Wikipedia:Peer review/Star Wars: Rogue Squadron/archive1

Star Wars: Rogue Squadron

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for December 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I've worked very hard on it over the past month and I think it is close to GA. Ultimately I would like to get it to FA. I think the article is very well sourced and pretty well written. Any comments on these areas are welcome. I'm also looking for any advice with the free(...?) content on the page. Any help is appreciated!

Thanks, --Torsodog^Talk 16:19, 15 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Review by Headbomb

It's indeed a very high quality article. A few comments.

You mention the default 5 playable ships. Any reason why the unlockables ones aren't mentioned (Millenium Falcon, Car, ...)?

Only because they aren't playable by default. They have stipulations to how and why you can play with them and they are all mentioned in the Unlockable section. --Torsodog^Talk 23:03, 28 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

In the setting, perhaps a brief mention of who Skywalker and Antilles are is order. It's obvious to me, but I'm a Star Wars whore. Other might not be so knowledgeable.
"Mysterious new leader". If I recall correctly, that leader was mentionned by name, and it should be explicited right there. Is it Kohl Seerdon?

The problem with this is that I'm not sure who the leader is. As far as I can tell, it is never mentioned explicitly in the game and I'm not that knowledgeable in Stars Wars lore to know or confirm that it is Seerdon. --Torsodog^Talk 23:03, 28 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Indeed, the new leader's not mentioned in the N64 game or manual. Dates in Star Wars says "Emperor Palpatine is reborn in a clone body" six years after the Battle of Endor (ten years after the Battle of Yavin), and cites the Dark Empire books (which I don't own). That may be what they meant, but they never say in-game or in-manual. Bah. --an odd name 18:03, 30 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Crix Madine/Kasan Moor/Rieekan... I'm surprised that Madine doesn't have his own article, but wikilink to a list of star wars characters in is order. Same goes for any other character mentioned.

The only reason I didn't link these people to the character lists is because they aren't even IN these lists, to my surprise. --Torsodog^Talk 23:03, 28 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done Actually, two were and I added Moor to the list and then linked them all. --Torsodog^Talk 17:56, 30 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

High-definition should link to image resolution or display resolution rather than HDTV

Done --Torsodog^Talk 23:03, 28 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

at a mere 22 kHz that's weasel-word ish. Rephrasing into something like "at the relatively low 22 kHz sampling rate" would be better.

Done --Torsodog^Talk 23:03, 28 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Upon its release in 1998, many reviews directly compared Star Wars: Rogue Squadron to one of its inspirations, a flight combat level in Shadows of the Empire that is generally considered to be one of the game's best levels. Which flight combat level? There were more than one.

Done --Torsodog^Talk 23:03, 28 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Mac Donald who is this guy and why is his opinion considered notable?

Done --Torsodog^Talk 23:03, 28 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

N64's most well-hiden code. Wasn't the GoldenEye code to unlock all characters for multiplayer even "more hidden"? Note that I don't know this, I'm just throwing something I know took a pretty long to be known.

Well, it is a quote from IGN, so that is why it is worded that way. But you also have to remember, this code was never discovered, it was simply official unveiled earlier. --Torsodog^Talk 23:03, 28 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Avoid contraction's such as "can't" or "doesn't". Just search for the "n't" string and you'll find them all in a heart beat.

Done --Torsodog^Talk 23:03, 28 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Other than that, it's extremely solid and extremely well written. I'd definitely support this for FA. Headbomb {^ταλκ_{κοντριβς} – WP Physics} 05:26, 20 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review! It was a lot of help! I hope I addressed all of your concerns adequately. If you have any more comments, please feel free to let me know! --Torsodog^Talk 23:03, 28 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Review by Jappalang

Lede

"It was one of the first games to take advantage of the console's Expansion Pak, which allowed players to view the game in a high-resolution mode."

This deserves a contrasting element, i.e. bring in a mention of the standard resolution the N64 used.

Done - Changed to It was one of the first games to take advantage of the console's Expansion Pak, which allowed players to play the game with a 640x480 resolution display instead of the standard 320x240 resolution. --Torsodog^Talk 00:08, 29 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Gameplay

"Before each mission, the player selects one of five default craft: a(n) X-wing, A-wing, Y-wing, Snowspeeder or V-wing. Only one vehicle is initially usable in each mission, but completing the game once allows any of the craft to be selected upon replay (excluding missions that require the use of the Snowspeeder or Y-wing). Each craft has its own unique set of characteristics consisting of primary lasers, secondary weapons, speed and maneuverability."

"a(n)" is not needed

Suggestion: "The game offers five futuristic crafts for the player to control: X-wing, A-wing, Y-wing, Snowspeeder and V-wing. Each vehicle has its own set of characteristics that consists of primary lasers, secondary weapons, speed and maneuverability. The game initially restricts the player to a particular craft for each mission; however; after the player has completed a mission, he or she can replay it with any vehicle."

Done - Great suggestion! This was the last section I edited and for some reason I was having problems with it. Thanks for the help. --Torsodog^Talk 00:08, 29 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

"Enemy craft and characters with which the player must contend include both air and ground vehicles. Enemy aircraft are primarily TIE fighters and probe droids. Ground defenses are more varied and include three different kinds of walkers, laser and missile turrets, stormtroopers and speeder bikes."

This can be moved to the end of "... where enemy, friendly and neutral NPCs are located and guides players to the locations of mission objectives." and rewritten as:

"Enemies comprise air and ground units. Their aircrafts are primarily TIE fighters and probe droids. Ground defences are more varied and include three different kinds of walkers, laser and missile turrets, stormtroopers and speeder bikes."

