Wikipedia:Peer review/Smash Hit/archive1

Smash Hit

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch • Watch peer review

I've listed this article for peer review because I am looking for feedback before nominating the article for WP:FAC. I'm open to getting any feedback on how to improve the article, particularly the prose. Thanks, Vacant0 (talk • contribs) 10:55, 3 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Not sure where to squeeze this in this in, so I'll just put it here: This source could probably be used somewhere. It talks about the game's glass physics. TWOrantula^TM (enter the web) 21:53, 14 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I've added some content that I consider to be useful from that and another one source by Gustaffson. Thanks for your review. If you have any new additional comments, especially about Development, feel free to list them down below and I'll adress them. Vacant0 (talk • contribs) 13:05, 15 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

750h

Thank you so much bringing one of the most nostalgic video games to GA (but i don't remember ever making it to the end [if there even is one])! hope we'll see this on the main page soon!

lead

Smash Hit received positive reviews, with reviewers praising its... i'd make this "Smash Hit received positive reviews; critics praised its.."

gameplay

Smash Hit uses 3D graphics and has also been categorised as an action and puzzle game. remove "also"
After its release, Smash Hit had different game modes introduced remove "introduced"
The game does not count the player's score but rather counts the distance covered. ==> "The game does not count the player's score but the distance covered."

development and release

No problems here

reception

described the glass shattering mechanic as add a hyphen between "glass" and "shattering"
Trevor Sheridan of AppleNApps said that the game stands by its name, but he underlined the game's difficulty when moving through narrow spaces; Pocket Gamer also named Smash Hit as one of the hardest mobile video games. i'd split this into two sentences, into AppleNApps' review and Pocket Gamer's
for Independent Games Festival's 2015 Main add "the" before "Independent"

legacy

No problems here.

Thanks for the article, overall a nice read. Excited to see this at FAC, @Vacant0:! 750 h+ 12:13, 3 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

All done. Thanks for the review. Vacant0 (talk • contribs) 22:04, 3 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

mujinga

This'll be a nonexpert prosey sort of review Mujinga (talk) 20:57, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

"or slowing down the time" - slowing down the time for what?
"Gustafsson and Johansson began developing the game in 2012, while Holmquist joined the team in January 2013" - since you just had "while" above, suggest changing to "and"
"The game's physics were praised by reviewers" sounds a bit funny to me. checking the applenapps review it talks about how "the physics engine is even better with the way everything reacts to your interaction" and "Ultra realistic physics". would it be overkill to link to Physics engine?
wikilink voxel?
i'll do the lead last:
"In the game, the player takes a first-person perspective and has to shoot metal balls to destroy glass obstacles and beat its 11 levels." - suggest something like "In the game, the player takes a first-person perspective, shooting metal balls in order to destroy glass obstacles and beat 11 levels."
overall i found the prose pretty good, but a bit stop-start, which could be resolved by running sentences together eg as one example - "Harry Slater of Pocket Gamer saw the game as entertaining, but said that it contains "moments that'll make you curse".[11] According to Alex Beech of AppSpy, the checkpoint system ultimately undermined the endless mode scoreboard idea.[23]" > "Harry Slater of Pocket Gamer saw the game as entertaining, but said that it contains "moments that'll make you curse"; according to Alex Beech of AppSpy, the checkpoint system ultimately undermined the endless mode scoreboard idea.[11][23]". Also there's quite a lot of direct quotations. Good luck with it! Mujinga (talk) 21:08, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for the review. I've addressed your comments and cut down the number of direct quotations. Vacant0 (talk • contribs) 10:56, 8 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

TWOrantula

Coming soon... TWOrantula^TM (enter the web) 04:23, 9 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Done TWOrantula^TM (enter the web) 03:28, 15 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

"In the game, the player takes a first-person perspective, shooting metal balls to destroy glass obstacles and beat 11 levels." -> "Through the game's 11 levels, the player takes a first-person perspective, shooting metal balls to destroy glass obstacles."
"an endless mode" instead of "the endless mode"? Sounds smoother to me.
"The game also features a one-time in-game purchase, allowing the player to start from any checkpoint." - Usually, I don't see in-app purchases in the lead. Could this be removed?
"the 2022 video game"? Could specify year.
Awards should be mentioned in lead, specifically after the summary for reception.
- All done. I'd rather keep the in-game purchase, considering that it was highlighted by articles and reviewers and I see it as an important aspect of the game. If more editors are opposed to its inclusion, I'll remove it. Vacant0 (talk • contribs) 17:57, 12 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Gameplay

