Talk:Bear Witness/GA1

GA Review

Passed. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 20:09, 11 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 05:50, 11 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
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A lot of comma and copy changes; one source I spotted that needs replacement. 7-day hold to the nominators, Shaidar cuebiyar and Dan arndt. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 06:36, 11 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Copy changes

Lead

It was released in August 1986 on Regular Records, which reached No. 14 on the Kent Music Report albums chart. I don't like the "which", because it makes it sound like Regular Records reached #14, not the album. Maybe just "...on Regular Records and reached..." Y
I'm Talking received international interest and as a result they To avoid awkward commas, change the end to "interest; as a result, they" Y
In October 2010, Bear Witness was listed in the book, 100 Best Australian Albums. Remove the second comma. The book title is not an appositive. An appositive should be removable without losing information. But to say simply "Bear Witness was listed in the book." would make me ask "what book?". Y
It included three non-album, singles, "Trust Me" (November 1984), "Lead the Way" (June 1985) and "Love Don't Live Here Anymore" (August), as well as B-sides and mix tracks. Remove the first comma and set off everything from "Trust" to "August" in —dashes—. So, It included three non-album singles—"Trust Me" (November 1984), "Lead the Way" (June 1985) and "Love Don't Live Here Anymore" (August)—as well as B-sides and mix tracks. Y

Background

I wonder if splitting into two subheadings might be useful here.

Bear Witness was the debut studio album issued by Australian pop rock band, I'm Talking on 4 August 1986. Remove the comma; not an appositive.Y
You're quoting a sentence fragment, so "no specific meaning". with period outside of quote (MOS:INOROUT). This happens a few other places as well.
Their first release was a six-track extended play, Someday (May 1984), on independent label, Randelli. Remove the last comma; Randelli is not an appositive because I'm left asking "what independent label?"Y
The EP was recorded before Abeyratne joined, according to Newman, "[Abeyratne] was a friend of [Ceberano]'s. She joined after about three gigs. [Ceberano] suggested that she come along and do some backing vocals, because none of us could sing." Change the comma before the quotes to a colon. The period inside quotes here IS correct, because you are quoting a full sentence.Y
The band were managed by Ken West and Vivian Lees and, following the release of Someday, they were signed to Regular Records Add a comma after Lees: User:Sammi Brie/Commas in sentences (C in S)Y
Their first three non-album, singles remove this comma. The same advice from the lead applies here.Y
, in which "everything was shared – the philosophy, the credits, the money" however in reality add a semicolon after the quote and set off "in reality" in commas.Y
teen pop music TV programme, Countdown another one of those nasty not-appositive commas that must go.Y
Goodge explained that they would not use Cockle, "[he] Change this comma to a colon.Y
Maher of British group, Scritti Politti Again, this comma has to go.Y
regular drummer, Newman Same. Y
Ceberano in her autobiography, I'm Talking: My Life, My Words, My Music (2014), recalls For contrast — this is right! I can remove everything between the commas without issue.
But not here: Abeyratne also sang lead vocals for the track, "It's Over".. If I say, "Abeyratne also sang lead vocals for the track", I'm left wondering which one. Ditch that comma.Y
The band received considerable international interest and as a result Add commas after "interest" and "and" and "result".Y
In March Abeyratne, Charlesworth and McLean left I'm Talking and the remaining four-piece disbanded in July. This sentence really could use commas after March (for clarity) and Talking (C in S) Y

Reissues

two dance mixes of the album's first two singles "Do You Wanna Be?" and "Holy Word", three A-sides of earlier singles, "Trust Me", "Lead the Way" and "Love Don't Live Here Anymore" I've changed this for commas: two dance mixes of the album's first two singles, "Do You Wanna Be?" and "Holy Word", as well as three A-sides of earlier singles: "Trust Me", "Lead the Way" and "Love Don't Live Here Anymore" Y
Regular Records' former owner, Martin Fabinyi provided Two things: "Records's" per MOS:'S and complete the appositive by adding a comma after Fabinyi. Y
Goodge worked on analogue tapes, some had to be baked to avoid their disintegration during remixing and he was able to source a machine to play the tapes. Change the existing comma to a colon and add a comma after "remixing". Y
all of Someday EP, and "rarities inspired by their New York experiences with hip hop culture and 12" mixes." Remove this comma here. (Also another INOROUT change needed) Y

Critical reception

In October 2010 the CD reissue version of 1996 was listed at number 93 in the book, 100 Best Australian Albums. Remove the comma. Y
Its legacy, "inspired Ditch this comma. Y
They observe, "the necessity of playing live grounded the compositions I think capitalizing the ("The necessity...") looks better here and in other sentences in this paragraph. Y
as, "flawless vocal on [a] sax-tastic" song Another comma to go. Y

I'm a bit confused. Why is the "channelled" quote citing the Rolling Stone source, which contains it, but also mentioning the Herald Sun one? Y

You're right. We've muddled the quotes by Adams for the two different sources. I hope I've straightened this out now.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 09:29, 11 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Commercial reception

Kent Music Report Albums Chart, Change this comma to a colon. Y

Charts

The tables should have captions (MOS:DTAB), even if they are hidden by using {{sronly}}. This is an accessibility requirement (not strictly GA but I do check for this). Y

Sourcing

Earwig shows no real issues—mostly quoted reviews and interview elements.

Spot checks

2 (Kent Music Report): This checks out, but I'm not quite sure about it being hosted on an imgur mirror. This seems to be an accepted RS that isn't officially available.
4 (2SER interview): Checks out for all uses.
11 (Goodge's track-by-track analysis): Used amply and checks out.
15: Must AGF the citations to Ceberano 2014 (book).
17: Archives of Countdown list Lead the Way as having been played on 4 August 1985.
19: The Victor Harbour Times article checks out, BUT "some of songs" should be "some of the songs". Y
34: The linked website DOES NOT contain any information on 1986. It looks to be missing some years in the 80s. Another source must be found.

Good spotting. This ref has been deleted. Some content is verified at the remaining source.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 09:33, 11 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

37: 1987 ARIA Awards video. Not sure where to look. It is the official upload, though. Y
40: APRA AMCOS catalogue checks out.

Other items

References are archived.
Images are appropriately licensed (in one case) or have appropriate NFUR (the other). The alt text is great.

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.