Wikipedia:Peer review/Real Madrid C.F./archive3

Please get pieces of advice on how can this article be improved. I'm sure it will be a featured article someday...--Hadrianos1990 16:17, 18 September 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Mattythewhite

Here are some comments.

We're told what Los Blancos means, but what does Los Merengues mean?
In the lead, the club is referred to in both singular and plural forms. Be consistent and pick one and stick with it.
There is information, such as "The club was one of the founding members of FIFA", which is meantioned in the lead, but not anywhere else in the article. Per WP:LEAD, the lead should only be a summary of what the rest of the article tells us. Also, this should lead to no references being used in the lead, which is what we want.
The sentence starting "In 1895 they founded the club.." should have the "In 1985" in a more suitable place. It read better with the date not at the front of the sentence.
The setence starting "During Bernabéu's presidency many of Real Madrid's most legendary names played for the club, including.." and lists all of the "greats" seems quite subjective, giving the players who someone considers to be their greatest players.
"On July 16, Pérez won the election." What election?
The sentence starting "They started by signing Emerson, Fabio Cannavaro, Mahamadou Diarra and young players.." is going into a bit too much detail.. does it really matter what they players Capello signed? Maybe mention Cannavaro, considering he had just won the World Cup.. And saying "young players" is a bit dodgy.. what exactly do you consider as a young player?
Again, a bit too much detail with Schusters signings.
The "History" section needs a major copyedit in general.
The "Stadiums" is under-referenced.
As is "Statistics and records".
And "Supporters" could do with a few more.
The reference for "Managers" does not mention the matches, won, drawn, lost etc.

The work you have done on the article is excellent. But, I think you should take things slow and steady. FA status isn't achieved overnight! Cheers, Mattythewhite 16:42, 18 September 2007 (UTC)[reply]