Done - Thanks for the suggestion again. It helped to clean up this section a lot. --Torsodog^Talk 00:08, 29 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Where are the sources? Primary sources (game manuals and guides) are acceptable for gameplay descriptions.

Again, last section I edited and I got lazy. My manual is at my other house, so I will update with sources ASAP! --Torsodog^Talk 00:08, 29 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Synopsis

Seriously, both sub-sections should be trimmed (mostly Plot). There is no need to explicitly state every story detail of the game.

I disagree with the need to trim the Setting sub-section, but you are probably correct on Plot. My thought was that it was better to fully flesh it out and trim if needed instead of having to added to a meger Plot section. I will try to cut it down as soon as I have time. Feel free to take a stab at it if you are feeling up to the challenge! (Especially if you haven't played the game before, I might be a bit too attached to write the Plot section correctly.) --Torsodog^Talk 00:08, 29 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done I cut it down a bit and now believe that the plot section is a good length for a story driven game. It is no longer the longest section in the article, and it is comparable to other FA with similar sections. --Torsodog^Talk 17:56, 30 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Development

"but at the time LucasFilm was not keen on having games draw directly from the Star Wars films, and the proposal was shot down."

Plagiarism alert, From Shoemaker's Star Wars Rogue Squadron: A Retrospective, "At the time, however, LucasFilm wasn't keen on having games drawn directly from the Star Wars films, so Factor 5's initial pitch for a game that offered missions similar to fans' favorite Star Wars action sequences was shot down."

Please write in your own words the context of what the source has said.

Done --Torsodog^Talk 00:08, 29 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

"The team then stumbled upon the Star Wars: X-wing Rogue Squadron comics set during the original trilogy that followed a group of pilots (including several characters from the films) led by Luke Skywalker. Factor 5 then set out to create a flight action game set in the Star Wars universe that featured original missions executed by the team of pilots from the comic books."

Again, from Shoemaker, "Then the group stumbled on a comic book named Rogue Squadron that was based on the elite group of pilots led by Luke Skywalker in the classic trilogy. Factor 5 set about creating a flight action game with an emphasis on original missions that would be set in the Star Wars universe and would focus on the elite team of pilots from the comic books."

Done --Torsodog^Talk 00:08, 29 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

"A demo of the game was shown at E3 1998, but it was little more than a tech demo that could render a basic height map. It also featured an AT-AT model that was unable to move and AI-less TIE Fighters that simply flew and fired in a predetermined path."

Again, "the demo on display at the show was little more than a tech demo that could render a basic height map. It also showed an AT-AT model that was unable to move, and it had TIE Fighters with no AI that simply flew and fired over a predetermined path."

Done --Torsodog^Talk 00:08, 29 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

"Factor 5 wanted to use the Nintendo 64's Expansion Pak, a memory expansion module for the console, to improve the game's graphics, but Nintendo was initially hesitant; Nintendo considered the technology reserved for new N64 hardware peripherals alone. After Turok 2: Seeds of Evil used the expansion to achieve a higher resolution, Factor 5 was also allowed to use it to allow gamers to play the game in a higher resolution (640x480) instead of the standard (320x240)."

Now from the second page of Shoemaker's,[1] "The team wanted to use the Nintendo 64's memory expansion module to improve Rogue Squadron's graphics, but Nintendo was initially hesitant; Nintendo considered the technology reserved for new N64 hardware peripherals alone. But after Turok 2: Seeds of Evil used the expansion to achieve a higher resolution, Factor 5 was also allowed to up Rogue Squadron's graphical ante."

Done --Torsodog^Talk 00:08, 29 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

"For the game's sound, LucasFilm was wary of allowing the game's sound designer Rudolph Stember access to the Star Wars library of sound effects because the company did not like the prospect of others using them outside of LucasFilm. As a compromise, it provided Stember with a assortment of sounds sampled at a mere 22 kHz, half the sampling rate needed to achieve realistic sound. Stember found that the effects he had lifted from VHS tapes of the original movies for a previous project actually sounded better than the clips provided by LucasFilm."

Further plagiarism from the same source above, "Unfortunately, at the time, LucasFilm was wary of permitting the Star Wars library of sound effects to be used outside of the company, so it provided Stember with a meager assortment of sounds sampled at a mere 22 kHz (which is only half the sampling rate needed to achieve realistic sound). Stember found that the effects he had lifted from VHS tapes of the original movies for a previous project actually sounded better than the clips provided by LucasFilm."

Changed a bit, but I plan to add more from a different source, so I will change more substantially ASAP. --Torsodog^Talk 00:08, 29 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

"This set of sound drivers utilizes both of the Nintendo 64's processors and is much less processor-taxing than the previous drivers. Advanced compression techniques were also employed to fit a large quantity of sound data in relatively little space."

Where in IGN's Best Sound of 1999 does this statement of claims and comparisons come from?

"Instead of trying to get Nintendo's aging sound drivers to do anything, Factor 5 went back to the drawing board and designed its own sound tools from scratch. The outcome is a much less processor-taxing way to handle sound that uses both processors and pumps out high quality stereo audio." Here they mention the original sound drivers, then in the next sentence they state that the new drivers are much less processor-taxing. --Torsodog^Talk 00:08, 29 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I am stopping here. Please rewrite the Development section. It should not bear such similiarity with Shoemaker's work. Once rewritten, please remove the {{copypaste}} tag I have added to the section. Jappalang (talk) 13:53, 28 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]