Wikipedia:Peer review/The O.C. (season 1)/archive1

The O.C. (season 1)

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2008.

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Hi, I'm interested in ultimately getting this list to the standard of FL, however this is my first real drive of an article, and I would appreciate any guidance and comments people have.

Many thanks, Rambo's Revenge (talk) 19:23, 14 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Matthewedwards (talk · contribs)

Resolved comments from Matthewedwards (talk • contribs • email) 00:11, 16 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Unlink bold text per WP:BOLDTITLE Done. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 21:09, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"The first season of the television The O.C." doesn't make sense. I suspect a missing word, but "The first season of The O.C." will work just as well. Done, television→television series. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 21:09, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I think MOS:NUM requires times to be "9:00 p.m." rather than "9:00 pm" Done. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 11:22, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Move the sentence " It was aired on the FOX Network in the U.S." from ==Crew== to the Lede, as the channel it airs on has nothing to do with the crew. Done. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 11:22, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Pluralise the days of the week → "Tuesdays" and "Wednesdays" Done. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 11:22, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
" Marissa Cooper[5]", put references after punctuation, per WP:CS, though it's not necessary at all here because the same reference is used at the end of the sentence Done, removed citation. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 11:22, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"Kirsten[5]," again, put it after the punctuation Done. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 13:48, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"Seth Cohen[5]" Don't need this reference here, as it appears after Kirsten. Removed. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 14:04, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"Both gained contracts to the main cast list after thirteen epsiodes." Unlink both words, neither are necessary. Typo on episodes, too. Done. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 11:22, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"including:" remove the colon Done. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 11:22, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"stared" → "starred", I think, unless she glares at people Done. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 11:22, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"Katlin" → "Kaitlin" Done. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 11:22, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"Nana Cohen[10]," WP:CS Done. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 11:22, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
" Other future recurring roles to be introduced" does this mean they became recurring roles in later seasons? If they were just guest roles at this point, say that instead. Done, reworded last two sentences. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 11:22, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"Dawn[11]" and "Trey[11]" -- WP:CS Done. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 13:48, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Make sure all references in ==Reception== follow punctuation, not placed mid-sentence or before punctuation Done. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 21:09, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Is the plot overview necessary? If the episode summaries were expanded, this information could be included there instead Removed. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 14:04, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
{{episode list}} now has writer= and director= fields, so use them instead of alt1= and alt2=. Done. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 12:08, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
try to find production codes for the episodes. You need to make it as encyclopedic as possible, and this will help separate it from a fan-site's guide to season 1.

Comment Had a look. I found this [1] which suggests they are an amalgomation of series and episodes. But I feel this is unlikely given the format of those commonly listed for seasons three and four.^[2][3] Rambo's Revenge (talk) 17:09, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done. A bit more digging and found this [4] listing production codes. Also later I discovered in the individual episode articles (which probably shouldn't be there) they had existing prod. codes which agreed with what I had put. Bonus! Rambo's Revenge (talk) 20:29, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Are the DVD features and set details the same for Region 2 and 4 as they are for Region 1?

Comment, They seem the same for Region 2,^[5] and Region 4.^[6]. The subtitles may differ, but that probably depends mainly on the European country of release, so would be difficult to find, cite and include.

I have a few issues with references that need to be fixed for it to become FL worthy:
- Don't use imdb and tv.com as references, or savetheoc, which I'm guessing is a fansite Done, moved to external links Rambo's Revenge (talk) 11:22, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

- According to www.melinda-clarke.com, "This site is 100% unofficial, we do not have any contact to Melinda or her managment.", and it's hosted at fan-sites.org, which makes it unreliable Gone, good spot, used refs from OCInsider instead (which is Warner Bros. affiliated). Rambo's Revenge (talk) 13:48, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

- What makes hollywoodauditions.com a reliable source? Replaced, used refs from OCInsider. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 13:48, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- Try to use as many fields as possible from {{cite web}}. I promise no one will ever complain.
Add {{OCnavigation}} Done. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 11:22, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Is there an official site, still to include in an external links section?

Not Done, the old offical site www.fox.com/oc no longer works.

If not, does archive.org have a version from 2003 or 2004 to link to?

Comment, archive.org doesn't have any useful links from season one era. They appear to be old white empty flashboxes that no longer work in the archives. I guess it isn't worth including that just to show that there existed an offical site there, or is it? Rambo's Revenge (talk) 17:09, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The EL section can also contain a link to the tv.com and imdb pages, using {{Tv.com show}} and {{Imdb name}}

That's all I have for now. I have a couple more things in mind, but I need to see the page after some of the suggestions above have been carried out. I'll watch this PR, but also let me know on my talk page so I don't forget. Matthewedwards (talk • contribs • email) 21:54, 14 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

You need to present a worldwide view of the subject in the lead. You discuss how well it was recieved in Australia in the reception, you should also mention at least what network it aired on there, as well as in the UK, where IIRC, it was particularly well recieved. Also include release dates for Regions 2 and 4 for the DVD.

Comment Agree about mentioning networks, but region 2 and 4 release dates are incorporated into DVD release, under dates for UK and Australia. Does this need repeating elsewhere? Rambo's Revenge (talk) 17:09, 15 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

You could put them in the Lede, but its not necessary.

Done, I've added Canadian, UK, and Australia networks to the lead. I've decided not to duplice the other DVD region dates there though. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 14:43, 16 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

"Taylor Handley played a much hated, obsessing Oliver Trask." Reads odd, because no other character description uses "a". Also, does "much hated" mean by other characters, or by viewers?

Done, I've hopefully clarified that and provided a reference to back it up. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 11:58, 16 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

"Bonnie Somerville as Rachel Hoffman, a former work collegue of Sandy." Stubby

Comment, I've reworded slightly, will it suffice or does it a bigger change? Rambo's Revenge (talk) 11:58, 16 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

You need to be less biassed about its popularity, and find some articles which do this, if they exist. P.S. I know they do because I've used them myself at Degrassi: The Next Generation (season 3)#Reception (ref 27) and Degrassi: The Next Generation (season 4)#Reception (Refs 26 & 29)

Added more, the second lot of refs you suggest relate to the second season 2 - and that a whole new thing for a different day :), I used the first one though and included what I could find in the way of bad reviews in differenct aspects of the show to try and provide a balanced view. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 17:37, 17 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

See if you can find any reviews, both positive and negative from the UK

Comment, whilst I agree it was well recieved in the UK I couldn't find an specific reviews, and it didn't seem to get any specific awards in the UK that I could find. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 17:49, 17 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Apparently, The Futon Critic isn't considered to be a WP:RS. The page doesn't load for me either so I can't tell what it is, but if it's a press release it should be available elsewhere

Comment, Site works for me, but I can't find an alternative source as it is not a press release. If you can get it to work can you tell me if it still needs replacing? Thanks Rambo's Revenge (talk) 23:02, 16 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Refs 4 and 9 use tv.com :(

Comment, the only tv.com reference is now 6 (previously 4) and lists the crew. Is this [7] any more reliable, in fact do the directors and writers even need citing seeing as they are all individually listed for episodes. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 23:02, 16 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Matthewedwards (talk • contribs • email) 00:11, 16 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]