Wikipedia:Peer review/Star Trek: The Original Series/archive1

Star Trek: The Original Series

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I have quick-checked the whole article as a sole reader. I have not substantially contributed this article either at all or very much if my name is in the history log. Nevertheless, this article should have a chance to be reviewed for a reputation that this article well deserves. Please give some credit to a bunch of substantial and significant contributors of this article; they deserve all the work they have done. --George Ho (talk) 08:06, 5 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Lead needs to be expanded to three to four paragraphs.
When doing conversions, please use standard abbreviations: for example, miles -> mi, kilometers squared -> km2, and pounds -> lb.
Headings generally should not repeat the title of the article.
Watch out for redundancies as well (i.e. "in order to", "all of").

Hope these comments help. Darth Sjones23 (talk - contributions) 01:41, 16 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

UPDATE: There have been changes after your review, Sjones: http://wiki.riteme.site/w/index.php?title=Star_Trek%3A_The_Original_Series&action=historysubmit&diff=471619105&oldid=471446586. --George Ho (talk) 05:11, 16 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Another UPDATE: http://wiki.riteme.site/w/index.php?title=Star_Trek%3A_The_Original_Series&action=historysubmit&diff=471723258&oldid=471619105 --George Ho (talk) 22:47, 16 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Want another review; Another UPDATE: http://wiki.riteme.site/w/index.php?title=Star_Trek%3A_The_Original_Series&action=historysubmit&diff=472934280&oldid=472895461 --George Ho (talk) 06:06, 24 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Here's some more ideas on improving the article:

Shrink down the table of contents by merging subsections or a proper system of daughter pages per WP:WIAFA.
Avoid contractions (i.e. wasn't, doesn't) outside of quotations.
The article may need to go summary style, where appropriate series of subpages are used.
As mentioned in my above review, we need to use standard abbreviations when we are doing conversions per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (numbers).

I think these ideas would help further in improving the article. Darth Sjones23 (talk - contributions) 14:51, 24 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

UPDATE: http://wiki.riteme.site/w/index.php?title=Star_Trek%3A_The_Original_Series&action=historysubmit&diff=473108898&oldid=473052932. Found the abbreviations you may have mentioned; are there any other I missed? --George Ho (talk) 20:41, 25 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Need more review; another UPDATE: http://wiki.riteme.site/w/index.php?title=Star_Trek%3A_The_Original_Series&action=historysubmit&diff=473561805&oldid=473108898. Is the addition of another parody necessary? --George Ho (talk) 02:02, 30 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]