Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/Harry Murray

Harry Murray

I have recently re-built this article and was wondering if it was good enough for me to nominate it for GA. Abraham, B.S. (talk) 11:51, 7 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Borg Sphere

Overall I think it looks good and probably could pass GAN. Just a few comments:

The lead could use some more citations.

Fixed

The section on the Gallipoli Campaign might be better to have at the start See also: Gallipoli Campaign.

I'm not sure I understand what you mean on this one. Abraham, B.S. (talk) 23:21, 7 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Later in the same section, this sentence has some big grammatical error. "He was wounded again on 8 August when the machine-gun section of the 4th Brigade the withdrawal after the attack on Hill 971."

Fixed

In the Western Front section, you misspelled seized.

Fixed

"Despite rarely attending Anzac Day services of functions for Victoria Cross recipients, he and his wife travelled to London in 1956 to commemorate the centenary of the Victoria Cross" I think you mean or there, instead of of?

Fixed

Other than those, it looks good, and I wish you luck with GAN. Borg Sphere (talk) 17:24, 7 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for having a look mate, I appreciate it. Abraham, B.S. (talk) 07:07, 11 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Woody

Looking good, I have a particular interest in VC related articles. A few comments:

MOS stuff

Check for WP:DASH, I note you need an endash in the first sentence.

I'm not sure where you are indictaing it should be placed, but I am guessing you mean the part about the VC?

You need ndashes everywhere: inbetween dates especially so [[1 December]] [[1880]]–[[7 January]] [[1966]]) You need those in the infobox as well... See WP:DASH for more information. Woody (talk) 09:35, 11 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed

Check for dates, some dates aren't linked, particularly in the Gallipolli section. By the way, it is no longer a requirement to have dates linked: either have them all linked or not at all. Oh, and it shouldn't be 4th July, simply 4 July

Fixed

Times should be in 24 hour clock to remove any confusion.

Fixed

You need publishers on the web references. Given that you use the cite-web template, move them from the title of the ref into the publisher parameter.

Fixed

Prose stuff

"...returned to Australian" He changed nationality? ;)

Fixed

"...who had elected, under the education schemes, to study agricultural methods through a tour of the farming districts of Britain and Denmark.

Fixed

I would try an split up the Western Front section as it is very long. Perhaps a separate one for the VC, or split it into dates (Western Front April to June, Western Front June to September) etc.

Fixed Split into Western Front June 1916 to April 1917 and Western Front April 1917 to Reparation March 1920

So, it is looking good. I would suggest going for ACR/FAC once you get a good copyeditor to give it the once over. Regards. Woody (talk) 14:48, 10 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for having a look mate, I appreciate it. Could you suggest a good copyeditor? Thanks, Abraham, B.S. (talk) 07:07, 11 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Take a look at WP:MHL#COPYEDIT. Woody (talk) 09:35, 11 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. Abraham, B.S. (talk) 10:50, 11 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Blnguyen has now completed a copyedit of the article. Abraham, B.S. (talk) 08:54, 25 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]