peake 11:39, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- I rearranged the sentences especially by separating the US and the UK into their respective sentences. George Ho (talk) 09:21, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
Background and development
[edit]- "lacked commercial success," → "had lacked commercial success," because this info is directly following info about the band at the time of the album's release
Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- "under the band's own record label" → "under their own record label" with the wikilink; another change I requested that was not done, it was suggested to avoid stating "the band" twice in the same sentence
Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- "second studio album," → "second studio album"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- "after they signed contract" → "after they signed a contract" you forgot to add the word "a", which is required for correct grammar
- I guess I did, eh?
Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- I guess I did, eh?
- "The album production occurred" → "The album's production occurred"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Target mixing to Audio mixing (recorded music)
Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Target Right Track Studios to MSR Studios
Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
Themes and lyrics
[edit]- "Numerous songs on the album" → "Numerous songs on Blind Man's Zoo" and it looks like you forgot to add the title here from the previous review; that is needed because it's the start of a new section
Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- "The album's second track," → "Blind Man's Zoo's second track," even though the current wording was a change implemented, "the album" has since been added to prose more recently than its title hence this suggestion
Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- "concerns the US interventions in Central America," → "concerns the United States interventions in Central America," since that is the first time in the body that the country is mentioned
Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- "The third track "The Big Parade" references" → "The third track, "The Big Parade", references"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- "in Washington, D.C. and" → "in Washington, D.C., and"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- "was a ballad" → "is a ballad" with the target
Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- [5][8][1] should be put in numerical order
Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Target music critic to Music journalism
Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Target colonization of Africa to Colonisation of Africa
Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- "and about a racist who" → "and a racist who"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- "boy kissing shamelessly."" → "boy kissing shamelessly"."
Done. --George Ho (talk) 09:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- George Ho Very good to see you have responded up to here in a short amount of time; do you think all the issues will be fixed today? --K. Peake 10:00, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
Release and promotion
[edit]- "and May 15, 1989 in the UK." → "and May 15 in the United Kingdom."
Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:01, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Remove wikilink on "Trouble Me"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:01, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- You have not sourced the release dates of the track and the other two singles; add that here
- I couldn't find a reliable source verifying release dates of the singles, so I rewrote the sentence instead. --George Ho (talk) 10:01, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- You need to remove the commas from inside the speech marks of the song titles like I suggested
Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:01, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- "were released in a" → "were included on the" and this is another suggestion from the previous review you missed
Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:01, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Target VHS album to video album per MOS:LINK2SECT, not the article and the section's hashtag
Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:01, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- "are included in its" → "were released on its"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:01, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
Critical reception
[edit]- "was met with mixed reviews." → "was met with mixed reviews from music critics."
Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:31, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Shouldn't the section be ordered in terms of going from most positive to most negative reviews since the reception is classified as mixed?
- I moved Anthony DeCurtis's review/statement into "Themes and lyrics" section; I haven't seen it as either positive, mixed, or negative. Nonetheless, I was able to restructure the sentences and to split paragraphs into one positive, one mixed possibly, and one negative. --George Ho (talk) 10:31, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- George Ho This is a better placement for sure, but I changed "the album" to "it" for avoiding writing the former too much. --K. Peake 11:39, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- I moved Anthony DeCurtis's review/statement into "Themes and lyrics" section; I haven't seen it as either positive, mixed, or negative. Nonetheless, I was able to restructure the sentences and to split paragraphs into one positive, one mixed possibly, and one negative. --George Ho (talk) 10:31, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- AllMusic should not be italicised, but at least you edited the prose for this part per my suggestion
Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:31, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- "Chicago Tribune reviewer Greg Kot" → "The Chicago Tribune reviewer Greg Kot" with the wikilink, props for finding the author by now however!
Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:31, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- "powerful lyricism [on] the" → "powerful lyricism" on "the" since there is a gap inbetween the parts before and after [on] that is not represented
Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:31, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- "theme of betrayal."" → "theme of betrayal"."
Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:31, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
Commercial performance
[edit]- "on July 11, 1989 and then platinum for shipment of" → "on July 11, 1989, and later received a platinum certification for shipments of"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- "on December 12, 1997 by the Recording Industry Association of America," → "on December 12, 1997, both of which were awarded by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA)," since otherwise it does not sound clear that RIAA awarded the gold certification
Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- "achieve the certification." → "achieve the latter certification."
Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- "The album was certified" → "Blind Man's Zoo was certified"
Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Add BPI in brackets for British Phonographic Industry
- I used parentheses instead. --George Ho (talk) 10:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- George Ho I did mean to put (BPI) after the full name, so you are correct. --K. Peake 11:39, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- I used parentheses instead. --George Ho (talk) 10:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- "on the Hot 100" → "on the Billboard Hot 100" because that is the proper name of the chart
Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
Track listing
[edit]- Source: CD album booklet → Credits are adapted from the album's booklet.
Done. --George Ho (talk) 10:53, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- The sentence on the line below this one should be a different sentence on the same line, with the ref coming after both of them
- I converted the
all_lyrics
parameter into manually written sentence. Please let me know if you want further changes. --George Ho (talk) 10:53, 12 January 2021 (UTC)- George Ho The sentence is fine, but shouldn't the ref solely be at the end of the line since it is the only one? --K. Peake 11:39, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- I converted the
Personnel
[edit]- Add "Credits are adapted from the album's booklet." at the top of this section, making that the sole place where [2] is invoked
- ("Trouble Me") → (track 4)
Charts
[edit]- See MOS:TABLECAPTION
- Unsure which part is necessary. If captions, then I've added them. George Ho (talk) 11:19, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- George Ho You're off to a good start, though the caption should be something like "Weekly chart performance for Blind Man's Zoo". --K. Peake 11:39, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
Done per above suggestion. --George Ho (talk) 19:40, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- George Ho You're off to a good start, though the caption should be something like "Weekly chart performance for Blind Man's Zoo". --K. Peake 11:39, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Unsure which part is necessary. If captions, then I've added them. George Ho (talk) 11:19, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- The charts should be alphabetically ordered
Certifications
[edit]- See MOS:TABLECAPTION
- Unsure which part is necessary. If captions, then I've added them. George Ho (talk) 11:19, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
References
[edit]- I needn't check the copyvio score, as it was great for the previous review and you have not added more quotes since then!
- Make sure all of these that can be are archived by using the tool
Already done by Chompy Ace. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Even though I mentioned accessdates in the previous review, I have since learned that they are not a necessity so you needn't give all refs them
- Target Elektra to Elektra Records on ref 2 and wikilink Asylum Records
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Target Spin to Spin (magazine) on ref 3
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Ref 4 should cite the middle name in the first name parameter instead
- As I'm pretty sure, "Van Meter" is the surname. Well, it's not "van Meter", but... it is what it is. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Target People to People (magazine) on ref 5, as I pointed out in the previous review
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Target Daily Press to Daily Press (Virginia) on ref 8
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Wikilink The New York Times on ref 9
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Wikilink Stephen Thomas Erlewine on ref 11
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Cite RIAA as publisher instead for ref 12 and target to Recording Industry Association of America
- Added
publisher
parameter. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Added
- Cite British Phonographic Industry as publisher instead for refs 13 and 27, only wikilinking for the former
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Target Thomas Gale to Gale (publisher) on ref 15
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Wikilink MTV Unplugged on ref 16
- Linked to MTV Unplugged (10,000 Maniacs album) instead. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Wikilink AllMusic on ref 17
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Authorlink Greg Kot on ref 18 and wikilink Chicago Tribune
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Wikilink The New Rolling Stone Album Guide on ref 19
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Ref 20 is missing Rolling Stone from work/website parameter; I did mention this issue as being prevalent throughout previously
- Added
work
parameter (probably I did). George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Added
- Ref 22 is a duplicate of ref 37; use a refname from the chart table to fix this
- Used "ref 38" (prev. ref 37 before change) to replace ref 22. George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Target Billboard to Billboard (magazine) on ref 23
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Remove work/website from ref 25 and change the publisher to Official Charts Company with the wikilink
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Do the same for refs 26, 35 and 36, but with no wikilink
Done. --George Ho (talk) 19:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
External links
[edit]- Mention the website the lyrics are at
Done and reformatted. Also, I tagged the link as dead link; fortunately, the archive link has been already given. --George Ho (talk) 19:39, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
Final comments and verdict
[edit]On hold for a week until the issues are fixed, but the article is a lot better from when I reviewed it the first time; props for your progress, and hopefully you can get everything done in less than a week! --K. Peake 09:00, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- George Ho ✓ Pass for this article even though I did some brief copy editing where you missed only a few points, amazing improvement on the response from last time! --K. Peake 21:17, 12 January 2021 (UTC)