Wikipedia:Peer review/Sacred Cod of Massachusetts/archive3

Sacred Cod of Massachusetts

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I was able to pass it through GAC this June and after the work to the article I have done since, I feel it maybe able to pass FAC. The biggest issues I think might need to get ironed out would be the images in the article and how to tie in the "holy mackerel." Also, spelling and grammar are not my strong suits so any help in that sense would be great.

Thanks, Found5dollar (talk) 19:16, 1 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Magicpiano

This article is fairly well on the way toward FA; I've got a few comments on fact and grammar, and have probably missed things that a copyeditor would change.

Samuel Sewall was not the judge presiding over the Salem trials, he was one of several. (The chief magistrate then was William Stoughton; Sewall only later became Chief Justice of the Massachusetts Superior Court of Judicature.)

Fixed, changed to "one of the judges".--Found5dollar (talk) 19:11, 13 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The 1776 chronology is backwards: by the time the DoI was read, the British occupation of Boston had already ended (evacuation March 17, 1776). This implies the fish was already missing in July 1776 if the British took it. Following up on this, you might locate sources that talk about British-occupied Boston, which probably had wood shortages (for both fuel and construction).

wow. that was a blatant mistake on my part. I have removed the part about the DoI, and instead included a sentence about lack of wood and the presumed use of the cod for firewood.--Found5dollar (talk) 19:11, 13 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

File:Sacred Cod 01.JPG, I'm sorry to say, is probably not a good image for a featured article, because it is out of focus or jittered due to long hand-held exposure. I see you took it -- you'll need a more sensitive (higher) ISO setting if the lighting in the chamber is poor. Best use File:Sacred Cod 02.JPG instead, which is sharp; File:Sacred Cod 03.JPG is also out of focus/jittered.

switched out image.--Found5dollar (talk) 19:11, 13 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I would try to locate and add an image of one of the other colonial-era fish representations that you mention in the history.

I added an image of the first New Hampshire Seal, but i need to do some moving around of images to make it fit correctly. Do you think the image of a swimming cod is needed?--Found5dollar (talk) 20:07, 13 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"the cod industry supported about 400 boats" in what year/decade? (Text suggests this is from the 1895 report, but it should be made explicit.)

added "prior to the industrial revolution"--Found5dollar (talk) 00:25, 15 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"with dried cod being traded" --> "dried cod was traded"

fixed--Found5dollar (talk) 00:25, 15 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I would mention the weight of the object in the Description section

done--Found5dollar (talk) 00:25, 15 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Is it "State House" or "Statehouse"?

fixed all to "State House"--Found5dollar (talk) 00:25, 15 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"the Sacred Cod was found standing on it's tail" --> "its"

fixed--Found5dollar (talk) 00:25, 15 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"behind a door in hallway" --> the/a?

woops... fixed it.--Found5dollar (talk) 00:25, 15 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"It was placed on a bier and was carried by three Massachusetts Representatives, while being escorted by the Sergeant-at-Arms.[27] A procession to the chamber began and the Cod was carried as such to its new home." This can be simplified.

simplified.--Found5dollar (talk) 05:10, 16 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"On April 27, the Crimson gave the staff of the Lampoon an ultimatum to give the Sacred Cod, by midnight, to them and allow the Crimson to take credit for returning it or they would go public with their findings." Awkward.

deawkarded... i think--Found5dollar (talk) 05:10, 16 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"No charges were filed against in response to the "Cod-napping" Against what?

deleted "against"--Found5dollar (talk) 05:10, 16 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"The next threat to the Sacred Cod came in 1941, when the Aluminum-for-defense Collection Drive in Massachusetts was mistakenly informed that the Cod was made of aluminum, and asked that it be donated to the war effort." I'd split this sentence.

split.--Found5dollar (talk) 05:10, 16 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

--Magic♪piano 21:05, 12 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]