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Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/Benjamin Brice

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I'd like to start transposing some of Eicher & Eicher and flesh out the info on staff officers, departments, etc., that is currently MIA from the ACW TF. I'd count this as a template article, there is innumerable detail on the staff officers in the OR, it could take an entire year just to write one really good FA on each, however in the mean time I would at least like to get a reasonably sized bio up there. I'm interested in hearing what you think of what's already there, and what you think needs to be added, removed, etc. MrPrada (talk) 07:28, 6 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Also, this brings to mind a related MILHIST thought. The finance corps is missing from Category:Branches of the United States Army. MrPrada (talk) 07:32, 6 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Rockfall

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Nicely done, though I have a few points on reading the article:
  • The first section is called Early Life and Background and yet has a paragraph of his life 'after' the war, which is covered in the final section.
  • Main section is referenced (but seemingly from only one or two sources), though could do with some more wikilinks on some of the locations and names, for example Kansas and Paymaster.
    • The writing style of this section is very percussive - all short sentences will one piece of information in each. I feel this slows down the flow of the article.
  • Final section is good, though I am curious what Brice's role was, if any, in Reconstruction, which obviously was very important historically.
Overall I think the article is a good start which could perhaps do with a little more detail - it is hard to write that they have been unfairly neglected by historians and then not detail some specific examples of his actions in the war, or even personal details like family etc. Rockfall (talk) 14:57, 6 March 2008 (UTC)\[reply]

Carom

[edit]

Well done so far, although a few comments:

  • The lead probably warrants a brief expansion. Although the article is short, the lead should always give the reader a fairly complete overview of the topic.
  • There's some oddly placed information - for example, the last sentence regarding his brother-in-law. A slight reorganization of some information would, I think, be beneficial.
  • I would change the organization to Notes-References-External links (I believe this is slightly more conventional).

With regards to the missing category you mentioned, it's no problem to create one - I'm guessing it should be Category:United States Army Finance Corps? Carom (talk) 00:47, 9 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]