Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Calvin Coolidge
I've done a bit of work on this article, expanding it and citing sources. I'd like to get it to GA status (or even FA) if possible. Right now, I think it looks pretty good and I'd appreciate any advice on how to make it better. Coemgenus 15:21, 30 January 2007 (UTC)
It is clear that you have done a lot of work on this article. These are my suggestions (mostly minor and possibly personal preferences):
- In the lead why you have such a huuuge paragraph? You could divide it in two smaller ones; IMO this is better layout and in accord with WP:LEAD.
Good point, I'll break it up. Coemgenus 21:19, 4 February 2007 (UTC)Done. Coemgenus 21:51, 4 February 2007 (UTC)
- "He restored public confidence in the White House after the scandals of his predecessor's administration". Are these scandals genrally accepted as factss? Otherwise, this assertion could possibly attract POV criticisms.
- They are, as far as I know. Coemgenus 21:19, 4 February 2007 (UTC)
- "The Republican Party was dominant in New England in Coolidge's time, and he followed". IMO it is not nice to use "he" in the first sentence of a new section. I would thus recommend: "The Republican Party was dominant in New England in Coolidge's time, and Coolidge followed".
- In "City Offices" the prose looks to me a bit choppy, with many short sentences in a row.
- I'll have another go at it. Coemgenus 21:19, 4 February 2007 (UTC)
- I see these blue quote-boxes I also use have become a trend in Wikipedia! Happy for that!
- Glad you like it - I copied the idea from your Pericles article. I think it gives it a polished look. Coemgenus 21:19, 4 February 2007 (UTC)
- "To pay for these tax cuts, Coolidge proposed reciprocal reductions in federal expenditures and retiring some of the federal debt.[103][104]" You know, you can combine citations so as not to have two or three etc. in a row. You can get some ideas from articles like W.S. Gilbert, Tourette syndrome and El Greco.
- "The treaty did not actually achieve its result - the outlawry of war - but did provide the founding principle for international law after the Second World War." I think you should cite that.
That's kind of hard to cite. I'll see what I can do. Coemgenus 21:19, 4 February 2007 (UTC)Done. Coemgenus 21:51, 4 February 2007 (UTC)
- Second paragraph of "The 1928 Election" is also uncited. I think that assertions like "Coolidge had been lukewarm on the choice of Hoover as his successor, but he realized that unless he publicly blocked the popular Commerce Secretary at the convention, the nomination was his, and Coolidge had no desire to split the party by openly opposing Hoover" need referencing.
This just got added recently by someone else - I'll try to locate a cite. Coemgenus 21:19, 4 February 2007 (UTC)Done. Coemgenus 21:51, 4 February 2007 (UTC)
- "Faced with looming defeat in 1932, some Republicans spoke of rejecting Herbert Hoover as their party's nominee, and instead drafting Coolidge to run, but the former President made it clear that he was not interested in running again, and that he would publicly repudiate any effort to draft him, should it come about." Also uncited.
This just got added recently by someone else - I'll try to locate a cite. Coemgenus 21:19, 4 February 2007 (UTC)Done. Coemgenus 21:51, 4 February 2007 (UTC)
- I see criticism and evaluation of his work as President in the lead, but not in the main text. I think this is a problem. The lead should offer hints for what follows, and not to exhaust important topics, such as the "criticism of laissez-faire government". Maybe a section elaborating on these assessments, criticisms, praises etc. would be useful.
- Your online source in note 124 is not properly cited. Why don't you use Template:cite web?
OK. Coemgenus 21:19, 4 February 2007 (UTC)Done.Coemgenus 21:51, 4 February 2007 (UTC)
- Alphabetize categories at the and of the article.--Yannismarou 20:30, 4 February 2007 (UTC)
Will do. Coemgenus 21:19, 4 February 2007 (UTC)Done. Coemgenus 21:51, 4 February 2007 (UTC)