"accompanied by dynamic music that changes as the player advances" -> "while dynamic music playing in the background changes as the player advances"
I'm not sure how "aiming carefully" works here. Couldn't the player just tap the spot they want to shoot at? Point is, this phrase should be more specific, something like "The player must shoot metal balls to destroy glass obstacles while conserving their supply(?), as the game ends when the limited ammunition runs out."
"Smash Hit uses 3D graphics, and has been categorised as an action and puzzle game." - Shouldn't this be in the first sentence in the paragraph? Also, you can remove the 3D graphics part if you want to.
"The player can choose to shoot at crystals..."
"...while losing one ball on each shot"?
"breaks the combo"?
"...to ~~the baseline~~ one ball."
Explain "explosive"... does that mean the player is able to hit a greater amount of glass at once?
"Smash Hit contains a total of 11 levels..." -> "After completion, the player..."
"The game does not count the player's score, but the distance covered." -> "The game covers the player's distance instead of their score."
"...however, a one-time in-game purchase allows the player to start from any unlocked checkpoint, making Smash Hit a freemium game. The purchase also allows the player to sync progress via their cloud system, such as iCloud." -> "...however, a one-time in-game purchase allows the player to start from any unlocked checkpoint and sync progress via a cloud system such as iCloud."
"...Smash Hit introduced different game modes, including a training mode as well as two multiplayer modes: versus, with two players competing on the same device, and cooperative, with two players completing the game together on the same device." -> "...Smash Hit introduced three different game modes: a single-player training mode, a multiplayer versus mode with two players competing on the same device, and a cooperative mode with two players completing the game together on the same device."
- All done. Yes, "conserving their supply" is a good way to explain it how it works. The game is primarily a rail shooter, so I'd rather not stack all genres in the first sentence. I did not implement the last comment regarding gamemodes, because the two multiplayer modes were released later. So it's five in total, not three. Vacant0 (talk • contribs) 11:50, 15 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Development and release

"The game has continued receiving updates since its initial release in 2014." - Is that still true?
- Yes, latest update is from 2024. Ref 23 confirms this. Vacant0 (talk • contribs) 11:51, 15 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

"Common Sense Media praised the game as mesmerising with 'a therapeutic experience'. Pocket Gamer named Smash Hit as one of the hardest mobile video games." - These sentences could go in a paragraph about the gameplay's reception.
Follow-up point: Maybe I'm not looking hard enough, but there is no paragraph on how the gameplay was received. I mean, it literally is the most vital part of the game, and there are several reviews at your disposal.
Hang on... is AppleNApps reliable?
Not so sure about Southern Daily Echo...
"Reviewers also commended the game's visuals, music, and sound effects." - The problem with this paragraph is that there are too many aspects of the game merged into one. Unless there is not enough information for a certain facet of the game, try splitting the topics up into separate paragraphs.
Shouldn't this section be titled "Sequel and legacy"? I've heard that sequels aren't necessarily a part of a game's legacy.
"Smash Hit was the most downloaded video game on iOS in March 2014, while on Android devices, it was the sixth most downloaded video game. According to Mediocre, Smash Hit was downloaded more than 100 million times by October 2015." - Should go in the release section.
I've seen a game's accolades merged with the reception section's first paragraph.
- All done. I feel like the second paragraph already covers the gameplay, though that might not be obvious because it's not mentioned in the first sentence. I do not see any particular issues with AppleNApps (Sheridan covered iOS games and apps for about a decade and is an Apple employee), though I've removed Southern Daily Echo as it does not really add anything to the article. The music and sound effects were merged during the GA review because there's not too much content to keep it as a separate paragraph. Per WP:VGLAYOUT, "Legacy" is correct. Vacant0 (talk • contribs) 12:11, 15 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Legacy

"The game was also later released for Oculus Rift and Oculus Go headsets." - Could specify when this happened if knowledge is available.
- Done.