Wikipedia:WikiProject Video games/Peer review/Star Wars Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast
Since I started work on it the article's gone from Start-class to GA-class. I'm looking to get it up to FA-class and am willing to do whatever it takes to get it there, but I can't find any flaws with the article or anything to work on. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. UnaLaguna 20:57, 12 July 2007 (UTC)
- Don't use on November 22 of the same year. Just type out the full release date, it's shorter and easier to understand.
- Write mêlée as melee. Even though the former is technically correct, the latter is the most commonly used and doesn't look so alien upon first glance.
- Single player is typically spelled out as two words, while multiplayer is usually one word.
- Expand the lead a bit - perhaps briefly mention the game's most characterizing features, such that the game allows you to wield a lightsaber and use force powers as those are the two primary things I associate with this game.
- In the infobox, separate the releases by country using , look at The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion for an example. Looks much cleaner.
- There's no need to put a reference to the guide for every single sentence, it makes it hard to read. Some of the things referenced are obvious and don't really need to be referenced. (No one is going to wonder where your reference is when you say that Billy Dee Williams plays Lando in the Star Wars movies. Obviously Luke Skywalker is the protagonist of the movies.)
- Also, single sentences are referenced multiple times when they only need one, such as In exchange for her life,[33] Tavion allows Kyle to use her ship to travel there.[32] That's one fact, not two. It also makes the reference list needlessly long.
- Put the year after dates to make it more obvious, and write all dates as May 17, 2001 instead of May 17th, 2001, per WP:Date#Dates containing a month and a day.
-- Sdornan 22:07, 16 July 2007 (UTC)
- Thank you! I've been on holiday for a couple of weeks, and I was pleased to see you went to the trouble of fixing some of those issues yourself. I (hopefully) addressed all the issues which you hadn't already taken care of. I now intend to take this article to WP:FAC: fingers crossed, it should make it. UnaLaguna 12:00, 4 August 2007 (UTC)
kschang77's comments
[edit]- IMHO, there's no need to recite each and every release date when it's in the Infobox to the right. A sentence like "it was released for PC in early 2002 and for consoles in late 2002" is sufficient. This is a stylistic difference, so it's your choice.
Done - "Powered by id Tech 3" should be "Powered by id Tech 3 game engine" with game engine pointing to the respective page. Done
- "The game was critically well-received on all platforms.[7][8][9] In 2003 a sequel titled Star Wars Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy was released.[10] In 2006 the PC version was re-released with four other Star Wars games in a pack entitled Star Wars: The Best of PC.[11]" should be two separate paragraphs, separated at "In 2003". The first paragraph should mention some ratings, maybe a Metacritic average score, like "the game was well received, scoring _____ on Metacritic composite average..." While the 2nd paragraph will explain the re-releases and sequels. Done
--Kschang77 05:56, 20 August 2007 (UTC)
- One month on I finally implicate these suggestions. The lead section of an article is always the area I struggle with the most. Thanks for your input, Una LagunaTalk 06:11, 17 September 2007 (UTC)