Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/SMS Ostfriesland
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- The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Promoted EyeSerenetalk 19:09, 3 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Another WWI German battleship, Ostfriesland served throughout the war and ended up the largest warship awarded to the United States; she is most famous for serving as the grand finale to Billy Mitchell's airpower demonstration in 1921. I wrote this article back in January and it passed a GA review the following month. Thanks in advance to all those who review the article, I look forward to working with you to ensure that this article meets the project's A-class criteria. Parsecboy (talk) 03:49, 4 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
CommentsSupport by MisterBee1966 (talk) 07:07, 9 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]- I think a footnote explaining SMS would be beneficial
- Named after the German region Ostfriesland (East Frisia)
- Christioned by the Fürstin of Innhausen und Knyphausen as a representative of the oldest east Frisian nobility. Hildebrand, Röhr and Steinmetz, volume 6 page 200
- Ostfriesland won the 1912/13 Kaiserschießpreis (the Kaisers artillery firing price) of the I. Geschwader. Gunnery officer was Kapitänleutnant Friedrich Beesel. Hildebrand, Röhr and Steinmetz, volume 6 page 201
- Prize, I think. - Dank (push to talk) 16:19, 9 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Sorry, yes MisterBee1966 (talk) 20:16, 10 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Prize, I think. - Dank (push to talk) 16:19, 9 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Hildebrand, Röhr and Steinmetz, volume 6 pages 203-204 talk about an extremely short period of sea trials. Do you know what might have been so unusual?
- Hildebrand, Röhr and Steinmetz, volume 6 page 200: names all four commanding officers (Engelhardt, Natzmer, Herr and Windmüller)
- Do we know what type of aircraft were used during the bombing tests? The German Wiki states Handley Page H.P.16.
Well done again MisterBee1966 (talk) 07:07, 9 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks for checking H,R, and S again, I'll add these in probably on Monday. Does it give the first names and ranks of the commanding officers? I'd assume they were all KzS, but I want to make sure. Parsecboy (talk) 09:00, 9 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- The full info provided states:
- Thanks for checking H,R, and S again, I'll add these in probably on Monday. Does it give the first names and ranks of the commanding officers? I'd assume they were all KzS, but I want to make sure. Parsecboy (talk) 09:00, 9 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
KzS Walter Engelhardt, August 1911 – August 1915
KzS Ernst-Oldwig von Natzmer, August 1915 – March 1918
KzS Hans Herr, March 1918 – December 1918
KzS Karl Windmüller, December 1918
- Another data point that I find interesting (H,R, and S page 201). The 2 8.8cm anti aircraft guns were referred to as Ballonabwehrgeschütze (anti balloon guns) MisterBee1966 (talk) 09:32, 9 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks, I'll work those into the body as appropriate chronologically. The note about Ballonabehrgeschütze would be a good addition to the class article. Parsecboy (talk) 18:16, 9 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Alright, I think I have all of the information integrated. Thanks again, MisterBee. Parsecboy (talk) 14:42, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Oh, I just noticed something. All of the other times I've included information from Hildebrand, Röhr and Steinmetz, it's been from volume 7 (including ships chronologically before and after Ostfriesland) - is there a mistake somewhere or did they not order the ship classes chronologically? Parsecboy (talk) 14:48, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- The various ships in the ten volumes are all ordered alphabetically. MisterBee1966 (talk) 18:58, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Oh, that makes sense then. Thanks. Parsecboy (talk) 02:27, 13 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- The various ships in the ten volumes are all ordered alphabetically. MisterBee1966 (talk) 18:58, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Oh, I just noticed something. All of the other times I've included information from Hildebrand, Röhr and Steinmetz, it's been from volume 7 (including ships chronologically before and after Ostfriesland) - is there a mistake somewhere or did they not order the ship classes chronologically? Parsecboy (talk) 14:48, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Alright, I think I have all of the information integrated. Thanks again, MisterBee. Parsecboy (talk) 14:42, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks, I'll work those into the body as appropriate chronologically. The note about Ballonabehrgeschütze would be a good addition to the class article. Parsecboy (talk) 18:16, 9 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Comments. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. Please check the edit summaries. - Dank (push to talk) 00:19, 11 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- "an ammunition fire": Would "a fire in one of the ammunition magazines" be accurate?
- "The assault force, which included the eight I Squadron battleships, the battlecruisers Von der Tann, Moltke, and Seydlitz, several light cruisers, 32 destroyers and 13 minesweepers.": Needs a verb (and perhaps something else is missing, I don't know.)
Support on prose for half of it per standard disclaimer, down to where I stopped, SMS Ostfriesland#Battle of Jutland. - Dank (push to talk) 00:19, 11 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]- Both fixed. Parsecboy (talk) 19:31, 11 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Continuing. "4.75 degree list": Some will ask for a hyphen here.
- Support (the whole thing) on prose per standard disclaimer. These are my edits.- Dank (push to talk)
Support Comments
- Speed in lead differs from infobox and main body.
- Is there any real point in giving stats in lead when they're repeated in the main body?
- No cites for # of propeller shafts, cylinders, boilers, crew size or armor thickness. Prefer to see this covered in descriptive paragraph rather than cites, but your choice.
- Link Navy List.
- Annapolis or Annapolis, MD?--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:29, 11 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Should all be addressed, save the stats in the lead - I like to put at least the number and caliber of the guns and usually the speed of the ship in the lead to give the reader a basic idea of its capabilities. I think I've done this in just about all of my articles. Parsecboy (talk) 03:10, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Oh, I've noticed; it just seems a bit redundant, IMO. BTW you've got a problem with your cites.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 04:38, 13 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Should all be addressed, save the stats in the lead - I like to put at least the number and caliber of the guns and usually the speed of the ship in the lead to give the reader a basic idea of its capabilities. I think I've done this in just about all of my articles. Parsecboy (talk) 03:10, 12 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.