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Wikipedia:Peer review/You Only Move Twice/archive1

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The page is modelled after current FAs Cape Feare and Homer's Phobia. Any suggestions that anyone has would be greatly appreciated. Also, I'm curious if anyone thinks that Image:YOMTlying.png should be removed. -- Scorpion 16:56, 16 April 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Michaelas10

[edit]

Ah, my favorite The Simpsons episode. It needs copyediting I'm afraid.

  • Albert Brooks voiced > Albert Brooks-voiced.
  • ...and IGN.com named Albert Brooks' performance as Hank Scorpio the best guest spot in the show's history - Link IGN without .com, "Albert Brooks' performance as Hank Scorpio" redundant with previous sentence.
  • "Also" often used excessively.
  • saying "The episode is... - Take "the episode" outside the quotations.
  • ...comedy," and, "it's impossible - Use {{interp|...}}.
  • The authors of the book I Can't Believe It's a Bigger and Better Updated Unofficial Simpsons Guide, Warren Martyn and Adrian Wood - Move "Warren Martyn and Adrian Wood" to the beginning of the sentence.
  • ...called it "A tremendous episode" citing that it had - Uncapitalize "a", this isn't a sentence beginning. Comma before "citing". "That" redundant.
  • big action films - Remove "big".
  • ...makes an appearance - Where?
  • ...after American American army general - Just change to "U.S. army". No need in the first "American", as it's obvious.
  • The song at the end of the show is a parody of various Bond themes and was written by Ken Keeler - The show in general? Move "written by Ken Keeler" earlier.
  • There are also references to several other Bond films, such as Sean Connery's Bond is tackled by Homer and killed - Grammar.
  • Homer buys Tom Landry's hat,[3] and not long after this episode aired, the Denver Broncos won the Super Bowl - Remove the sentence, not a cultural reference. Michaelas10 19:17, 16 April 2007 (UTC)[reply]